I wanna be Johnny!!
 

Teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Little Johnny says: "I wanna be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, get me the finest bitch, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, and an Infinite Visa Card, while banging her three times a day".

The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Johnny, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson ...

"And how about you, Samantha?"

"I wanna be Johnny's bitch."

Ok...that one made me snort. lmfao

I'll pay that one, with interest.

Ya' gotta like ...... Samantha. Smart girl. :D

A women told her gynocologist that she kept finding stamps from Costa Rica in her vagina.

The amused doctor replied, "Those aren't postage stamps, they're the stickers on bananas".

Prayer for Gifts
 

Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents the week before Christmas. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs.

"I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE...
I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO...
I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR..."

His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf." To which the little brother replied, "No, but Grandma is!"

Now ... a couple of more "Pixie" jokes ... (Note: groaning permitted. :) )

-----

Q: How can you tell which is the head nurse?

A: She's the one with the dirty knees.

-----

Q: Which of the following words does not belong: meat, eggs, wife, blowjob.

A: Blowjob. You can beat your meat, eggs, and wife; but you can’t beat a blowjob.

funny funny funny boys!!!!
:thumb:

A man and his new bride check into a hotel, looking forward to their honeymoon. After they go upstairs the desk clerks looks up and sees the man walking downstairs with his tackle box and fishing pole. He walks out the door and is gone until nearly midnight.

Before dawn the next morning, once again the desk clerk sees the man walking out the door with his fishing pole and tackle box. He is gone all day and returns really late.

On the third day as the man walks down the stairs with his tackle box and fishing pole, the desk clerk stops him. The clerk can't stand it any longer and says to the man....

"Excuse me sir, but I understand you are on your honeymoon," He asks.

"Yes sir.." The man replies.

"Well, If my wife looked like that, I'd be upstairs in bed fucking her.." he says.

"I can't, she's got gonorrhea." the man replies casually.

"Okay, then how 'bout a little oral action from her?"

"Nope can't, she's got herpes."The man says calmly.

Agitated, the desk clerk says "Well, you could give it to her up the ass."

"Nope can't, she's got diarrhea."

Frustrated the desk clerk shouts "Well then what the hell did you marry her for?"

The man smiles....and says

"Well, she's got worms and I like fishing"

:eew:

oh well can't win them all...

and this is from a man who covets sheep lol

Gotta draw the line somewhere. lmao

Isn't that what started this?

Three guys were sitting in a bar talking. One was a Doctor, one was a Lawyer, and one was a Biker.

After a sip of his martini, the doctor said; "You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I got my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedez. I figure that if she doesn't like the diamond ring, she will at least like the Mercedez, and she will know that I love her."

After finishing his scotch, the lawyer replied; "Well, on my last anniversary, I got my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, she would at least like the trip, and she would know that I love her."

The Biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said; "Yah, well for my anniversary, I got my old lady a tee-shirt and a vibrator. I figured if she didn't like the tee-shirt, she could go fuck herself."

ALWAYS TIRED

A woman goes to her doctor complaining that she is
exhausted all the time.

After the diagnostic tests showed nothing, the doctor
gets around to asking her how often she has intercourse.

"Every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday," she says.

The doctor advises her to cut out Wednesday.

"I can't," says the woman. "That's the only night
I'm home with my husband!"