Nursery Rhymes
 

This might be fun ... take an ol' nursery rhyme and alter it a bit to give it a "Pixie" flavor. Can be short or long ... for example:

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
When Jack came down
He had a frown,
Cuz' Jill left with Mad Hatter. :yikes:


or


Here comes Peter Cottontail,
Humping pretty Paulie's tail,
Pumping very quickly and quite fast.

Now he's getting all flushed red,
I think he's 'bout to soak the bed,
Just ain't no way that bunny's gonna' last.

Little Paulie's on the edge,
Moaning there right on the bed,
I think she's drained our Peter's poor ol' mast.

Now the story's almost done,
They're cleaning up the gooey cum,
I suspect, tho', this time will not be their last.

Oh, the entire text of PD Eastman's kids' book, "Snow" is hilarious if you merely replace the word "snow" witht he word "sex".

A couple examples:
"Sex is good for me and you. Men and women. Horses, too."

"Sex is good. It lets you slide. it lets you give your dog a ride."

Old Mother Hubbard,

went to the cupboard to fetch her poor dog a bone.

When she bent over Rover took over.

And gave her a bone of his own.



""stolen" by me lol :o

Jack and Jill went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water.
Jill came down with half a crown
and now she has a daughter.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the Kings horsemen
And all the King's men
Said "Fuck it" and had omelette.

Baa baa black sheep, how long is your polel?
Long enough, long enough to in fit her hole.
Once in my mistress, once in the dame,
And once in that sexy ewe who lives
Down the lane.

Roses are red that much is true,
But violets are purple,
Not fucking blue.





Jack be nimble
Jack be quick
Jack jump over the candlestick
If Jack's so nimble
and Jack's so quick
Why is he in the hospital with a lil burnt dick

Itsy Bitsy spider climbing up her leg,
Down came some moisture, he looked up for the keg,
Then came the creamy stuff and covered all of him
Now he's wrapped in Kleenex and in the garbage bin..

Jack Sprat could eat no fat
His wife could have no lean
Oral sex was not to be and so
they both got mean.... :argue:

Hey, diddle diddle, I had to go piddle,
And I really had to do it quite soon,
But my ornery wife tickled my sides,
And I thought I'd flood the whole room.

Stroke her, stroke her, get her high,
Arch her back up to the sky.
When she cums, then hold her tight,
Warm each other through the night.

Jack be horny
Jack be firm
Jack humped Jill
Behind the berm.

Pat a Boob
 

Pat a boob, pat a boob, horny man,
Squeeze it and massage it fast as you can;
Suck it and lick it and tease it you see,
And it'll be warmed up for your baby ... ME. :D

Mary Mary was with Harry,
Amazed how his package grew ...
She held it just a little bit
And licked it to savor it's dew.

Peter's Peter was called his Dick ..
His wife, though, called it Joe.
That sounded strange .. her simple pet name
Till he found that Joe was her beau.

:yikes:

Slippery, lickery cock,
When stroked it shoots out a lot,
But when she sucks and kisses,
It really gets down to business,
And floods the whole parking lot.

Hey diddle, diddle,
He had to go piddle,
His gal stripped down in their room.
When he came back and saw her,
He dove into her cellar,
And filled her and made her swoon.

A cock in the air
And a pussy on the bed.
Said the pussy " I have no hair,
And you surely have a great head.
Though you maybe be in error,
fuck me it said.

Little Jack's boner,
Stood in the corner,
While Suzie was there chewing gum ...
She slid up and down,
Made a sweet moaning sound,
And squeezed him when he started to cum.

Hickory dickory dock
Some bitch was sucking my cock
The clock struck two
I dumped my goo
and dumped the bitch on the next block.

The Farmer's in Rachel
 

THE FARMER'S IN RACHEL

The farmer’s in Rachel
The farmer’s in Rachel
Going slow in her derriere-o
The farmer’s in Rachel.

His cock slides in real nice
His cock slides in real nice
Going slow in her derriere-o
His cock slides in real nice.

His body’s getting tense
His body’s getting tense
Going slow in her derriere-o
His body’s getting tense.

It suddenly shoots its load
It suddenly shoots its load
Going slow in her derriere-o
It suddenly shoots its load

It floods her with his cum
It floods her with his cum
Going slow in her derriere-o
It floods her with his cum.

Boy was that sure fun
Boy was that sure fun
Going slow in her derriere-o
Boy was that sure fun.

Now he slips softly out
Now he slips softly out
From going slow in her derriere-o
Now he slips softly out.

Old Mother Hubbard went to the cubbard
to fetch her poor dog a bone.
But when she bent over,
Rover took over
And the bitch got a bone of her own!

I love a little pussy

I love a little pussy,
It’s skin is oh so warm,
And if I slip inside it,
She'll share with me her charms.

So I'll lay there between her legs,
And will not drive her soon away,
Cuz' her pussy and I will linger,
And very gently play.

Little bow peep fucked a sheep
blew a horse, licked his feet,
she ate his ass so very nice
tongued his balls not once but twice

Little Boy Blue, she'll blow your horn,
You know little Suzie, she'll keep it all warm.
So take our your cock and give her a peek
She'll empty it's cum by sucking your meat.

