Blonde Test
 

Okay, I know I'll be in trouble ... but here goes ..

Yes, there'll be trouble in Pixieville tonight.

OMG you are a bad bad boy!! LOL!! :devilish:

Speaking of elephant trunks...
 

A man was on a first date with a woman at a restaurant. As they were sitting and talking, an elephant’s trunk comes up from under the table near the man and grabs a roll.

"What the hell was that?" said the woman.

"Well, " said the man, "I lost my penis in an accident and the doctor transplanted an elephant’s trunk in it’s place."

"That’s incredible" said the woman, "Can I see it?"

"A little later," said the man, "I don’t think my asshole can take another roll right now."

Any complaints?
 

Below is a copy of a letter that won a competition in UK as complaint letter of the year...have a laugh and read on.


Complaint Letter of the Year. The British do have a way with words.... A real-life customer complaint letter sent to NTL, a UK cable TV etc. ocmpany,(to their complaints dept....)


Dear Cretins,
I have been an NTL customer since 9th July 2001, when I signed up for
your 3-in-one deal for cable TV, cable modem, and telephone. During this
three-month period I have encountered inadequacy of service which I had
not previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and stupidity
of monolithic proportions. Please allow me to provide specific details,
so that you can either pursue your professional prerogative, and seek to
rectify these difficulties - or more likely (I suspect) so that you can
have some entertaining reading material as you while away the working
day smoking B&H and drinking vendor-coffee on the bog in your office:
My initial installation was cancelled without warning, resulting in my
spending an entire Saturday sitting on my fat arse waiting for your
technician to arrive. When he did not arrive, I spent a further 57
minutes listening to your infuriating hold music, and the even more
annoying Scottish robot woman telling me to look at your helpful
website....HOW?
I alleviated the boredom by playing with my testicles for a few minutes
- an activity at which you are no-doubt both familiar and highly adept.
The rescheduled installation then took place some two weeks later,
although the technician did forget to bring a number of vital tools -
such as a drill-bit, and his cerebrum. Two weeks later, my cable modem
had still not arrived. After 15 telephone calls over 4 weeks my modem
arrived... six weeks after I had requested it, and begun to pay for it.
I estimate your internet server's downtime is roughly 35%... hours
between about 6pm -midnight, Mon-Fri, and most of the weekend. I am
still waiting for my telephone connection. I have made 9 calls on my
mobile to your no-help line, and have been unhelpfully transferred to a
variety of disinterested individuals, who are it seems also highly
skilled bollock jugglers.
I have been informed that a telephone line is available (and someone
will call me back); that no telephone line is available (and someone
will call me back); that I will be transferred to someone who knows
whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been cut off);
that I will be transferred to someone (and then been redirected to an
answer machine informing me that your office is closed); that I will be
transferred to someone and then been redirected to the irritating
Scottish robot woman...and several other variations on this theme.
Doubtless you are no longer reading this letter, as you have at least a
thousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore, and also another one of
those crucially important testicle-moments to attend to. Frankly I don't
care, it's far more satisfying as a customer to voice my frustration's
in print than to shout them at your unending hold music. Forgive me,
therefore, if I continue.
I thought BT were shit, that they had attained the holy piss-pot of godawful
customer relations, that no-one, anywhere, ever, could be more
disinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service to
their customers. That's why I chose NTL, and because, well, there isn't
anyone else is there? How surprised I therefore was, when I discovered
to my considerable dissatisfaction and disappointment what a useless
shower of bastards you truly are. You are sputum-filled pieces of
distended rectum incompetents of the highest order.
British Telecom - wankers though they are - shine like brilliant beacons
of success, in the filthy puss-filled mire of your seemingly limitless
inadequacy. Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile and
foolhardy quest to receive any kind of service from you. I suggest that
you cease any potential future attempts to extort payment from me for
the services which you have so pointedly and catastrophically failed to
deliver - any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity and
disbelief quickly be replaced by derision, and even perhaps bemused
rage. I enclose two small deposits, selected with great care from my
cats litter tray, as an expression of my utter and complete contempt for
both you and your pointless company. I sincerely hope that they have not
become desiccated during transit - they were satisfyingly moist at the
time of posting, and I would feel considerable disappointment if you did
not experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture. Consider them
the very embodiment of my feelings towards NTL, and its worthless
employees.
Have a nice day - may it be the last in you miserable short life, you
irritatingly incompetent and infuriatingly unhelpful bunch of twats.

John

What an inconsiderate bastard!! He didn't even sign the letter "with love".

Some of these are so old ....

Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Q. Why do women call it PMS?
A. Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.

Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick.

Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it.

Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.

Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.

Q. What is the difference between "ooooooh"and "aaaaaaah"?
A. About three inches.

Q. What do you call a Lesbian with fat fingers?
A. Well-Hung.

Q. Why do Gay men wear ribbed condoms?
A. For traction in the mud.

Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.

Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A. 45 pounds.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A. Breasts don't have eyes.

Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A. The swallow.

Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.

Q. Why do most women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?
A. Because most men are stupid but few are blind.

Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A. They don't have balls to scratch.

This is so not funny..













What has 3 legs and lives on a farm?































The McCartney's :D

maybe its just me, but it made me laugh!

the refuse collector arrives at the chinese resteraunt to find the owner outside.

"Excuse me mate," he says "but where's ya bin?"
"Ohhhhh!!! I's bin to hong kong"
"No, no... where's your wheely bin?"
"ahhhh yes... I's wheely bin to hong kong"

Lil,

Are you trying to cast a Paul on this thread?

alspals69

Our version of that is

Billy- Where's ya bin?

Jacky- Holidays

Billy- No where's ya bin?

Jacky- Bloody holidays.

Billy- No, where's ya wheely bin?

Jacky- Jail!

Looks like nothing in this world is ever original.! Ah well.

One of my fave lines was from british comedian who was a bit corny a lot of the time...

"When i said i was going to be a comedian everyone laughed at me...well... there not laughing now"
Bob Monkhouse

Is that like the stand-up comic who quit because everyone was laughing at him?

actually he was pretty funny.. but he is implying that no one laughed at him after he became a comedian

I know, and enjoy Monkhouse.

Hard to go past the two Ronnies.

I thought you guys/gals might like this.





A man, returning home a day early from a business trip, got into a taxi
at the airport. It was after midnight. While en route to his home, he asked
the cabby if he would be a witness. The man suspected his wife was having an
affair and he intended to catch her in the act. For $100, the cabby agreed.

Quietly arriving at the house, the husband and cabby tiptoed into the
bedroom. The husband switched on the lights, yanked the blanket back and
there was his wife in bed with another man. The husband put a gun to the
naked man's head.

The wife shouted, "Don't do it! This man has been very generous! I lied
when I told you I inherited money. He paid for the Corvette I bought for you.
He paid for our new cabin cruiser. He paid for your Green Bay Packer season
tickets. He paid for our house at the lake. He paid for our country club
membership, and he even pays the monthly dues!"

Shaking his head from side-to-side the husband slowly lowered the gun. He
looked over at the cab driver and said, "What would you do?"

The cabby said, "I'd cover his ass up with that blanket before he catches
a cold."

Not quite PC, but......
 

During a visit to the Mental Asylum, a visitor asked what criterion defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.

"No." said the Director, "a normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a room with or without a view?"

(Hey, I work in this field....I'm allowed!)

DM

Charades, anyone?
 

A wee bit far to go, just for a game!!

DM

I'll be in SO much trouble for this!
 

But I can remember thinking this when I was married!!

DM

Warning!
 

Guys, you really need to curb that right hand!!

DM

Retribution?
 

In a lame effort to make up for "closeeyes"....... the perfect gift for the lady in your life?!?!

DM

NOT for cat lovers!!!
 

Sick, I know, but somehow quite amusing (I thought, anyway!)

DM

Last one......... for now!
 

And I'll probably be in trouble again! Ho hum!

DM

/me wanders out of the thread, whistling innocently

That's cute, DM. Terrific.

DB

Two Brooms
 

Two brooms were hanging in the closet. After a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married. One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom.

The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely.

After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom, "I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!

"IMPOSSIBLE!" said the groom broom.



























"WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!"

Not-so-dumb Blonde!
 

A blonde walks into a bank in London and asks to see the Manager. She says
she's going to Hong Kong on business for two weeks and needs to borrow
5,000. The Manager says the bank will need some kind of security for the
loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Ferrari.

The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and
everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for
the loan. The Manager and the tellers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde
for using a £200,000 Ferrari as collateral against a £5,000 loan. An
Employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Ferrari into the bank's
underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the £5,000 and interest which
comes to £15.41. The Manager says, "Miss, we are very happy To have had your
business and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a
little puzzled. While you were away, we Checked you out and found that you
are a millionairess. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow
£5,000?"

The blonde replies...

Where else in London can I park my car for two weeks for only £15.41 and
expect it to be there when I return?"

A few to make up for the LAST thread!!
 

Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children? She heard that one out of every four children born in the world was Chinese.



**************************************************

Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall? There was a power outage, and twelve blondes were stuck on the escalators for over

Four hours.



**************************************************

A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she

took it to a repair shop The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun.



