Your depressing and the sooner you get help for your self esteem the better

Well nothing can quite help my self esteem like some women willignt o fuck me, but we all knwo that will never happen.

I have to agree with everything that Sharni said... and as for your noone can help my self-esteem comment... that's not true. You can help it yourself, or you can seek out a good therapist. But you have to be willing to listen to them, because they won't put up with the rationalizing bs.

Oh where to start with this........

No woman likes a self obseesed attention seeker, who spends his time whining about not being a sex god. Stop behaving like that, and you'll go far.

Women DO like a man with a sense of humour. It's far important than looks.

Did I mention a sense of humour is far more important than looks? Because it is....which means if you think you're ugly as sin, perhaps you should work on your personality, and work on finding a woman who has a nice personality, not one who is necessarily beautiful. So you don't end up with a woman who looks like Jennifer Anniston, so what? You don't look like Brad Pitt either.

If you want to be attractive to a woman, give her something to be attracted to....so it might not be your face, then make it something about your personality that's irresistible. Likewise though, look beyond her looks and find her attractive qualities on the inside. The personality is the only thing that will be there still in 50 years when you're old, drooling and incontinent.

OK- the line between self-deprecating humor and full out wallowing in self pity has definitely been crossed here. If you just want a step-by-step recipe for having better luck with women, just based on your previous posts mind you, here you go:
1. Men who are attractive to women have confidence in themselves-- even the way a confident person carries himself helps with the "physical appearance" factor- You look taller, you smile more, and you make eye contact, which shows people that you are interested in someone other than yourself.
2. Look at every woman out there as someone you could potentially be with. You are too busy talking yourself out of a potential relationship by saying "oh, she's too good for me" to recognize that she might be sending you signals that she surely thinks you're damn good enough. (Which, consequently, she's not going to do if you are constantly bashing yourself-- it's CREEPY, period.)
3. If you have bad self-esteem, you didn't invent the concept. There are tons of people out there who do also-- whether you see it in them or not. The trick? They fake it. Just come across as someone who is ok with themselves- NOT someone who thinks they are the best thing to happen to the world this century. Eventually, after faking confidence for a little while, you will start to truly develop it. Take it from someone who has had to do this before!
4. Stop being so afraid of rejection that you reject yourself prematurely. The worst that any woman can say is 'no'.


I dated a guy for a while that had exactly the same self-esteem problem. Eventually, after I tried a million and a half times to let him know he was perfectly adequate, his "oh, poor me" act got old. I finally got so tired of assuring him all the time (assurances that he picked apart word for word in exactly the same way as you have picked apart everyone else's post and argued against them) that it sucked all the fun out of conversation and out of our relationship.

You can force yourself into having a little confidence, or you can force yourself to believe that you are pond-scum... I know which one I'd choose to try for.

The worst that any woman can say is 'no'.

Well there are rstraining orders and sexual harrassment lawsuits, but even I know not to use the line "Nice shoes, wanna fuck?" on a co-worker.

Anyways, I am feeling a lot better now. Thanks for the advice, it finally dawned on me what exactly had gone so wrong to make me get into this sad state and now I am trying to go about finding some kind of help.

I've pondered the same question myself, and my conclusion is that they do it for one of three reasons:
1) They really truly believe it (however misguided they might or might not be)
2) They are trying to stave off personal guilt that would come from telling you what they really think.
3) They are trying to stave off social awkwardness that would come from others based on having told you what they really think.

As others have said, and I will re-iterate, you can't perceive inadequacy purely because you don't have a partner. It's not healthy and it's not rational. You don't have to conciously "sell yourself", but if you behave the way you seem to be, you're selling everyone else. Why make your job harder?

One thing that I've heard before that some of the respondants have almost mentioned here is that if a woman is tending towards being attracted to you, and you start unloading all this stuff, you're pissing on her judgement. Not good.

I have more, but I can't say it coherently right now.

So true, and so nicely put!

I heard someone say the other day that people get depressed because they talk too much negativity. SOMEONE right here on pixies told me that me talking bad about myself was unattractive. I have tried to change that. I am not beautiful or a skinny supermodel, but I like myself. I think I am nice looking tho. It's up to yourself to make YOU happy. Do it, or deal with it. Your life and your future is in your hands. AND to me, it sounds like YOU are just as bad by only looking for beautiful women. Beauty isn't everything. Try finding a friend first and let the love grow from there. It happens, I know. Best of luck.

"You have to realize I am jsut an average looking guy in a world of hunks. I am just a simple peasant in a land of kings. I am a single and horny guy constantly surrounded by beautiful women and I know I can't have any of them."


i know exactly what you mean

:rolleyes:

oh please.... when in doubt follow this advice:
it's guaranteed!

Lower the standards, up the odds.

Lower the standards, up the odds.

And sadly, I turned down a booty cal tonight becuase well she jsut wasn't someone I was attracted to in any way other than having a vagina.

Eh, so sue me I have some morals.

hmm... beggars cant be choosers?