1140 -- Andy Rooney On Grandma

My grandmother has a bumper sticker on her car that says, 'Sexy Senior Citizen.' You don't want to think of your grandmother that way, do you? Out entering wet shawl contests. Makes you wonder where she got that dollar she gave you for your birthday.

1141 -- Andy Rooney On Answering Machines

Did you ever hear one of these corny, positive messages on someone's answering machine? "Hi, it's a great day and I'm out enjoying it right now. I hope you are too. The thought for the day is 'share the love.' Beep." "Uh, yeah...this is the VD clinic calling.... Speaking of being positive, your test results are back. Stop sharing the love."

1142 -- So long and thanks for all the fish

1144

1145........

1147.....she dont eat meat but she sure likes the bone.....ROCK

1149 checking in

Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery.

1150

1152

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

1153

A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.

1154

My girlfriend really likes to make pottery, but to me it's just kiln time.