"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it and the frog generally dies as a result." -- E. B. White

975

Love is the distance between reality and pain. -- Robin Hitchcock

976

977...

"Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers." -- Voltaire

...978...

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." -- Benjamin Franklin, Historical Review of Pennsylvania, 1759

#978

Like your new avatar MT;)

thanks PF...

PSE edit the post above to be "979"

this one is 980

"I watched a small man with thick calluses on both hands work fifteen and sixteen hours a day. I saw him once literally bleed from the bottoms of his feet, a man who came here uneducated, alone, unable to speak the language, who taught me all I needed to know about faith and hard work by the simple eloquence of his example." -- Mario Cuomo

~~~981~~~

Lixy, if you can edit below to be 982 and we should be back on track...

#981
Adjust the numba's!

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. -- Abraham Lincoln

983

984...

985...

TOP 10 THINGS THAT PISS ME OFF

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.
I know where my watch is, buddy ... where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is, dipshit? I didn't think so.

2. The Pillsbury Doughboy is way too happy, considering that
he doesn't have a dick.

3. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire
room for the damn TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change it manually.

4. When people say, "Oh, you just want to have your cake and eat it, too." Back off, spanky. What good is a damn piece of cake if you can't eat it? What should I do ... eat someone else's piece of cake instead? Selfish prick.

5. When people say, "It's always the last place you look." No shit, Sherlock. Why the hell would you keep looking for it after you've already found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Why aren't they in treatment?

6. When people say, while watching a movie, "Did you see that?"
No, dicknose, I paid $7.50 to come to a theater and stare at the
ceiling up there. What did you come here for?

7. People who ask, "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give
me a choice there, did ya buddy?

8. When something is "New &Improved". Which is it? If it's
new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

9. When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast
you were going. You should know, asshole, you're the one that pulled me over.

And here's the tenth thing that really bugs me:

10. Chain letters! Who the hell thinks that by annoying other people with stupid mail with no meaning, that you will be granted a wish, or make your long-lost love fall into your arms, or have your significant other perform oral sex on demand. It's all bullshit! I'm so sure that by breaking a stupid chain letter that the computer gods are going to curse me. Oh, the terror and horror. What a crock of shit.


(I have myself covered tho posting it here) :)

[edit] all fixed now...

that makes this post "986"....

HOLD the post for a sec! please

want to check the count
we should have No 1 K be correct

#986

988... my post at 985 was correct (been doing this straight for an hour now)

#991


My posts was listed as #987

Plus the one that started the thread mad it No. 988

(double check by counting from the one I aske to hold at. That was #988)