Quotes to live by...
 

Just came across several quotes... thought... in my boredom and all I would share :)

Here goes:

"The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting."
-Gloria Leonard

"There's no shortage of pussy- it's just the delivery system that's messed up."
-Dr. Roy V. Schenk

"When the lights are out, all women are beautiful."

"Personally I know nothing about sex because I have always been married."
-Zsa Zsa Gabor

"It's all this cold-hearted fucking that is death and idiocy."
-D.H. Lawrence

"He who asks is a fool for 5 minutes, but he who does not remains a fool forever."
-Chinese Proverb

"It is not true that sex degrades women... if it is any good."
-Alan Partridge

"Sex is like a bridge game; if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand."

"Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps."
-Emo Phillips

"Chastity is curable, if detected early."

"The penis mightier than the sword."
-Mark Twain

"If you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast."

"Sex is dirty only if it's done right."
-Woody Allen

"Sex-appeal is the keynote of our whole civilization."
-Henri Bergson

"No sex is better than bad sex."
-Germaine Greer

"My husband's German. Every night I get dressed up as Poland and he invades me."
-Bette Midler

"Give a man free hands, and you'll know where to find them."
-Mae West

"The art of life lies in taking pleasures as they pass, and the keenest pleasures are not intellectual, nor are they always moral."
-Aristippus

"Proof is arbitrary... unless we're talking about sexual gratification."

"Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry, stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie."
-William Shakespeare

"It's the good girls that keep the diaries; the bad girls never have the time."
-Tallulah Bankhead

"Give me chastity and continence- but not yet."
-Saint Augustine

"Play with each other. Play with yourselves. Just don't play with the squirrels, they bite."

"I'd like to meet the person who invented sex and see what they're working on now."

"Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy."
-Groucho Marx

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation... The other eight are unimportant."
-Henry Miller

"If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?"
-Bette Midler

"If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter."
-George Carlin

"In the nineteenth century masturbation was a disease; in the twentieth, it is a cure."

"Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin- it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring."
-S. J. Perelman

"It's been so long since I made love, I can't even remember who gets tied up."
-Joan Rivers

"From the moment I was six I felt sexy. And let me tell you it was hell, sheer hell, waiting to do something about it."
-Bette Davis

"Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got."
-Sophia Loren

"Every so often, I try to masturbate a large word into conversation, even if I'm not really sure what it means."

"The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette."

"Sex multiplies the possibilities of desire."

"Cunnilingus is next to godliness."
-Kali Nichta

"The web is a dominatrix. Every where I turn, I see little buttons ordering me to Submit."
-Nytwind

"I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic."
-Woody Allen

"The brain is viewed as an appendage of the genital glands."
-Carl Jung

"My brain is my second favorite organ." -Woody Allen

"Apparently one can temporarily sterilize oneself by heating one's organs in boiling water."
-Annonymous British Teenager

"Some things are better than sex, some things are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it."
-W. C. Fields

"No one has ever died from an overdose of pornography."
-J. Money and P. Tucker

"It'll be a sad day for sexual liberation when the pornography addict has to settle for the real thing."
-Brendan Francis

"A man must be potent and orgasmic to ensure the future of the race. A woman only needs to be available."
-Masters and Johnson

"Healthy, lusty sex is wonderful."
-John Wayne

"I have brains and a uterus, and I use both."
-Pat Schroeder

"Sexual intercourse is kicking death in the ass while singing."
-Charles Bukowski

"Censorship reflects society's lack of confidence in itself."
-Potter Stewart

"It is better to be unfaithful than to be faithful without wanting to be."
-Brigitte Bardot

"An erection at will is the moral equivalent of a valid credit card."
-Alex comfort

"Sex is emotion in motion."
-Mae West

"I consider sex a misdemeanor, the more I miss, de meaner I get."
-Mae West

"Masturbation is like procrastination, it's all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself."

"Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn't leave something that can be traced back to you."

"Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer."

"I am a man of few words and a thousand obscene gestures."


and FINALLY....

"The angle of the dangle is equally proportional to the heat of the meat provided that the urge to surge remains constant."

These are great.So many famous people's comments on our favourite subject.

You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.
--Barbara DeAngelis

'strength and honor'

gladiator. ;)

My favorites...........(I had to scroll back alot to get these...lol!)



Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps."
-Emo Phillips (OMG! I can just hear him saying that in that voice of his...lmfao!)


"I'd like to meet the person who invented sex and see what they're working on now." (here, here!!!!)


Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy."
-Groucho Marx


Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got."
-Sophia Loren



Every so often, I try to masturbate a large word into conversation, even if I'm not really sure what it means." (ROFLMFAO!!!!!.....Oh gawd that's funny!)


Apparently one can temporarily sterilize oneself by heating one's organs in boiling water."
-Annonymous British Teenager (Thank goodness he tried it and let us know!!! YIKES!)

These were wonderful jenna...TY!

"In America sex is an obsession,in other parts of the world it is a fact." Marlene Dietrich

--Think not that you can direct the coarse of love itself directs the coarse allowed -- Jason Mraz

Any fool with a dick can make a baby, but only a real man can raise his children ~ Furious Styles

"Love is like an exploding cigar we willingly smoke." Lynda Barry

"Absence diminishes a mediocre passion and augments a great one. Like the wind blows out the candle and lights the fire." - Unknown

"Spouse, n: Someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single in the first place." - Unknown found in Andy Cannon's ([email protected]) .signature

"I have a simple philosophy. Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. And scratch where it itches." ~ Alice Roosevelt Longworth

"Between the two evils, I always pick the one I never tried." ~ Mae West

"Women may be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake entire relationships." ~ Sharon Stone

"When you have no problems, you're dead." ~ Zelda Werner

What a great collection.

So sad some of them are so negative.

Still, however, worth the chuckle.

"A pinch of fear is good for sex,like salsa on your enchilada.But downright fear ,spoils the meat." Dr.Susan Block

There are 3 perfect shapes in the world.A boat's hull,a violin and a woman's body..... Jean Varda

"If God made anything better than sex, He kept it for Himself".
- my mate

Basic research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing. - Werner von Braun

I can resist everything except temptation. - Oscar Wilde

I like long walks especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. - Fred Allen

Forgive your enemies but never forget their names. - John F. Kennedy

If the desire to kill and the opportunity to kill came always together who would escape hanging? - Mark Twain

I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him. - Mark Twain

The human brain working starts the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public. - Sir George Jessel

The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without
losing heart.

-- R.G. Ingersoll (1833-1899)

Nothing is more endangered in the modern world than the powerful
combination of hard work toward meaningful goals joined with an
exuberant embrace of the present moment.

-- Tom Morris