And of course, my answer was based on me being single. I'm bad but not that bad!

Ohh

I'm in love with SO, but would like to flirt, but only if humour and brain were working.

have been approached in a bar and left without her - she was gorgeous and lovely, but she had enough problems and was not after sex but was after attention, parents were utterly shit and she wanted someone to talk with, but thought that sex was communication.

so girly from ku klub sunderland - if you are reading i'm sorry but i was too dumb to be your analyst.

wildeye

kinda grieving

Ditto...

In all my fantasies, we would go back to her/my room and shag each other's brains out, but in R/L it doesn't seem to happen. (Sobs in his beer...)

Thank you for all the responses. It was intersting to see the different perspectives. I'm trying to come up with a good set of criteria myself...

At the end of the day. I think I respect myself too much to actually do it...but on a visceral level I'd sure love to try.

only had one experiance where I met and slept with a guy on the same day. It was during a difficult time in my life and I probably was not "of sound mind"~~~~~~but hind sight is always 20/20 vision. It was an "affermation"~~~nothing more and nothing less. we stayed in touch for a while, but neither of us were able to take the relationship (over statement!) to any level.

I was with Dm for aprrox6 weeks before we were "physical"and, I am glad we took our time~~~~love making up for lost time wit him!!!!!!!!!!!

I used to have one night stands a lot in my early 20's. Not sure what I would do now if I was approached in a bar and I was alone. (not likely to happen, being alone in a bar). I did meet two guys off the net..they were both disasters, and one women, which was not...

**bump**

We have some new members, who may want to "weigh in"

I think I would as well but until I'm actually put into the situation I'll never know. for absolute sure. Much like you osuche I definitely like the thought, however, the act might be a bit difficult.

Has never happened to me, so I'd probably die of shock! LOL

After I regained composure, I'd probably be like Steph. If she had something to offer by way of wit, intelligence and personality, then we'd be off to knock boots!

If I were not in a relationship, of course!

I would ask her where she left the dog and the stick.

I've never went home with a stranger. I don't think I ever could. Even if I were single, I think I'd just get his number and call him for a dinner date first.

I wouldn't. I had a one night stand once in a situation much like this. The sex was akward and even though he did many things "right" as far as what most women like, he didn't know me and my body. I learned my lesson then... a man that knows my own personal preferences, even if not as instantly "wooo whooo" as a don juan stranger is 100x better in bed. And if the sex isn't earth shattering, then it's just not worth it. Mediocre, clumsy sex was okay when I was 19. Now I want it the way I want it, and I want to know how to bring my partner right along with me, without wondering if I'm doing it "right."

Since more and more I seem to be the "official" Pixie's slut, I will weigh in on this.

"Wanda's Guide to Meeting and Fucking/Having Sex with People in Bars"

I meet and bed (ok, sometimes we never get near an actual bed, but you know what I mean) people I meet at random places like bars and such all the time.
I am not lacking in self respect. I am very succesful, essentially single woman, and PREFER to have this life.
(I have a LIFE, dammit, not a "lifestyle")
I have more bar encounters with other women than with men, (again, my preference) but I do happily meet and fuck men I meet in bars all the time!!
I am also very choosy.
What do I look for?
I am interested in first, a strong sense of personal hygiene.
If you don't bath, brush and groom regularly, forget it!! Smelling good helps too! (Clean teeth, mouthwash, perfume, cologne, a nice but not overpowering after shave... it helps to feed ALL the senses!)
Dress.
Try to dress with some sense of style. A sleevless LA Laker's jersy and long shorts, dirty runners, and a backwards baseball cap are not date wear. (Except a Saturday "after an outdoor Jazz Fest show beer stop, but not a Saturday night in a nice place). The other side of this is don't be too self -absorbed. Most of us are not attracted to men who spend more time picking out clothes and doing skin and hair care then we do. Checking out your reflexion in the mirror behind bar in the middle of a conversation is just tacky, no matter if you are a man or a woman.
For women seeking other women, don't forget that your dress is a statement of WHO you are looking for. Cut -off shorts and a cropped tank top make a certain statement to other women (yummm!!!) as do jeans and a t-shirt with a hard -pack rolled up in the sleeve. *Yummmm too**
Next comes manners. And RESPECT.
If you are an oaf or silly twit who thinks the world is all about you, again, FORGET IT!!! Have a two way conversation. Listen to what we say, and ask questions, remember the answers. Women are very good at detecting the sleezes who ask questions, nod at the answers, and forget what we said right away. Ask us what we would like to drink. Don't order for us, unless we ask you to. I never do, but I have friends who do.
We LOVE it when a man stands when you leave or return to the table!!!! Hold doors open for us. I open doors for others if I am in the right spot to do so. It is not a sign of " I think you are helpless" it is a sign of manners and respect.
Intellegence.
Read something dammit!!!! And be able to talk about it.
If in the middle of the conversation you make a comment like "I love to read the 'Bell Jar' over and over" and then LISTEN to what WE have to say about Sylvia Plath, ...YATZEEE!!!!
(But I really don't necessarly want to hear all the deatils of your Master's Thesis on "Cultural Diversity in Russian Literature". My Papa' was a Professor of Literature, and I have heard a lot of it already. But if you want to suggest that too many Woman authors were overlooked in the 19th Century, I might want to listen.)
Try to talk in full, meaningful sentences.
"Eminem is so yuh' know, ouda here, and rad, 'n so bad!!!!!" (a actual quote, by the way)
At that point I am off to the Women's room, and after I throw up, I am looking for a window to climb out of.
Dance.
Ask her to dance. I love to dance. Most women do. Dancing can be a prelude to something else. MAYBE.
"vibes" (my partner's word)
A night of dancing, drinking, and even a little light making out is not a sign that you are going to "get some" tonight.
Sex is My Choice, and sometimes the feeling just isn't right. My life, my body, MY CHOICE!!!
I am not a tease. I know there are women who are, and I am sorry they hurt you, but that's life. Get over it.
Accept a polite "NO" with grace, and a smile. Sometimes how well you react to "goodnight" results in my having a different feeling about you next time we meet. It's not a test, it just makes me think.
And sometimes after a some chatting, some drinking, kissing, and touching, I will rock your world!

Wickedly, Intensely Sexual,

Wanda

WW ~ Thank you for the thoughtful reply. If I did do such a thing, I'd have similar criteria. I like your style! :D