He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.



So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a

Little harder, and still nothing happened.



Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?"



The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.



The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first."



**************************************************

A blonde went to an eye doctor to have her eyes checked for glasses.



The doctor directed her to read various letters with the left eye while covering the right eye. The blonde was so mixed up on which eye

was which that the eye doctor, in disgust, took a paper lunch bag with a hole to see through, covered up the appropriate eye and asked

her to read the letters.



As he did so, he noticed the blonde had tears streaming down her face.



"Look," said the doctor, "there's no need to get emotional about getting glasses."



"I know," agreed the blonde, "But I kind of had my heart set on wire frames.



**************************************************

A blonde was shopping at a Target Store and came across a silver thermos.



She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and brought it over to the clerk to ask what it was. The clerk said, "That's a

thermos. It keeps some things hot and some things cold"



"Wow, said the blonde, "that's amazing. I'm going to buy it!"



So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day. Her boss saw it on her desk.



"What do you have there?" he asked.



"Why, that's a thermos. It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold," she replied.



Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?"



The blond replied, "Two Popsicles, and some coffee".



**************************************************

A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls, and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde.



The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf

balls".



Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer,

asked,



"Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"



*************************************************

A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife, Susie, something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decided to buy

her a cell phone. He showed her the phone and explained to her all of its features. Susie was excited to receive the gift and simply

adored her new phone.



The next day Susie went shopping. Her phone rang and, to her astonishment, it was her husband on the other end. "Hi Susie,"

he said, "how do you like your new phone?"



Susie replied, "I just love it! It's so small and your voice is clear as a bell, but there's one thing I don't understand though..."



"What's that, sweetie?" asked her husband.



"How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?"


Apologies to all blonde Pixies.... I got it SENT to me, honest!!

DM

INEXPENSIVE ALARM SYSTEM
> >
> > Go to a second-hand store, buy a pair of men's used work boots --
> > a really big pair.
> >
> > Put them outside your front door on top of a copy of "Guns and
Ammo"
> > magazine (you don't have to actually OWN guns, to do this).
> >
> > Put a dog dish beside it. A really BIG dog dish.
> >
> > Leave a note on your front door that says something like:
> >
> > "Bubba, big Mike and I have gone to get more ammunition -- back in
½
>hr.
> > Don't disturb the Pit-Bulls; they've just been de-wormed."
> >
> > _

A Man and His Bird
 

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich. A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $9.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries, and a coke." The ostrich says, "I'll have the same." Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change. This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitress. "No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato, and salad," says the man. "Same," says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62." Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table. The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"

"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.

The waitress asks, "But, sir, what's with the ostrich?"

The man sighs, pauses, and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say."

Another 'Genie' joke - only BLONDE!
 

What Happens When You Get A Blonde Genie?


A white guy is walking along a beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand. He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub.

Two blonde genies appear, and they tell him he has been granted three wishes. The guy makes his three wishes and the blonde genies disappear.

The next thing the guy knows, he's in a bedroom, in a mansion surrounded by 50 beautiful women. He makes love to all of them and begins to explore the house.Suddenly he feels something soft under his feet, he looks down and the floor is covered in $1,000 bills.

Then, there's a knock at the door. He answers it and standing there are two persons dressed in Ku Klux Klan outfits. They drag him outside to the nearest tree, throw a rope over a limb and hang him by the neck until he's
dead. As the Klansmen are walking away, they remove their hoods; it's the two blonde genies.



One blonde genie says to the other one,

"I can understand the first wish having all these beautiful women in a big mansion to make love to. I can also understand him wanting to be a millionaire.

But why he wanted to be hung like a black man is beyond me".

Onions & Christmas Trees!
 

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father,

"Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?

The father, surprised, answers,

"Well, son, there're three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a women's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."

"Onions?"

"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said,

"Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?"

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers,

"Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his twenties, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."

"A Christmas tree?"

"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only."

