I have to agree that the internet and instant messageing can be a hazard to a marriage. I was sucked in, but fortunetly I have a great wife who thought it was better to talk it out than to throw away 25 years. Of course it wasn't a total stranger that I hooked up with but an old girlfriend. But it was through the internet that we located each other. Without the internet it may not have happened. But is cybersex cheating? I'm really torn on how to answer it but I am starting to lean toward yes it is, but only because it is very hard not to let it lead to something else.

I just wanted to say that I never thought of it as cheating I got on line for my 1st time 4 & 1/2 years ago because my best friends mother had gotten on line & told us how great it was she was 48 married for the 3rd time & bored so my best friend got on line & for 9 months we spent time driving from place to place after getting her husband to babysit her kids to meet guys she had spoken to on her mums pc I was finally able to admit to her it agravated me to know she was cheating on a nice guy even though she didnt have sex with them . but then she broke up with him & started meeting guys form further away like rockhampton & sydney as such .1 day she decided that the net was just a pain in the butt & we ended up tlaking about old boyfriends so I took her to see 1 guy we had both dated well he told us he was on line & I started chatting to him regularly we left our respective spouses & are now married . but I never saw it as cheating why you ask after all we were both married to other people & yes people got hurt over it but we had dated back in high school & I had taken his virginity so to me it was destiny .
but on the subject of my friend she fell pregnant with 1 of these guys babies then took her husband back & they have been raising the baby ever since .....my point I guess is its cheating if your heart says its cheating my ex husband met up with some chick usin the nick barbie_girl while we were together & then when I finally left him for my current husband he admitted it to me even though he had denied it in the past & said she was a psycho so while some may have success in internet affairs others just live to regret it & I think its how you percieve it to if it's cheating or not follow your heart & your gut instincts if your partner is the 1 you truly want to spend the rest of your life with even internet flirting wont break you apart ....

dunno if this made sense but I tried giving a view from someone who has lived the lie & still has a great friendship with her ex husband because of truthfulness on my part ....jadeL:hot: :heart: :slurp:

WildIrish, I am in complete agreement. The Internet played a part in me divorcing, but it was not a happy relationship and I was under tremendous stress at the time - the internet made me aware of other options that I would never have considered on my own.

Now, almost seven years later, although the relationship "causing" the divorce did not work out, I am still satisfied that divorce was the thing I needed - and without my net experiences and relationships I would never have considered the possibility of leaving.

Like anything else "new", the net gets blamed for a lot of things that would have happened anyways.

Ditto pussywillow!!! It's just a damn excuse for a problem that was already there..........:cool: