23yrs later your daughter is at your door
 

HiYa to everyone that reads this.

I've been a member for a few months and have read my share of questions and comments on various topics and with such a diverse group I thought I would get some feed back to my newest dilemma....

Some back ground - Back in the late 70's to early 80's I worked as a bartender. Some were plane beer bars some served the good stuff (in KS back then you had 3.2 beer bars and "Clubs" you had to purchase a membership... yes. for each one.) Sometimes I thought Carry Nation would pop back up from her grave, burst in and start smashing up the place with her swinging her axe.

Back to the issue. As in all establishments you have your... shall we say "Bar Flys" You know the ones, they follow you home and take advantage of you... LOL

Well, one such lady happened to find her way to my apartment and after a few hours of ho-hum sex she gathered her things and left. Then comes back into the club a few weeks later and "OH guess what.... I'm pregnant and it's yours." WTF? (what the fuck) No way, remember I used a condom" Well she kept after it. Showing up, telling everyone yada yada yada...

It's now Aug. 4, 1980. My mother is in the hospital, dieing of cancer (turns out this was the day she passed away) and I get served paternity papers. (I kid you not) Now all the legal eagles start to do their thing with the questions to each of us and a court date was set. Court was to be on a Monday, the Friday before, my attorney called and said "No court on Monday, she dropped the paternity suit" Then "POOF" never did see or hear from her again.....

Until..... (turn your clocks up 23yrs.)

The phone rings last week and after a few meaningless questions on the rental house across the street she tells me who she really is. YEPPY SKIPPY, you guessed it... It's psycho bitch. (I have them numbered) Then says "When can your daughter come meet you and her grandfather?" WHOOOOAAA NELLY, what do you mean? So she started calling me a few names the usual stuff and believe it or not I got a tad pissed, told her where to go and how to get there and hung up the phone. OK.. more like almost took it off the wall... Now it's border line stalking me. Comes to my house, pounds on the door, kicks the door, leaves me real nasty notes on my truck. (her vocabulary hasn't expanded over time like she has.... had to toss that in.. sorry)She is the only one who has called, came over or done any of this until last Sunday, I get another note in my door from the "daughter" and she wants to know... Why didn't I answer the door when she was there? (uhhh maybe I wasn't here) Where I have been for her 20+ years of life. Why won't you take the blood test and find out? yada yada yada. Then the one question that got me sparked up was "When can I meet my half sister, I would like to start a relationship with her, (my daughter who is 13 and thankfully lives far away) I don't know what I want to do when it comes to you".

Now the "mother" starts calling my father who is 85 yr old, and not in the best health and gets him upset, says how she is going to find my daughter and tell her what a "Dead beat father" I am. I'm sorry but the bitch crossed over the line with the last two.

I have done the obvious, contacted my attorney, filed a police report.

Soooo, I'm asking for input on what to do. Should I meet this so called "daughter"? What!!! HELP ME, HELP ME.

Dazed and Confused

Guess my Grandfather was right when he said... " Son, the only difference between an dog and a fox is a 6 pack"
:confused:

I’m sorry to hear about you being raped.
 

I guess that DOES stay with you. LOL ;)

If this is as I understand it, you should have heard from a COLLECTIONS attorney long before this. It would be interesting to know how the lives of both the mother and daughter have faired over the years.

Today we do have DNA testing that can confirm what your next thoughts may be. (or don’t have to be about) That ½ grand could be well spent.

NOTHING can recreate being a parent. That’s quite different than a blood line. The best that can happen is you build a “special” friendship from here over many years. The worst is that it will be as it’s been.

Good luck and keep us posted. :)

spotnks...

I highly urge you to get the blood test done.. you should have little fear of oweing any back support (it isn't likely at all)... and it will resolve this issue entirely.

I am sorry that one of your flings so long ago resulted in this... it has been my experience (in my line of work) that this isn't rare..

HUGS

go for the blood test and call her bluff when the results come back in your favor sue the physco and have fun

spotnks, Verify with your attorney that meeting with the young lay imputes no liability. Then discuss the advisability of getting a paternity test (both parties must provide verified samples) with your attorney. The police report has initiated a legal process. Ensure that your future behavior does not put you in an actionable position.

Take the blood test, if she is your daughter then start up a relationship with her. If she isn't still be kind to her and still bfreind her, but as far as her mother goes get a restraining order, keep all the notes that she has left and then sue her for slander and possibly get another house out of the deal that you can sell to who ever you want. You have Choices and Rights and she has infringed on them already.. and apparently there is somthing else going on or else she wouldn't have dropped the suit in the first place 23 yrs ago..

But what ever you do...... Follow it thru to the end.... you dont' need any more head ackes.. and if you do find out that she isn't your daughter then her mother has more explaining to do and it will be a hard time for the daughter too..... so you may just want to befreind her either way so that she has some kind of support that her mother isn't going to give her...

Seems like I need to get blood work done. Shit, I hate needles. My screen is moving so I need to go.

Laterz


Thanks again to P-Fanatic (wish I had your job), jseal (I smoked that once... OHHH thats Optimum not.. uh..), 2-4-tea (we need to party, we think to much alike), and last, but by no means least.... the lovely, sexy, eye popping, trouser bulging, If she was president she would be Baberaham Lincoln...... the one, the only (thank you for that)....... jennaflower. (and yes hon, I will weed and trim your garden anytime).

