To be or not to be ... horny is the question.

Guido is a great name...

Guido is a great name for someone that plays on the Sopranos.


A day at the amusement park is....

A day at the amusement park is....is especially amusing for the park owners on their way to the bank.

A walk in the rain can be fun ...

A walk in the rain can be fun if you learn to dodge the lightening.


It's so great leaving in Florida if you....

Its so great living in Florida if. if you learn to dodge the golf carts.


Neighbors can bee so helplful

Neighbours can be so helpful, if not for them I'd never know how much I hate Ja Rule.

Exercise is fun

Exercise is fun when you get all sweaty and stinky and everything aches.

Fall is a time for picnics

Fall is a time for picnics....wind, rain, and plunging temperatures make the food taste so much better!


Please hold, all our customer service representatives are busy right now.

Please hold, all our customer service representatives are busy right now...or call someone else who gives a shit.

Welcome to our neighborhood ...

Welcome to our neighborhood ... but don't get feeling to comfortable because it's about time for you to leave.



This beautiful figurine is ONLY $79.99.

This beautiful figurine is ONLY $79.99 ... which is only $78.99 over cost.

I long for peace.

I long for peace.....or at least a new President.


I enjoy going to the dentist...

I enjoy going to the dentist...since it saves on having to buy new tooth brushes or dental floss.

I like washing the car ...

I like washing the car ... especially when it rains right after I do it.


I love going to the gym...

I love going to the gym...with the glory holes between the dressing rooms and all.

I love meetings ...