I not only crossed my fingers for you Stefan........I am tied inna bunch for you. LOL!

I think I said before....but I reiterate.....

Just when you think this is the darkest time of your life.........you will see the light at the end of the tunnel! Don't lose sight of the fact that the dark will try and overshadow the light........but I promise......however small it is.........the light will be there. And then as you come to the other end of this (tunnel) things will get better and better. I'm not trying to fool you.......this could take a while. But it WILL happen! Always remember........to every action......there is an equal and opposite reaction! It's only a matter of time! Hang in there sweety......TIME is your saving grace! One day closer.........

*hugs n hugs n hugs*

not all marriages are bad experiences GS

TYVM Lixy!
The longer the time is that I know how the future will be, the easier it is to cope with it. Now I am rather fearless although the day is coming near... I am better now for these days. No idea how long this good mood will last, but I will take it as much time as I can.
I can see that I am not alone. This helps a lot! As local friends as you all Pixie friends :)

Angel_25:
Yes, you are right. But I really do not wish anybody to see the dark side of the medal. There is no guarantee for a marriage.

G.S....I've not been married but my first ltr was a twisted one,to start i was 31 lol up until then i was a free agent so to speak.The person i met,my sons father,i met when i was at a vulnerable stage in my life ,my mom had died at 43 i was 27 we grew up together...along came this dude that told me what i needed to hear at the time,a sick relationship then ensued...until i had had enuff kkick his ass and i mean I KICKED IT :) Then my dad did..what i did after that was on me.

I got into some things not good..wait lol this is too much...bottom line is i never,ever thought i could trust or love any one ever again.I didn't think i deserved it...then i started changing on the inside,the outside followed..i met dzbuster thru a yahoo ad almost 2 yrs ago...never imagined that i could truly be happy..we have our ups n downs but its the best time i've had in my life..i panic all the time when is the shit gonna hit the fan,does he really care....i know he does we wouldn't be together this long

BiSexyBabeDD, I am starting to have trust to many, many people again. Mainly my point of view has changed. Now I open my eyes for not repeating the same mistakes. I can recognize certain patterns of behaviour very well now and with this knowledge choose my partners.
And I have changed my own behaviour. I am trying to be my own personality, that is able to set fronteers. I have recognized that a personality like a piece of chewing gum (that adapts to everybody else) can only have limited success. Finally it is better having a sane conflict than swallowing what the others feed you.

I had a look at the divorce statistics of here. Around HALVE the couples are being divorced again. At the same time having the knowledge that a marriage means paying some tax less, a divorce means almost being ruined, the decision is easier what to do.

GS hun- i know all too well that marriages are not guaranteed- the reason i know this is after 30+ years my parents(who i never thought would spilt up- did) as well as my oldest sister breaking up with her husband after 7 years. I am concidered the only one in my immediate family to have a great and strong marriage (i have another sister whose marriage has been rocky from the get go but yet they r persisting because my sister wouldnt be able to handle being a statistic- gee gotta hand it to her huh lol) so yeah i know all too well about pain and all that acompanies a marriage break up- i also think sometimes people make bad choices or marry for the wrong reason- but thats a whole nother thread lol, anyway im rambling here- but my point is- don't give up hope- there is someone 'right' for you out there- and maybe just maybe marriage isnt right for you- i dunno, but i think people have to start looking at things differently as divorce is sad and obviously at times can be a traumatic experience(not just for the couple involved- but the kids)

Oh.....and Stefan? As long as friends are sharing here.......

and the saying goes........."Misery LOVES company", of which I interpret......."No one likes to think this is only happening to him/her........

My first love of 9 years? *RASPBERRIES* In the toilet! But if it didn't happen that way I'd have never met my second love! And yes.......*raspberries again* after 8 years and a lot of money from me.....I am the one who bolted!

Well.....I did with my first relationship too.....on Valentines Day, 1982. Sounds harsh......but he really deserved it....trust me!

The second "big" relationship and finally I did actually marry him............found he was just not for me.....no matter how hard I tried to make it work........I didn't fit his life, and so I left. To spare him mostly......but for me as well.

My current relationship and my second marriage? Early into 15 years now...........and we are still very much in love. Say it to one another all the time.....though we both have our seperate gripes. We both also know........time and love heal all wounds!

NEVER SAY NEVER hun! When you do.......you'll find stranger things are happening than what you have said NEVER to!

*weekly hug*

Hope this week fares well for you! If not........forge ahead till the light is brighter!

:):):)
Oooooooooh, stress... I can feel it in my stomach... there have appeared again some poisonous thoughts, but this time, although it is hard, I seem to bear it. What is different?
OTOH I know the facts for rather much time now. That lowers the feeling of catastrophy a bit.
And I have seen I am not alone ((((((((((HUGS)))))))))). My friends (visibles and Pixies), relatives, colleagues have all shown me that I´m not alone.
And I beleave in higher powers that will help me. I have this power always with me.
And OTOH, a good friend of mine is starting to be a very very good friend :D if you know what I mean... The imagination she could be sad because I started doing stupid things...no, I do not want that. I prefer laying in her arms again after a hard phase of my life.

Angel_25: It is possible that I have found this "right" person already. But I need more time now. Need to check my feelings. Need to check everything about her. Need to work on myself. I am a child with burned fingers now. It is possible that I won´t marry any more. It is much more difficult to say yes again.

Lixy: I did not say NEVER. ;)
Just this process of learning is a piece of hard bread to chew on.

TYVM for caring, you all do not know how much you help. Send me your prayers for Monday, when I will stand in front of that kinda tribunal in Gran Canaria...*breathe*

Stefan

Got up with a very ugly feeling: Because I had eaten strong food before sleeping, couldn´t sleep relaxed. Instead I was sick with thoughts of the divorce and of the work circling in my mind. I wanted to sleep but I couldn´t. I was almost shivering for that feeling cocktail.
Good luck that the sun is shining now. That rescued me a lot. Thinking about getting a herb medicament to calm down a bit on the worst days.
OMG tomorrow I will fly....

Stefan

GS---I'm not trying to make light of your problems,but
altho it's easier said than done,try using one of the
philosphies(sp?)that I used,to help me handle stopping
alchohol!Is worrying about it,or having a mood altering
substance,going to change anything?Awnser:NO!You
can handle things&think,much more,clearly otherwise!
Sorry,just trying to help,NOT preach! Irish
P.S.It has often been said that the closest thing to love
is hate!

*pooooooh* that WAS a hard time at the beginning!
But my lawyer was a great surprise, everything ran rather well!
On the day of the tribunal I was relaxed enough for not taking any pill. And when we went out of the "Juzgado"building I could feel an incredible release! All fears gone!!!!!!!!!

Only my wife was telling some lies. She tries to steal MY flat, tries to keep me away from OUR daughter and tries to maximize the money I have to pay HER; all that with the help of lies. I have hope that the judge can see which kind of wood she is made of.

And she refused to show me our daughter :(:(:( DAMN!

But the sun of the canary islands was great! (at least compared with the snow of here).