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-   -   I am confused, please help.. (http://www.pixies-place.com/forums/showthread.php?t=11655)

rocker 01-26-2003 03:49 PM

I am confused, please help..
 
I met a gal over the net and the whole story is here

I really love her but I am quite sure that I CAN'T have her, may be not now. She likes to flirt around and kinda bitchy actually. I want her to be committed to me but she never agreed on that. Whenever I know she is out with other guy, I get jealous like hell and really can't stand the feelings. I thought I can be really generous but now I know I can't do it. (would like to know if someone out there can stand this.)

The problem is, she is coming to my place on 29th. She told me that she wanna be naughty with me and that's not what I want actually. Hope you guys undertstand what I am trying to say and many thanks if someone can help.

Well, what's my question actually?? Te be honest, I really don't know. I know there is a problem but I don't know what it is.

I am sorry if you think my post is wasting your time and it's okay for me if the moderator wants to delete my post. I am so damn confused and I can't even think.

Thanks for your time.

Cheers

Lilith 01-26-2003 07:12 PM

It sounds to me like you want a relationship and she just wants a good time. I did not read the whole story though I must admit......It just sounds like you each are looking for different things!

rocker 01-26-2003 07:17 PM

this is the answer i been searching for..

now i know what should i do.......

thanks Lilith

Lilith 01-26-2003 07:20 PM

Talk to her.......tell her what it is you want from her, ask her what she wants from you. See if you can come to a compromise or if there is just no hope.

Casperr 01-27-2003 04:48 AM

Listen to Lilith! The Galadriel of Pixies - wise, fair, and beautiy beyond belief!

What she said is spot on - you are asking more than she is willing to give. Talk to her, tell her how you feel, but don't be surprised if you end up having a great time on the 29th but then not much more after that.....

CasperTG

rocker 01-30-2003 11:41 AM

there goes my Feb 29th. nothing much happened actually. i still love her. she loves me as much as i love her too. the problem remained unsolve. friends told me that:

what belongs to you, it belongs to you. If it doesn't, it just doesn't..

MasterAragornSting 01-30-2003 05:52 PM

Once upon a time....
 
I went through a situation just like this. Although I'm not near the right person to ask, you asked and so I'll offer advice. I find that in most cases, you can only respect yourself more if you can sit down and talk about things. It helps the situation in most cases because you're clearing the air of all confusion, and getting your feelings into the open. Most girls can respect that. (I think, but you better ask a girl before you quote me on that. ) I am the kind of person that when I feel that something needs to be talked about, I'm open, and completely brutally honest with the person I'm talking to. (I've learned to respect myself more for that, since I first started it.) Anyways- Like I was saying, Talk about it, and afterwords, let me know how it went. I'm rootin' for yas!

Sincerely,
-XXXCHIX



***In other news, Nice "Lord of the Rings" reference about Lil.
I was kinda lol about it.

rocker 01-30-2003 06:02 PM

actually we've discussed about this more than once. i love her, i don't wanna force her. everytime when i tell her how do i feel, she will say: am i bad? i know i am so mean to you. i am so sorry but i just scared of commitment... i love you honey. i really do love you... i am not playing with your feelings. i really want you to be my last man....

rocker 02-01-2003 11:21 AM

i've promised i'll love her forever no matter what,
i've promised i won't leave her no matter what,
i've promised i won't break my promises again no matter what,

but i decided to give up... i don't wanna explain why i wanna do that because i don't want to go through the pain again. thanks for all replies and i really appreciate it.

guess i wont logon here for quite some time, need to settle down my feelings and will be back soon.

thanks again. i will miss you all

Missy1965 02-02-2003 04:16 PM

It takes a long time to really get to know someone for who they really are and even then sometimes you can't be sure. I wouldn't jump into anything to fast if I were you. Take things slow and see what could possibly develop between the two of you. You may meet her and not like her at all. Just relax you can't make someone do what you want them to just because that's what you want. Sometimes it's better to make them want you more. Good luck :)

Member State 02-02-2003 05:54 PM

Hi Rocker. (hope you are still reading / writing)

Long distance relationships can be very difficult (I should know, there's thousands of miles between our relationship) and breed insecurity / jealousy etc. All I can say is ride it out when feelings like this exist. Take time that's all you can do, because there's no way to control everything.

"i've promised i'll love her forever no matter what,
i've promised i won't leave her no matter what,
i've promised i won't break my promises again no matter what,

but i decided to give up..."

Eh???

Wildeye 02-03-2003 05:50 PM

Rocker

This is tough stuff, Lil is right. You have talked and now you need to control your decision. DO NOT WAIT FOR HERS, either decide to accept what she is like or accept to leave the relationship.

good luck

wildeye

Cjack 02-04-2003 12:57 AM

Rocker you have a while to think about this, You have at least a year before Feb 29th comes around.
LOL

rocker 02-04-2003 01:15 PM

miliion thanks for all replies.

i survived.

i took few days off and tried to settle down everything with her but i failed. we're still together because we both know that it's really hard for us to let go each other. this makes me even worse. i can feel my heart is squeezing real hard all the time and it's really weak now. feels like it's going to stop beating at anytime. thanks to my family doctor. she gave me lots of advises and medicines to keep me going until today.

the problems are still there but there is nothing that we can do. just be prepared for the worse, hope for the best.


love shouldn't be like this right?

**It was Jan 29th, sorry..**

Dan99NY 02-11-2003 07:37 PM

Another perspective
 
Once you give a few inches here and there concerning rules ... plan to be shocked and filled with jealousy. It's ok to compromise, however you must be firm with your rules.

You're showing your cards and she is smiling because she has 4 aces. In a nutshell, she's flirting, you're not thinking logically and she knows you're very interested in her. If you are submissive and eager to please her... this means she is in control. Therefore, you can't set any rules. Either you're turned on or still doubtfull of your next move.

If you go with the flow, you might have to accept that she is a flirt. The big questions you must ask is, what do I want? Is it better to have 10% of a flirtatious females time OR stay single for now?

Dan



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