***** disclaimer as of 3/4/03
Sorry folks, with the week I'm having and with the shots of TO-KILL-YA (that's Sammy's Cabo Blue Tequila). Two fingers high, shaken, not stirred.... are start'n to kick in..

YEAH BABY, YEAH..... I feel like chicken tonight..... but don't they say EVERYTHING tastes like chicken. Yah, right, and if frogs had wings they wouldn't drag their butts when they hopped...

OMG... I'm out....Seems like I need to get blood work done. Shit, I hate needles. My screen is moving so I need to go.

Laterz


Thanks again to P-Fanatic (wish I had your job), jseal (I smoked that once... OHHH thats Optimum not.. uh..), 2-4-tea (we need to party, we think to much alike), and last, but by no means least.... the lovely, sexy, eye popping, trouser bulging, If she was president she would be Baberaham Lincoln...... the one, the only (thank you for that)....... jennaflower. (and yes hon, I will weed and trim your garden anytime).

***** disclaimer as of 3/4/03
Sorry folks, with the week I'm having and with the shots of TO-KILL-YA (that's Sammy's Cabo Blue Tequila). Two fingers high, shaken, not stirred.... are start'n to kick in..

YEAH BABY, YEAH..... I feel like chicken tonight..... but don't they say EVERYTHING tastes like chicken. Yah, right, and if frogs had wings they wouldn't drag their butts when they hopped...

OMG... I'm out....Seems like I need to get blood work done. Shit, I hate needles. My screen is moving so I need to go.

Laterz


Thanks again to P-Fanatic (wish I had your job), jseal (I smoked that once... OHHH thats Optimum not.. uh..), 2-4-tea (we need to party, we think to much alike), and last, but by no means least.... the lovely, sexy, eye popping, trouser bulging, If she was president she would be Baberaham Lincoln...... the one, the only (thank you for that)....... jennaflower. (and yes hon, I will weed and trim your garden anytime).

***** disclaimer as of 3/4/03
Sorry folks, with the week I'm having and with the shots of TO-KILL-YA (that's Sammy's Cabo Blue Tequila). Two fingers high, shaken, not stirred.... are start'n to kick in..

YEAH BABY, YEAH..... I feel like chicken tonight..... but don't they say EVERYTHING tastes like chicken. Yah, right, and if frogs had wings they wouldn't drag their butts when they hopped...

OMG... I'm out....Seems like I need to get blood work done. Shit, I hate needles. My screen is moving so I need to go.

Laterz


Thanks again to P-Fanatic (wish I had your job), jseal (I smoked that once... OHHH thats Optimum not.. uh..), 2-4-tea and NS (we think to much a like, and honestly.. It scares the shit out of me... ROFL), and last, but by no means least.... the lovely, sexy, eye popping, trouser bulging, If she was president she would be Baberaham Lincoln...... the one, the only (thank you for that)....... jennaflower. (and yes hon, I will weed and trim your garden anytime).

***** disclaimer as of 3/4/03
Sorry folks, with the week I'm having and with the shots of TO-KILL-YA (that's Sammy's Cabo Blue Tequila). Two fingers high, shaken, not stirred.... are start'n to kick in..

YEAH BABY, YEAH..... I feel like chicken tonight..... but don't they say EVERYTHING tastes like chicken. Yah, right, and if frogs had wings they wouldn't drag their butts when they hopped...

OMG... I'm out....

SHIT!!!!!!!!!. I'm now seeing 4 of everything......

This stuff really works... now it's off to see if I'm able to stop a speeding train.

Hugs ((((Spotnks))))

things will be okay... whether she is your daughter or not... it can't be changed.

Stay away from the tequilla.. specially the blue stuff.. I know from personal experience... bad bad bad stuff... Rofl :)

HUGS again..

note to self.... Never drink the blue stuff and try to stop a train...

I'm off to see if I can leap a tall building in a single bound...

(maybe I need the blue tights cuz this "S" aint doing shit....

ROFL... I think you are chosing the wrong super-hero...

Ahhhhhhhhh.... I bet your right jenna... he downs another shot of his super blue stuff speeds off to that deep dark secret changing area and returns as.......

Nymphoman?

A BIG thanks to everyone that has replied.

Have a great hump day everyone.

Hiya Spotnks,

Ok here is what I would do, First you can't Blame the child because what ever reason its not the childs fault.

Also There are several different ways to get a parternity test, Blood, mouth , and Hair.

You also have to rember if you do this test, and she isn't your daughter the mother will have to pay for it.


What got me is if she was so damn sure you were the Father she shouldn't of backed out, Seems to me she was afaid of being wrong(Slut) Of course she shouldn't of had sex with all kinds of different men. Either.

But if she isn't your daughter you can pretty sure put a slander suite on her ass .

But I would diffently try an get to know the daughter if any thing she is the Victim as much as you are.

I agree with what DragonLady says but . . . I'm adopted, raised with wonderful adoptive parents. I'm looking for my real parents and would never leave notes on their door or any such malarky, spotnks.

It sounds like this obnoxious woman you slept with 24 years ago is to blame.

I feel for you. Good luck.