question about relationships
 

Hello all, I have a question about relationships. But first a little about myself

Im a 20 year old male, I consider myself a good looking guy, smart in some areas. Not really book smart but I m good with my hands. Ive had a total of like 3 relationships in my life this would be the third, Im so happy in it right now, I have considered the idea of moving in with my GF that lives 2020 miles away in IL. Now I have a strong sex drive but I wouldnt go as far as to be called an addict of sex. My GF does love ideas of things(sexual thoughts) that I could do to her. So my question is... Can you have too much sex? Kinda sounds silly but I do hope to get some serious replys. I love this relationship to much to screw it up because of me. Thanks everyone.

My opinion has always been that "too much" of anything is when it interferes with a healthy way of living your life. If needing/wanting sex (or anything for that matter) prompts you to make destructive or dangerous decisions, some reconsideration of priorities & evaluation of the path you're going down may be a good idea.

I wouldnt go as far as to make any "destructive or dangerous decisions" I m not worried that im not a good lover because she loves me as I her. I just kinda wonder can sex like 4-5 times a week be too much? I dont know maybe im just being a worried fella, as I said I wouldn't want to screw anything up.

There could be a chance you eventually desensitize yourself but it's probably unlikely.

you mean stop being so sensitive on myself? Like let things happen naturally?

I think Lil was meaning that there's a possibility that if you have loads of sex, you may become harder and harder to stimulate sexually, to the point where you're not bothered about having sex anymore. However, I agree that that's unlikely.

Personally I'd love to be having sex four or five times a week - I don't think that's too much, if it's right for both of you.

This comment worries me a tad. I believe trying to change your own behavior to suit someone else is ultimately destructive to a relationship. Eventually your desire to be yourself will build up inside you and you will either continue to bury it, causing resentment, or possibly go overboard with whatever trait you are trying to conceal for the sake of the relationship. I personally think sex 4-5 times a week would be great. When I first dated my wife that was actually pretty common for us and I believe that most relationships enjoy an abundance of sex in the beginning.

Now, going back to WI's comment on too much of anything... I think he is right. You need to be yourself in the relationship, but if you are overly obsessive about one particular thing it might be a good idea to get some counseling. I'm not saying you need to, as I don't know much about you, but I'm saying this in correlation with my statement about being yourself. If being yourself involves drinking yourself to sleep every night (for example) that is not going to be healthy for a relationship, or yourself for that matter. Or someone might spend hours a day playing video games online, tuning out those around them. Those are just two examples of taking an activity to the extreme. Ok, sorry, that's enough rambling... just take a good honest look at yourself before making any decisions.

Good luck!

Have you talked about this with her? When you do have visits ...is it an all sex visit? Maybe ask her what she expects for sex when you move in. Just let it happen naturaly. If she's not in the mood and you need to get off, will she mind if you do yourself?

Sorry ..just my :cents:

Go with the flow dude! Don't worry so much!

Thanks Sodak I always do try and go with the flow of things but this is the first time i have ever moved in with someone and no she doesnt mind me playing with myself. Aqua, I m not trying to change myself an anyway shape or form, I have a beautiful smart women that kicks my ass and doesnt mind me kicking back. I'm just saying that I've seen people that have became a sex addict and sometimes I will worry that I will become one myself. In my eyes I don't want a relationship just based off of sex.I like to travel, meet new people, go to movies...and so on. As Sodak said I should try not to worry. Im thinking its just the jitters before a big move like this.

You're probably right. It's a big move to make, and not just in the sense of how far you will travel.

Take one day at a time after you move in......and remember communication is a must. Take a deep breath each day and clear your mind. Enjoy the things you like to do together.

Oh and I don't think sex 4-5 times a week is too much......now if you wanted it 5 times a day everyday....well that may be too much!! LOL

lol thank you sodak and to everyone that answered back, I really am thankful :)

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I read 4-5 times a day :D doh!!!!!

OHHH MYYYY GOSHHHHHHH......

Wile the idea of moving in with the GF is always exciting and such you need to ask yourself a more Important question................

ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO LEAVE CALIF. FOR ILLINOIS???

I mean come on......sunshine for Illinois Weather????
We have four seasons here....cold, snow, Road Construction and OH MY GOD it is hot!!!!

Just Joking. However I agree with the other posters. You have to have great communication, enjoy a number of other activities besides sex and just let things happen as they may. Following your heart is fine but just make sure your head (and not the little head) is involved .

Lol yes scribe im very sure that I want to move to IL because I have so much strong feelings for my GF and to tell you the truth Sacramento gets just as hot here as it will there :-p

I think the "too much sex" question has a lot to do with the "why." It's possible to be so connected with someone that you feel like you "can't get enough" of each other and the sex becomes an ultimate intimacy (if done right LOL).

On the other hand, it's possible for sex to become an escape - or even sex for sex's sake... neither of which are horrible on occasion.

Its only too much sex if its too much for either one of you. If you both want it 6 times a week, then that is not too much but just right. If one of you wants it only 4 times a week, then 6 becomes to much. Hmmmm.... am I making any sense? LOL.
In other words, talk to each other and find out what your both comfortable with. And continue talking cause it may change to more or less due to stress, health, whatever.
Good communication skills are probably the best thing you can bring to any relationship.

Good luck. :)

It doesnt matter anymore I broke up with her, long story. she didnt want to have any communication with me yesterday, she fought with me, and just threw me over the edge what she did

Oh hun ((((((((((hugs)))))))))))

We're all here if you need a shoulder to cry on.

xxx

she said I was annoying, and I aggree with everyone here that communication is the key to a relationship, I tried to talk with her all she said is she didn't want to talk about it anymore, that threw me over the edge, I mean if its like this now how would of it beenn if I was there. I didnt do anything wrong, im on the phone with her now :-( i feel sick.