:thumb:

One day in the future, Barack Obama has a heart-attack and dies.


He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.



"I don't know what to do here," says the devil.

"You are on my list, but I have no room for you.
You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to
do. I've got a couple of folks here who weren't quite as bad as you.
I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place.

I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."



Obama thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened
the door to the first room.

In it was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water.

Ted kept diving in, and surfacing, empty handed.

Over, and over, and over he dived in and surfaced with nothing. Such was his fate in hell.

"No," Obama said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer, and
I don't think I could do that all day long."



The devil led him to the door of the next room.
In it was Al Gore with a sledge-hammer and a room full of rocks.
All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.

"No, this is no good; I've got this problem with my shoulder.
I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks
all day," commented Obama.



The devil opened a third door.
Through it, Obama saw Bill Clinton, lying on the bed, his arms tied over his head, and his legs restrained in a spread-eagle pose.

Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.

Obama looked at this in shocked disbelief, and finally said, "Yeah
man, I can handle this."

The devil smiled and said...........

(This is priceless...)






"OK, Monica, you're free to go."

There's a sucker born every minute.

Are they all named Monica?

They can be, if you really want.

A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a quite pretty teenage girl about to jump off a bridge - so they stopped.

The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?" "I'm going to commit suicide," she says.

He wants to distract her so he says the first thing that pops into his head. "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a blow job? At least you go out with a nice memory, eh?" She thinks for a moment as then she gives him a long, deep lingering blow.

After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best suck I have ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."

When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnnie's family were invited over to see the baby, but before they left their house, Little Johnnie's dad had a talk with him and explained that the new baby had no ears.

His dad also told him that if he so much mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears, or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home.

Little Johnnie told his dad he understood completely. When Johnnie looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby."

The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnnie.

Johnnie said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see well?"

"Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision."

"That's great", said Little Johnnie,"coz he'd be buggered if he needed glasses".

Even More Puns

1. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head'

2. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

3. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

4. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

5. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

6. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

7. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

8. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

9. A backward poet writes inverse.

10. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

11. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

12. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

I love the cannibalism one. Put a smile on my face.

Yes, but they won't eat clowns.

Those were all cute, Boog! Thanks, I needed a good chuckle.

Failure is to succeed at things that do not even count!
 

The English language has some wonderfully anthropomorphic collective nouns for the various groups of animals.

We are all familiar with a Herd of cows, a Flock of chickens, a School of fish and a Gaggle of geese.

However, less widely known is a Pride of lions, a Murder of crows (as well as their cousins the rooks and ravens), an Exaltation of doves and, presumably because they look so wise, a Parliament of owls.

Now consider a group of baboons. They are the loudest, most dangerous, most obnoxious, most viciously aggressive and least intelligent of all primates. And what is the proper collective noun for a group of baboons?

Believe it or not ……. a Congress!

I guess that pretty much explains the things that come out of Washington …

count!




The English language has some wonderfully anthropomorphic collective nouns for the various groups of animals.

We are all familiar with a Herd of cows, a Flock of chickens, a School of fish and a Gaggle of geese.

However, less widely known is a Pride of lions, a Murder of crows (as well as their cousins the rooks and ravens), an Exaltation of doves and, presumably because they look so wise, a Parliament of owls.

Now consider a group of baboons. They are the loudest, most dangerous, most obnoxious, most viciously aggressive and least intelligent of all primates. And what is the proper collective noun for a group of baboons?

Believe it or not ……. a Congress!

I guess that pretty much explains the things that come out of Washington …

The Princess
 

Once upon a time there lived a king. The king had a beautiful daughter, The PRINCESS..

But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt.

No matter what;

Metal,

Wood,

Stone,

Anything she touched would melt.

Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her.

The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter?

He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the king, 'If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured.'

The king was overjoyed and came up with a plan.

The next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter
an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the king's wealth...

THREE YOUNG PRINCES TOOK UP THE CHALLENGE.

The first brought a sword of the finest steel.

But alas, when the princess touched it, it melted. The prince went away sadly .

The second prince brought diamonds.

He thought diamonds are the hardest substance in the world and would not melt. But alas, once the princess touched them, they melted.

He too was sent away disappointed.

The third prince approached. He told the princess, 'Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there.'

The princess did as she was told, though she turned red .

She felt something hard. She held it in her hand.

And it did not melt!!!

The king was overjoyed. Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed.

