That's How the Fight Started ...
 

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have sex?”
“No”, she answered.
I then said, “Is that your final answer?”
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, “Yes”
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started.

:boink:

:boink:

Sportsman's Double
 

I ended up with an older woman at a club last night. She looked pretty good for a 60-year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all.
We drank a bit, and we had a bit of a snuggle, and she asked if I ever had a 'Sportsman's Double'.
"What's that?" I asked.
"It's a mother and daughter threesome", she said.
"Oh..." I said as my mind began to embrace the idea, "No, I haven't", and I wondered what this daughter of hers might look like.
We drank a bit more, then she says with a wink that tonight was 'my lucky night'.
I went back to her place.
We walked in.
She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs:
"Mom, you still awake?"

:roflmao:

Adding a quart of oil
 

The sad part is that it looks like she's done that before. I dearly hope that it's a set-up.

Maybe she was just washing the engine. :faint:

Booze On An Airplane
 

A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a Flight from London. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.

The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him.

The Flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips.”

The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me, too, I didn't know we had a choice."

^^^^ I love it!

Sure and begorrah, I understand that. :irish:

I'm a "try both and see which one I'd prefer" kind of guy.

Some Little Known Greek History
 

Sharing some new trivia knowledge mixed with Greek history...


2,500 years ago a slave girl from Sardinia named Gedophamee (pronounced Get-offa’-me) was attending a great athletic festival in Greece. This festival had no name. In those days the athletes performed naked (believe it or not).


To prevent unwanted arousal while competing, the men imbibed freely on a drink, containing saltpeter before and throughout the variety of events.


At the opening ceremonial parade, Gedophamee observed the first wave of naked athletic males marching toward her and she exclaimed:


“Oh! Limp pricks!”


Over the next two and a half millennia that expression morphed into “Olympics”. Just thought I’d share this new found knowledge with you.

LOL! I learn something new every day. :rolleyes:

When I was young in the 1960's, I decided I wanted to a be
doctor so I took the entrance exam
to go to Medical School.

One of the questions asked us was to rearrange the letters PNEIS
into the name of an important human body part which is most useful when
erect.

Those who answered 'spine' are doctors today.
The rest of us are posting jokes here at Pixies. :(