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osuche 11-03-2003 06:17 PM

Trolling for Sex
 
I am curious...since I have never done this myself... (really!)

Scenario:

You're out at a bar (alone) just to have an evening of fun, maybe meet some new people. Let's say you're traveling, and you know no one in town. You're sitting at the bar, talking to the bartender and anyone else around... And a (relatively) attractive member of the opposite sex approaches you.

Question:

Under what circumstances would you have a one night stand with this (attractive) person who is chatting you up? What would your criteria be, and how would you assess the person?

Steph 11-03-2003 06:19 PM

Under any circumstances! That was definitely the case in my younger years when I wasn't dating anyone. As long as I was intellectually stimulated by the person, I was good to go!

paprclphd 11-03-2003 06:28 PM

Ok - that is a tough one. If it was in a town where I knew no one and I felt that I could get away with it I just might have a one night stand, provided that the dude was good enough to warrant cheating.

Of course, I would be the one to get all the way to the hotel and get naked and then chicken out because I love my SO to much to waste him away on something like a barfly!

jennaflower 11-03-2003 07:38 PM

well... I "believe" I would... I say believe because I wouldn't know for sure unless the opportunity presented itself... and for many reasons I doubt it ever would... but for the sake of arguement IF it were to happen....

1) The deciding factor would be whether I had condoms in my bag :) LOL

2) He would certainly have to have a nice smile... since that is what would catch my attention first..

3) He would have to have a great sense of humor... (For many reasons)

4) There would have to be a "spark"... spoken.. or unspoken between us before I could even allow myself to fantasize about it..

lakritze 11-03-2003 07:47 PM

Sooner or later,I would get around to asking if she was a Pixie lass.If so.....The night is young babe.

BigBear57 11-03-2003 08:40 PM

LOL The one time I can remember being approached I was so surprised I babbled incoherently and she wandered off shaking her head. I suck at surprise meetings for the most part. I do OK if I can get started but the sudden pressure of trying to be witty on demand hangs me up. If I were to manage I guess she'd have to be witty, patient, playful and promise to swallow. ROFL

Lilith 11-03-2003 09:12 PM

Not me...if I am going to cheat, it's gonna be with someone I crave so bad that I am willing to take the risk.

Navarre 11-03-2003 09:56 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Steph
Under any circumstances! That was definitely the case in my younger years when I wasn't dating anyone. As long as I was intellectually stimulated by the person, I was good to go!


Steph just said it all for me.

PantyFanatic 11-03-2003 10:18 PM

I don't spend much time sitting at the bar any more, but in what i think of as my reptilian tavern days:D, (lounge lizard;) ) I had stringent requirements myself. Especially when traveling.

1. She'd have to say hi.

2. She'd have to be able to sit on her stool unaided.

OK-:o No. 2 depended on how late it was. :rolleyes:

musicman 11-03-2003 11:46 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Lilith
Not me...if I am going to cheat, it's gonna be with someone I crave so bad that I am willing to take the risk.


agreed Lil....

Vullkan 11-03-2003 11:52 PM

hmmmmmm. Well having no emotional attactments so it is possible.

I think personality weights more of a factor then anything. I love a good smile. And a good wit has a great affect on me. Of course my eye would be drawn to how she presents herself. For sure there is no absolute way to tell but if she takes care of herself the odds of some disease are somewhat less.

But truthfully if such a perfect night befell me, I think I would have just as good a time talking and laughing with her as to bring her to a motel.

quisath 11-04-2003 01:03 AM

Only if I desired her ................... I'm very Picky! Looks have Nothing to do with it either.

Eros 11-04-2003 01:16 PM

I'm gonna jump on Steph's bandwagon also...

WildIrish 11-04-2003 01:30 PM

I'm with Lil on this one, too.

If I cheat, it's gonna be worth it!

TerrieFaz 11-04-2003 04:45 PM

I hope he has teeth lol and not look like Charlie Manson

Steph 11-04-2003 06:06 PM

And of course, my answer was based on me being single. I'm bad but not that bad!

Wildeye 11-04-2003 06:41 PM

Ohh

I'm in love with SO, but would like to flirt, but only if humour and brain were working.

have been approached in a bar and left without her - she was gorgeous and lovely, but she had enough problems and was not after sex but was after attention, parents were utterly shit and she wanted someone to talk with, but thought that sex was communication.

so girly from ku klub sunderland - if you are reading i'm sorry but i was too dumb to be your analyst.

wildeye

kinda grieving

rabbit 11-04-2003 08:24 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Lilith
Not me...if I am going to cheat, it's gonna be with someone I crave so bad that I am willing to take the risk.


Ditto...

GusAspar 11-06-2003 08:35 AM

In all my fantasies, we would go back to her/my room and shag each other's brains out, but in R/L it doesn't seem to happen. (Sobs in his beer...)

osuche 11-09-2003 04:11 PM

Thank you for all the responses. It was intersting to see the different perspectives. I'm trying to come up with a good set of criteria myself...

At the end of the day. I think I respect myself too much to actually do it...but on a visceral level I'd sure love to try.

celticangel 11-09-2003 05:52 PM

only had one experiance where I met and slept with a guy on the same day. It was during a difficult time in my life and I probably was not "of sound mind"~~~~~~but hind sight is always 20/20 vision. It was an "affermation"~~~nothing more and nothing less. we stayed in touch for a while, but neither of us were able to take the relationship (over statement!) to any level.

I was with Dm for aprrox6 weeks before we were "physical"and, I am glad we took our time~~~~love making up for lost time wit him!!!!!!!!!!!

SuzyQ 11-09-2003 07:23 PM

I used to have one night stands a lot in my early 20's. Not sure what I would do now if I was approached in a bar and I was alone. (not likely to happen, being alone in a bar). I did meet two guys off the net..they were both disasters, and one women, which was not...

osuche 02-08-2004 08:40 PM

**bump**

We have some new members, who may want to "weigh in"

Divine 07-16-2004 06:15 PM

I think I would as well but until I'm actually put into the situation I'll never know. for absolute sure. Much like you osuche I definitely like the thought, however, the act might be a bit difficult.

darogle 07-16-2004 06:33 PM

Has never happened to me, so I'd probably die of shock! LOL

After I regained composure, I'd probably be like Steph. If she had something to offer by way of wit, intelligence and personality, then we'd be off to knock boots!

If I were not in a relationship, of course!

XX-Access 07-16-2004 08:33 PM

I would ask her where she left the dog and the stick.

Mackenzie 07-17-2004 09:25 AM

I've never went home with a stranger. I don't think I ever could. Even if I were single, I think I'd just get his number and call him for a dinner date first.

sweetlady 07-17-2004 10:17 AM

I wouldn't. I had a one night stand once in a situation much like this. The sex was akward and even though he did many things "right" as far as what most women like, he didn't know me and my body. I learned my lesson then... a man that knows my own personal preferences, even if not as instantly "wooo whooo" as a don juan stranger is 100x better in bed. And if the sex isn't earth shattering, then it's just not worth it. Mediocre, clumsy sex was okay when I was 19. Now I want it the way I want it, and I want to know how to bring my partner right along with me, without wondering if I'm doing it "right."

Wicked Wanda 07-17-2004 12:34 PM

Since more and more I seem to be the "official" Pixie's slut, I will weigh in on this.

"Wanda's Guide to Meeting and Fucking/Having Sex with People in Bars"

I meet and bed (ok, sometimes we never get near an actual bed, but you know what I mean) people I meet at random places like bars and such all the time.
I am not lacking in self respect. I am very succesful, essentially single woman, and PREFER to have this life.
(I have a LIFE, dammit, not a "lifestyle")
I have more bar encounters with other women than with men, (again, my preference) but I do happily meet and fuck men I meet in bars all the time!!
I am also very choosy.
What do I look for?
I am interested in first, a strong sense of personal hygiene.
If you don't bath, brush and groom regularly, forget it!! Smelling good helps too! (Clean teeth, mouthwash, perfume, cologne, a nice but not overpowering after shave... it helps to feed ALL the senses!)
Dress.
Try to dress with some sense of style. A sleevless LA Laker's jersy and long shorts, dirty runners, and a backwards baseball cap are not date wear. (Except a Saturday "after an outdoor Jazz Fest show beer stop, but not a Saturday night in a nice place). The other side of this is don't be too self -absorbed. Most of us are not attracted to men who spend more time picking out clothes and doing skin and hair care then we do. Checking out your reflexion in the mirror behind bar in the middle of a conversation is just tacky, no matter if you are a man or a woman.
For women seeking other women, don't forget that your dress is a statement of WHO you are looking for. Cut -off shorts and a cropped tank top make a certain statement to other women (yummm!!!) as do jeans and a t-shirt with a hard -pack rolled up in the sleeve. *Yummmm too**
Next comes manners. And RESPECT.
If you are an oaf or silly twit who thinks the world is all about you, again, FORGET IT!!! Have a two way conversation. Listen to what we say, and ask questions, remember the answers. Women are very good at detecting the sleezes who ask questions, nod at the answers, and forget what we said right away. Ask us what we would like to drink. Don't order for us, unless we ask you to. I never do, but I have friends who do.
We LOVE it when a man stands when you leave or return to the table!!!! Hold doors open for us. I open doors for others if I am in the right spot to do so. It is not a sign of " I think you are helpless" it is a sign of manners and respect.
Intellegence.
Read something dammit!!!! And be able to talk about it.
If in the middle of the conversation you make a comment like "I love to read the 'Bell Jar' over and over" and then LISTEN to what WE have to say about Sylvia Plath, ...YATZEEE!!!!
(But I really don't necessarly want to hear all the deatils of your Master's Thesis on "Cultural Diversity in Russian Literature". My Papa' was a Professor of Literature, and I have heard a lot of it already. But if you want to suggest that too many Woman authors were overlooked in the 19th Century, I might want to listen.)
Try to talk in full, meaningful sentences.
"Eminem is so yuh' know, ouda here, and rad, 'n so bad!!!!!" (a actual quote, by the way)
At that point I am off to the Women's room, and after I throw up, I am looking for a window to climb out of.
Dance.
Ask her to dance. I love to dance. Most women do. Dancing can be a prelude to something else. MAYBE.
"vibes" (my partner's word)
A night of dancing, drinking, and even a little light making out is not a sign that you are going to "get some" tonight.
Sex is My Choice, and sometimes the feeling just isn't right. My life, my body, MY CHOICE!!!
I am not a tease. I know there are women who are, and I am sorry they hurt you, but that's life. Get over it.
Accept a polite "NO" with grace, and a smile. Sometimes how well you react to "goodnight" results in my having a different feeling about you next time we meet. It's not a test, it just makes me think.
And sometimes after a some chatting, some drinking, kissing, and touching, I will rock your world!

Wickedly, Intensely Sexual,

Wanda

osuche 07-17-2004 12:39 PM

WW ~ Thank you for the thoughtful reply. If I did do such a thing, I'd have similar criteria. I like your style! :D

sodaklostsoul 07-17-2004 12:46 PM

AMEN to that Wanda!!!!!!


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