And the third prince married the princess and they both lived happily ever after.

Question: What was in the prince's pants?











M&M's of course.

They melt in your mouth, not in your hand. What were you thinking??

I STILL WORRY ABOUT YOU SOMETIMES!!!!

Words Of Wisdom
 

1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. :thumbs:

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong. :thumbs:

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left..

7.. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. :thumbs:

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station. :)

11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. :thumbs:

14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

21. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

The Simple Truth
 

Got these from IRISH and thought they were cute.

SIMPLE TRUTH 1

Partners help each other undress before sex.
However after sex, they always dress on their own.

Moral of the story:
In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.

SIMPLE TRUTH 2

When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and saying "congrats".

But, none of them come and touch the man's penis and say "Good job".

Moral of the story:
"Hard work is never appreciated”

No Underwear - Makes Sense to Me

A man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch in the rocking chair wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down.

'Grandpa, what are you doing? Your weenie is out in the wind for everyone to see!' he exclaimed.

The old man looked off in the distance without answering.

'Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?' he asked again.

The old man slowly looked at him and said,

'Well....last week I sat out here with no shirt on and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma's idea.'

:D

Good ones, DB and Irish.

British Humor - Politically Incorrect
 

More good humor from Irish.

=====

I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair but, by turning to
religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted
to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning!

-----------------------------------------------------------

The wife suggested I get myself one of those dick enlargers, so I did....she's
21 and her name's Lucy.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were
shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my girlfriend is
21 and I'm 50. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Following the tragic death of the Human Cannonball at the Kent Show, a
spokesman said "We'll struggle to get another man of the same calibre."

-----------------------------------------------------------

My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a
hand-job. I said "Son, that's 3 schools this year! You'd better stop before
you're banned from teaching altogether."

-----------------------------------------------------------

Question - Are there too many immigrants in Britain ?

17% said yes;
11% said No;
72% said "I am not understanding the question please."
-----------------------------------------------------------
The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me
because she can't afford batteries!

From the same email, from my BIL,

Remember the 7 qualities for the perfect girlfriend - Beautiful,
Intelligent, Gentle, Thoughtful, Innocent, Trustworthy, Sensible. *
Or in other words............B.I.G.T.I.T.S.

:roflmao: Love it!

At a wedding party recently someone yelled, "All the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living."

The bartender was crushed to death.

I Fish on Fridays
 

A husband and wife came for counseling after 20 years of marriage.
When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate,
painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 20 years
they had been married.

She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness,
loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of
unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time,
the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the
wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately as her husband
watched with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat
down as though in a daze.

The therapist turned to the husband and said, 'This is what your
wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?'

The husband thought for a moment and replied, 'Well, I can drop
her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish.'

Chinese Baby
 

A Chinese couple named Wong had a new baby.

The nurse brings them over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, definitely Caucasian white baby boy!

"Congratulations," says the nurse to the new parents. "What will you name the baby?"

The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says..........

"Well, two Wongs don't make a white, so I think we will name him Sum Ting Wong."

Pickup Lines?
 

I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day long.

Nice legs...what time do they open?

I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

Wanna play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.

I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside K-Mart, so I could ride you for a quarter.

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag.

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?

Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.

You forgot:

Those clothes look great on you, but would look better on my bedroom floor.
Your dad must have been a farmer because those are some great looking melons.
and the ever popular:








Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich.

The barman looks at him and says,


"Hang on! You're a duck."

"I see your eyes are working," replies the duck.

"And you can talk!"
Exclaims the barman.

"I see your ears are working, too,"
Says the duck.


"Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"

"Certainly, sorry about that,"


Says the barman as he pulls the duck's pint.


"It's just we don't get many ducks in this pub.. What are you doing round this way?"

"I'm working on the building site across the road," explains the duck.


"I'm a plasterer."

The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it.

So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the barman good day and leaves.

The same thing happens for two weeks

Then one day the circus comes to town.

The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to him


"You're with the circus, aren't you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!"

"Sounds marvelous," says the ringmaster, handing over his business card.


"Get him to give me a call."

So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says,


"Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money."

"I'm always looking for the next job,"


Says the duck.


"Where is it?"

"At the circus,"


Says the barman.

"The circus?"


Repeats the duck.

"That's right,"


Replies the barman.

"The circus?"


The duck asks again.


with the big tent?"

"Yeah," the barman replies

"With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who live in caravans?" says the duck.

