Two nuns are riding bicycles through the old back roads of Italy to reach the Vatican. One nun looks to the other and says,
"I've never come this way before."
The other nun responds,
"It must be the cobblestones sweetie."

:D I love that joke :D

Q. What do you call a heard of masturbating bulls?

A. Beef Strokinoff

Why did God give women foreheads?

So you have some place to kiss after you cum in their mouth!

Tasteless.....and I like it!

Mrs. Lix

That was a great one Mrs. Lix :)

Q. What kind of sex does a priest get?

A. Nun

How do you get 4 guy gays on a bar stool??

Ture it up side down..

Q: What is the difference between eating oysters and oral sex?

A: The lemon juice!

(Ahmm, you can laugh about it, but I guess, finally it is not really a joke :D )

Two gay men are hitchhiking on this highway....They are walking along when a semi stops and offers them a ride.

They get in and introduce themselves.

The drive along pleasantly when all of a sudden one of the gay guys fart. It wasnt the usual loud type but a silent puff of air.

No one says anything and the go along for a while longer.

The second gay guy also lets out a fart....and again its a silent puff of air.

The two guys do this repeatedly until the truck driver says, "Thats not how you fart...this is a real fart!"
And he lets it rip with the sound echoing inside of the trucks cabin.

The two gay guys look at each other and say "Virgin."

ROTFLMAO @ Heatluvintxn.........that was awful. ;) Ewwwww :D

*Clint

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly, she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.

"Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you," she says.

They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards the theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.

After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap ......... and stay for breakfast.

The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed!! Everything had been SO incredible!!!! "You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?".

"No," she replies........."

"You just happened to catch my eye."

A Woman asks her husband if he'd like some breakfast. "Would you like
bacon and eggs, perhaps? A slice of toast and maybe some
grapefruit and coffee?" she asks. He declines. "It's this
Viagra," he says. "It's really taken the edge off my appetite."
At lunchtime, she asks if he would like something. "A bowl of
homemade soup, homemade muffins or a cheese sandwich?" She
inquires. He declines. "The Viagra," he says, "really trashes my
desire for food." Come dinnertime, she asks if he wants anything
to eat. Would he like maybe a steak and apple pie? Maybe he'd like a
pizza micro waved or a tasty stir-fry that would only take a couple
of minutes? He declines. "Naw, still not hungry." "Well," she
says, "would you mind letting me up? I'm starving!!"

One evening, a female police officer pulled a man over for DUI, and said,
"You are under arrest. Anything you say, can and will be held against you.
Do you want to say anything?"

The drunk replied, "Nice b00bs."

This isn't exactly a sex joke, but it's twisted nonetheless ;)

Jesus walks into a hotel, goes up to the check-in counter and throws three nails down on the counter. He looks at the clerk and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"

Bad Clint

Maybe not to twisted, but true
 

Q. What do parsley and pubic hair have in common?


A. You push them both aside and keep on eating.

On the same theme...
 

What's the difference between parsley & pussy?


People actually eat pussy

OK, another sex joke...
 

Little girl asks her mother "Where do babies come from Mommy?"

The mother figures she is old enough for the Birds and Bees talk, so she explains the differences between a man's body and a woman's, and how he will put his penis in the woman's vagina and that is where babies come from.

The little girl looks at her mother wide-eyed and says "Mommy, I am confused. The other night I was walking past your bedroom and Daddy's penis was in your mouth. Why?"

And her mother replied "Oh honey, that is how we get expensive jewelry."