Humpty Dumpty fucked a fat whore
Humpty Dumpty fucked her some more
All the kings horses n all the kings men
Bent the bitch over and fucked her again

Wee Winkies Willie

Wee Winkie’s Willie toured the town,
Up town and down town in his night-gown,
Tapping at the window, peeking thru the blinds,
At Suzie undressing and her sweet behind.

"Hey, Winkie’s Willie, why don’t you come in?
I’ve slipped off my panties, so you can get in!
My legs are spread wide and my bum is held high,
You can see my breasts heaving and hear my soft sighs.”

“Take that hard willie, that glistens so bright,
Pulsing and stretching, it’s a true girls delight!,
Stick it in and move it, that rigid ol’ cock,
Make me groan and push, my cherry defrock!”

"Hey, Winkie’s Willie, you I can feel,
Wriggling and pushing like a horny ol’ eel.
Don’t stop, Winkie’s Willie, until at last you share some,
Of that creamy lush lotion, that fertile white cum.”

“Now in my tummy, it’ll slosh round a bit,
Seeking an egg … you can fertilize it!
Then in my belly, a baby will be,
Willie’s own special gift to lil’ ol’ me.”

Little miss muffet sat on her tuffet
With her legs open wide
Down came a spider
Look right inside her
and said damn that pussy's wide.

Mary Screwed Her Hubby Sam
 

Mary Screwed Her Hubby Sam

Mary screwed her hubby Sam with a dildo white as snow,
She liked to lube his clean shaved ass where soon the shaft would go.
Of course her hubby went along, he really didn’t mind,
In fact he almost came too fast when she messed with his behind.

So first thing in the morning, and, last thing then at night,
He’d assume the position … it was quite a sexy sight,
She’d get out the KY-Gel and rub it all around,
She knew he loved her doing this from his soft and gentle sounds.

His cock would become rigid, and point down to the floor,
She’d start her dildo's entry, he’d moan, “Please give me more.”
So she'd push it in and pull it out and watch how it would slide,
And with one hand she’d reach around, and stroke his now hard pride.

Then with a cry, he’d soon let go,
His milky cum would splatter so.
Mary would shout, “If but I could,
In you I would plant Red Riding Hood.”

Then they'd collapse in a tangle, to the floor they would fall,
Their energy spent , they were exhausted and all.
As she lay there on hubby, she was still on top,
He would whisper softly to her, “I sure love you … a lot!”

Roses are red.
Nuts are round.
Skirts go up.
Panties go down.
Belly to belly.
Skin to skin.
When it's stiff,
stick it in.

Betty Betty Moist and Ready
 

Betty Betty Moist and Ready

Betty, Betty, moist and ready,
Look how you made him grow.
When you see his pre-cum you say, “Oh yum,”
it looks like you’re ready to sow”

There once was a girl by the name of Kim
She had a Guy by the name of Jim
Big fat balls and a hairy long dick
Stuck it down her throat and made her sick
She gagged and puked and gagged some more
Yes sir e she is a whore
Big fat tits and a hairy cunt to boot
If you don't watch it she will set on your snoot
Suck your head right up her twat
Her ass is as big as a parking lot
She died at the age of 26
Because she like to suck those dicks.

Old Mother Hubbard,
Looked at his scabbard …
And dreamed of sucking his bone.
Unzipping his pants
She started to dance,
It jumped out, all moist and it shone!

Humpty Dumpty sat on the bed
Little Bo Peep was giving him head
As he came, she started to weep
She could tell by the taste he'd been shagging her sheep.

Sing a Song of Sixpence
 

Sing a song of sixpence where Betty stripped and lay,
Letting four and twenty hung dudes hump her in the hay.
When the guys were done, then, Betty began to sing,
“Bring me another twenty, and I’ll make their dongs go ding.”
The new guys lined up horny, and gave her the money, too,
A sight like this you’ve never seen, Betty bathed in goo.
When they were done, they were quite pooped,
Their cocks, they kind of drooped.
But Betty never lost her smile and seemed so full of joy,
She’d made enough to take a trip, thanks to all her boys.

Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie
Jerked off in his girl friends eye
When her eye was dry and shut
Georgie fucked that one-eyed slut.

Hot Soft Bum
 

Hot soft bum! Hot soft bum!
One a penny two a penny - Hot soft bum
Come up behind your lady and pump in her some cum
One a penny two a penny - Hot soft bum

Little Jack Horner

Sat in a corner

Rubbing Miss Susie’s thigh

When he felt a fur patch

And stuck his thumb up her snatch

He found that Miss Susie was dry.

Tinkle, Tinkle Little Cock
 

Tinkle, tinkle little cock,
I've got to leave ... please, won't you stop?
I came early ... and I've stayed late,
I just had to piss ... wasn't on a date.
So, please, I ask, let's piss no more,
I've gone so long it might get sore.
At last your ending, thanks a bunch,
I started early and it's almost lunch.
I must admit ... I am glad it was you,
I would really hate it if it was a Number Two. :yikes:

Jack be nimble,
Jack be quick,
But Jill prefers,
The candlestick.