"Of course," the barman replies.

"And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?" persists the duck.

"That's right!" says the barman.

The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says .. . .
> .
>
>
> .
>
>
>
>
> .
>
>
>
>
>
>
> .
>
>
>
>
> .
>
>
>
>
"What the fuck would they want with a plasterer??!"

That "quacks" me up. :D

A woman was having a passionate affair with an Irish inspector from a pest-control company.. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly.

'Quick,' said the woman to the lover, 'into the closet!' and she pushed him in the closet, stark naked.

The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search of the bedroom discovered the man in the closet..

'Who are you?' he asked him..

'I'm an inspector from Bugs-B-Gone,' said the exterminator.

'What are you doing in there?' the husband asked..

'I'm investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths,' the man replied.

'And where are your clothes?' asked the husband.

The man looked down at himself and said, 'Those little bastards!'..

Let's just offend everyone
 

I'd just come out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas& a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days.' I told him, 'I wish I had your will power.'

I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were NOT the correct answers.

A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunch time. She said 'sorry about the wait.' I said, 'Don't worry, you'll find a way to lose it eventually '

I walked past a black kid sitting at a bus stop as I went into the bank.
When I came out, he looked at me and said 'Any Change?' I said, 'Nope, you're still black'

Snow in the forecast and the TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself, 'fat chance,' with a face like that!

A 10 year old Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man passing by asks 'What's wrong, lad?' The boy says 'Me ma died this morning.' 'Oh bejaysus,' The man says. 'Do you want me to call Father O'Riley for you?' The boy replies, 'No tanks mister, sex is the last ting on my mind at the moment.'

Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away.
But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works best!

Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such a fantastic shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth closed.

I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself...'I'm going to take that.'

Man in a hot air balloon is lost over Ireland. He looks down and sees a farmer in the fields and shouts to him Where am I? The Irish farmer looks back up and shouts back. "You're in that basket."!!

I had a big lead in a trivia competition at a local bar until the last question which I got wrong. The question was, Where do women have the curliest hair? Fiji was the correct answer...hell, how did I know they wanted the name of a country?

^^^^ There went any hope of "political correctness."


:roflmao:

That just hit another wave of emails PF.

A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday. They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?"

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.

"Oh, no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"

"She's in the Ladies' Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them."

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says "Hi Davey. Want your usual lap dance, big boy?"

Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book.

The cabby turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave."

Now that is an "oh, shit!" moment.

It's his fault for not taking the moral high ground about entering that den of sin and perfidy.

Oil Change instructions for Women:
1. Pull up to GM Dealership when the mileage reaches 3,000 miles since the last oil change.

2. Drink a cup of coffee.

3. 15 minutes later, scan debit card and leave, driving a properly maintained vehicle.

Money spent:

Oil Change:$24.00

Coffee: Complementary

TOTAL: $24.00



Oil Change instructions for Men:

1. Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, and use your debit card for $50.00.

2. Stop by Beer Store and buy a case of beer, (debit $24), drive home.

3. Open a beer and drink it.

4. Jack truck up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.

5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.

6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.

7. Place drain pan under engine.

8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench.

9. Give up and use crescent wrench.

10. Unscrew drain plug.

11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process. Cuss.

12. Crawl out from under truck to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.

13. Have another beer while watching oil drain.

14. Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.

15. Give up; crawl under truck and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.

16. Crawl out from under truck with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.

17. Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.

18. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.

19. Remember drain plug from step 11.

20. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.

21. Drink beer.

22. Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.

23. Get drain plug back in with only a minor spill. Drink beer.

24. Crawl under truck getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame removing any excess skin between knuckles and frame.

25. Begin cussing fit.

26. Throw stupid crescent wrench.

27. Cuss for additional 5 minutes because wrench hit truck and left dent.

28. Beer.

29. Clean up hands and bandage as required to stop blood flow.

30. Beer.

31. Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.

32. Beer.

33. Lower truck from jack stands.

34. Move truck back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during any missed steps.

35. Beer.

36. Test drive truck.

37. Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.

38. truck gets impounded.

39. Call loving wife, make bail.

40. 12 hours later, get truck from impound yard.

Money spent:

Parts: $50.00

DUI: $2,500.00

Impound fee: $75.00

Bail: $1,500.00

Beer: $20.00

TOTAL: $4,145.00

But you know the job was done right! :thumbs:


(You women have no idea how true this is)! :nod:

Now wait a minute. First it no longer costs 24.00 for an oil changed. It's 35.00 at walmart. Second, the rest only applies to rednecks currently residing in Kentucky and Tennessee.

