Life is far too busy at present, sometimes i'd love to just drop out for me time!

I'm sitting here watching my fish swim about so calmly, they look at peace and happy, wish i was them right now

I'm starting something new today

1.It seems the crowd outside the Mission grows a bit each day.

2.I try not to think about it......but....there are hungry children all around me.

3.People died today....were murdered.....committed suicide.....and we just trod on with blinders... as if we were invincible.

An uncle of mine was murdered 19 years ago. Many of my loved ones have attempted suicide. Life must go on but I definitely don't feel invincible.

I'm hot.

I'm hot.

I'm very hot.

Is that ^^^ an opinion or a consensus? :cool:

well i'm horny
HORNY
HORNY!!!

I was horny.

I had sex.

I'm not horny. (for now :tongue:)

I drank delicious wine last night.

I will be drinking delicious wine tonight with this fabulous lentil curry.

I am heading in to work now.

1. I'm really disappointed my neighbors are moving.
2. I need a shower.
3. I did not sleep well last night.

1) My grandfather killed himself long enough ago that I have no memory of him, he did it while I was still very young. (And I know the reasons why his mind was unstable enough to consider suicide as an option)

2) I had a friend who commited suicide several years back (And I know the PROBABLE reason why he did it, though I can never be 100% sure of the truth).

3) I can't afford to go around thinking I'm invincible, otherwise I'll never survive. If I don't keep an eye on my reality and my state of mind, I won't be able to fight those suicidal urges. I've been successful for a very long time (and have even gotten it to the point where I might think about maybe once every two weeks or more, instead of daily), and I'd just as soon keep my successful streak going for a very long time (I don't want my future grandkids to have no memory of one of their grandfathers like I do)

And back for a less depressing 3 things (hopefully) than my last ^

1) That last post of mine is not something that is ever easy for me to talk about, but I've found that just talking about it makes it easier to deal with

2) It is something that I've gotten help with, but the medications never worked for me and going through 5 councilors in 2 years made me decide that therapy wasn't for me

3) The 2 years of therapy (and I'm not faulting any of my councilors, just the "business" that employed them) were helpful, the councilors were able to give me an ability to recognize when the depressions are coming on (or those suicidal urges) and gave me a way of coping with those times until they pass. I just wish that I'd've been able to just stick to one councilor instead getting shifted around.

I'm not too regretful that I went out last night because my mind really needed it and it was fun to commune with friends. But I should've just went home after the first place. :spank:

This is my "Get My Shit Straight" week. I had planned on relaxing during my minor vacation from work, but thanks to my roommate moving out, I have to do some hustling. Maybe it was supposed to be this way and I need to have faith that things will work out.

I hope and pray that I am able to keep this apartment. If I can't, things won't become impossible, but just annoyingly irritating in having to look for a new share.

1. Reading ShadowsFate's postings and sending warm thoughts and strength in SF's direction.

2. Reading about IK's predicament and hope he finds a quick and solid resolution to the challenge.

3. Thinking how unique Pixies is and wondering why I hardly ever have time to get here. (Aside from an incompetent ISP.)

1. I miss Pixies so much, it isn't funny.

2. I miss Lilith all the more.
3. I miss being WildIrish, and having people know me that well.

1/ Computers frustrates the crap outta me sometimes!

2/ I think i've finally got the damn thing reloaded with most of my programs after a major crash and burn

3/ The new IE8 is great, and i'm liking the new MSN too *L*