Here's an Irish story......
> Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and
most of
>the night.
>Mick, the bartender, said to him, "You'll not be drinking any more
tonight,
>Paddy".
> Paddy replied "OK, Mick, I'll be on my way then".
>
>Paddy spun around on his stool and stepped off. He fell flat on his
face.
>"Shoite" he said, and pulled himself up by the bar stool and dusted
himself
>off. He took a step towards the door and fell flat on his face again.
>Shoite, Shoite!" He looked toward the doorway and thought to himself,
"If
>I can just get to the door and get some fresh air, I'll be fine." He
belly
>crawled to the door and shimmied up to the door frame. He stuck his
head
>outside and took a deep breath of fresh air. Immediately, he felt much
>better and took a step out onto the pavement. Plop. He fell flat on
his
>face again. "Bi'Jesus... I'm fockin' focked," Paddy said, wondering
what
>was wrong.
> He could see his house just a few doors down, so he crawled down
the
>street to the front door and shimmied up to the doorway. Then he
opened
>the door and wringled inside. He took a look up the stairs and said,
"No
>fockin' way". But finally, with great effort, he crawled up the
stairs to
>his bedroom door, and using the door frame to stand up, he decided, "I
can
>make it to the bed". He took a step into the room and fell flat on
his
>face.
>
>"Fock this," he said, "I gotta stop drinking," and fell into bed.
> The next morning, his wife, Jess, came into the bedroom carrying a
cup
>of coffee. She said to him, "Time to get up, Paddy. Did you have a
bit to
>drink last night?"
> Paddy replied, "That I did, Jess. I was fockin' pissed. But how'd
you
>know?"
>
> "Mick called......You left your wheelchair at the pub."
>

Lolol Slds!

A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live
on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores.
>
"Not yet," said the little boy. His mother tells him
he can't have any breakfast until he does his chores.
Well, he's a little ticked off, so he goes to feed the
chickens, and kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the
cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs,
and he kicks a pig. He goes back in for breakfast and
his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.
>
"How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I
have milk in my cereal?"
>
"Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick the chicken,
so you don't get any eggs for a week.
I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon for
a week either. I also saw you kick the cow, so for a
week you aren't getting any milk."
>
Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and
kicks the pussycat as he's walking into the kitchen.
>
The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile,
and says, "Are you going to tell him, or should I?"

An Indiana farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her pet dog always moaned just before the phone rang.

The telephone repairperson proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile elderly woman. He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone did not ring right away, but then the dog moaned loudly and the telephone began to ring.

Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairperson found:

1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire via a steel chain and collar.

2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.

3. Thus the dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current each time the phone number was dialed.

4. After a couple of such jolts, the dog would start moaning and consequently urinate on himself as well as the surrounding ground.

5. The wet ground completed the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring which of course demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.

Subject: New Hunting Dog
>>
>>
>>
>>Chester and Earl are going hunting. Chester says to Earl, "I'll send my
>>Dog Out to see if there are any ducks out in the pond. If there aren't
>>any ducks out there, I'm not going hunting."
>>So he sends the dog out to the pond. The dog comes back and barks twice.
>>Chester says, "Well I'm not going to go out. He only saw two ducks
>>out There."
>>Earl says, "You're going to take the dog's barks for the truth?"
>>Earl doesn't believe it, so he goes to look for himself. When he gets
>>back He says, "I don't believe it---where did you get that dog? There
>>really Are Only two ducks out there!"
>>Chester says, "Well, I got him from the breeder up the road. If you
>>want, You can get one from him, too."
>>So Earl goes to the breeder and says he wants a dog like the one his
>>Friend Chester has.
>>The breeder obliges and Earl brings the dog home, tells it to go out
>>and Look for ducks. Minutes later the dog returns with a stick in it's
>>mouth And Starts humping Earl's leg. Outraged, Earl takes the dog back
>>to the Breeder And Says, "This dog is a fraud. I want my money back!"
>>The breeder asks Earl what the dog did. So Earl tells him that when
>>he Sent The dog out to look for ducks, it came back with a stick in it's
>>mouth and Started humping his leg.
>>The breeder says, "Earl, all he was trying to tell you was that there
>>are More fucking ducks out there than you can shake a stick at!

LMAO. That's funny! Thanks.

Subject: Intelligent People



Bush meets with the Queen of England. He asks her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?" "Well," says the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people." Bush frowns. "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?" The Queen takes a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligence riddle. "The Queen pushes a button on her intercom. "Please send Tony Blair in here, would you?" Tony Blair walks into the room. "Yes, my Queen?" The Queen smiles, then says "Answer me this, please, Tony. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?" Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answers, "That would be me." "Yes! Very good," says the Queen.



Back at the White House, Bush asks to speak with vice president Dick Cheney. "Dick, answer this for me. Your mother and your Father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?" "I'm not sure," says the vice president. "Let me get back to you on that one." Dick Cheney goes to his advisors and asks every one, but none can give him an answer. Finally, he ends up in the men's room and recognizes Colin Powell's shoes in the next stall. Dick shouts, "Colin! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?" Colin Powell yells back, "That's easy. It's me!" Dick Cheney smiles and says "Thanks!" Cheney goes back to the Oval Office and to speak with Bush. "Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Colin Powell."



Bush gets up, stomps over to Dick Cheney, and angrily yells into his face, "No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!

Heheheheh