A man walks into a bar in nome Alaska and notices there are dollar bills covering every square inch of the walls and ceiling.

Curious, he asks the bartender what's up with all the money?

The bar tender says, well, you can have all that money. You just have to do three things first.

1. You have to knock me out. Now at six foot five and three hundred pounds, this was no easy task.

2. I've got a wolf in the back with an abcessed tooth. You gotta pull it for me.

3. You see that 90 year old inuit woman down at the end of the bar? She's a virgin, and you have to pop her cherry!

The man just shakes his head and asks for a bottle of whiskey.

An hour later the man calls the bar tender over.

The bartender says, yeah wadda you ....WHACK! The man picked up the empty bottle and knocks out the bar tender.

When the bartender comes to he here's the biggest ruckus coming outta the back room, howling, snarling, screaming and all sorts of unpleasant sounds.

The man, bleeding, and bruised. obviously wasted and slurring his speach says.....

Ok, I took care of you, I took care of that dog, now where's that old woman that needs her tooth pulled! :)

The cold'll do that to you. LOL.

A man and his wife were spending the day at the zoo.
She was wearing a loose fitting, pink dress, sleeveless with straps..
He was wearing his usual jeans and T-shirt.
As they walked through the ape exhibit,
They passed in front of a large, silverback gorilla.
Noticing the wife, the gorilla went crazy.
He jumped on the bars, and holding on with one hand and two feet he grunted and pounded his chest with his free hand.
He was obviously excited at the pretty lady in the pink dress.
The husband, noticing the excitement, thought this was funny.
He suggested that his wife tease the poor fellow some more by puckering her lips and wiggling her bottom. She played along and the gorilla got even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead. Then the husband suggested that she let one of her straps fall to show a little more skin.
She did.... and the gorilla was about to tear the bars down.
"Now..... show your thighs and sort of fan your dress at him," he said.
This drove the gorilla absolutely crazy and he started doing flips.
Then the husband grabbed his wife, ripped open the door to the cage, flung her in with the gorilla and slammed the cage door shut.
"Now. Tell HIM you have a headache."

Navy cruiser was anchored in Gulfport, Mississippi, for a week's shore leave. The first evening, the ship's Captain received the following note from the wife of a wealthy plantation owner who was also a former Army helicopter pilot:

Dear Captain,

Thursday will be my daughter Melinda's Debutante Ball. I would like you to send four well-mannered, handsome, unmarried officers in their formal dress uniforms to attend the dance. They should arrive promptly at 8:00 PM prepared for an evening of polite Southern conversation. They should be excellent dancers, as they will be the escorts of lovely refined young ladies. One last point: No Jews, please.

Sending a written message by his own yeoman, the captain replied:

'Madam, thank you for your invitation. In order to present the widest possible knowledge base for polite conversation, I am sending four of my best and most prized officers.

One is a Lieutenant Commander, and a graduate of Annapolis with an additional Masters degree from MIT in fluid technologies and ship design.

The second is a Lieutenant, one of our Navy helicopter pilots, and a graduate of Northwestern University in Chicago , with a BS in Aeronautical Engineering. His Masters Degree and PhD in Aeronautical and Mechanical Engineering are from Texas Tech University and he is also an astronaut candidate.

The third officer is also a Lieutenant, with degrees in both computer systems and information technology from SMU and he is awaiting notification on his Doctoral Dissertation from Cal Tech.

Finally, the fourth officer, also a Lieutenant Commander, is our ship's doctor, with an undergraduate degree from the University of Georgia and his medical degree is from the University of North Carolina . We are very proud of him, as he is also a senior fellow in Trauma Surgery at Bethesda .

Upon receiving this letter, Melinda's mother was quite excited and looked forward to Thursday with pleasure. Her daughter would be escorted by four handsome naval officers without peer (and the other women in her social circle would be insanely jealous).

At precisely 8:00 PM on Thursday, Melinda's mother heard a polite rap at the door which she opened to find, in full dress uniform, four handsome, smiling Black officers.

Her mouth fell open, but pulling herself together, she stammered, "There must be some mistake."

"No, Madam," said the first officer. "Captain Goldberg never makes mistakes.

My dad had to explain that one to me...about 40 yrs ago :brows: