If you aren't going to smack the shit out of it with a skillet the way my Gram used to, then a hammer will do.

Not sure what to use next.


Broken Ironing board

Hammer the thing into a small enough package to be carted to the dump, and get a new one.

Cracks in the basement foundation.

Definately Duct tape.



Broken tv

Duct tape the exterior and if that doesn't work, hammer the shit out of it.

Wobbly kitchen table

Duct tape the sucker back into position.

Red-light runners.

Duct tape



Couch

Duct tape whatever could possibly be wrong with it.

Broken DVD player

Hammer they are a dime a dozen anymore.


mailbox

Duct tape it closed and hope you get less bills. :cool:



Smart phone.
(although I've already selected the caliber.............. I mean, solution)

Duct tape to hold it together and WD40 if you don't want it to work.


Basketball backboard

Hammer...if it's already broken, take it the rest of the way down.

Jammed zipper

Definately WD40



Printer

Duct tape ... so the darn cord doesn't keep coming unplugged. :)

Door frozen shut.

A combination of hammer and WD40.



Bicycle

WD40 to keep the chain lubricated.

Broken flower pot.

Duct tape. sometimes, the answer is obvious.

Cracked asphalt in the driveway.

I would go with duct tape


Computer

Hammer is most satisfying.



Vacuum cleaner

Duct tape and if still messed up hammer.


Football

WD-40. Watch the players go crazy! :rofl:



Books

Duct tape.


Bumper of car

Duct tape


Stuck zipper on a torn pair of jeans.

Lot's of WD-40. Not only may it unstick the zipper, it'll give a nice impersonation of a "wet spot."

DB forgot to post a problem, so I'll offer one:

late-running buses.

Duct tape for the driver. lol


Broken cabinet

If it's the side that's broken, duct tape; if it's the hinges that are broken, WD-40.

lawn grass too high

Duct tape to smooth that stuff down


Lipstick stained collar

WD-40 should do the trick.


CD case

Hammer, as probably I lost the CD in the first place anyway.

Cracked Mirror

Hammer to make room for a new mirror.

Flat tire.

Duct tape over the hole until you can get a replacement, of course.

Friends who don't visit when they say they will.