Nursery Rhymes
 

This might be fun ... take an ol' nursery rhyme and alter it a bit to give it a "Pixie" flavor. Can be short or long ... for example:

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
When Jack came down
He had a frown,
Cuz' Jill left with Mad Hatter. :yikes:


or


Here comes Peter Cottontail,
Humping pretty Paulie's tail,
Pumping very quickly and quite fast.

Now he's getting all flushed red,
I think he's 'bout to soak the bed,
Just ain't no way that bunny's gonna' last.

Little Paulie's on the edge,
Moaning there right on the bed,
I think she's drained our Peter's poor ol' mast.

Now the story's almost done,
They're cleaning up the gooey cum,
I suspect, tho', this time will not be their last.

Oh, the entire text of PD Eastman's kids' book, "Snow" is hilarious if you merely replace the word "snow" witht he word "sex".

A couple examples:
"Sex is good for me and you. Men and women. Horses, too."

"Sex is good. It lets you slide. it lets you give your dog a ride."

Old Mother Hubbard,

went to the cupboard to fetch her poor dog a bone.

When she bent over Rover took over.

And gave her a bone of his own.



""stolen" by me lol :o

Jack and Jill went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water.
Jill came down with half a crown
and now she has a daughter.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the Kings horsemen
And all the King's men
Said "Fuck it" and had omelette.

Baa baa black sheep, how long is your polel?
Long enough, long enough to in fit her hole.
Once in my mistress, once in the dame,
And once in that sexy ewe who lives
Down the lane.

Roses are red that much is true,
But violets are purple,
Not fucking blue.





Jack be nimble
Jack be quick
Jack jump over the candlestick
If Jack's so nimble
and Jack's so quick
Why is he in the hospital with a lil burnt dick

Itsy Bitsy spider climbing up her leg,
Down came some moisture, he looked up for the keg,
Then came the creamy stuff and covered all of him
Now he's wrapped in Kleenex and in the garbage bin..

Jack Sprat could eat no fat
His wife could have no lean
Oral sex was not to be and so
they both got mean.... :argue:

Hey, diddle diddle, I had to go piddle,
And I really had to do it quite soon,
But my ornery wife tickled my sides,
And I thought I'd flood the whole room.

Stroke her, stroke her, get her high,
Arch her back up to the sky.
When she cums, then hold her tight,
Warm each other through the night.

Jack be horny
Jack be firm
Jack humped Jill
Behind the berm.

Pat a Boob
 

Pat a boob, pat a boob, horny man,
Squeeze it and massage it fast as you can;
Suck it and lick it and tease it you see,
And it'll be warmed up for your baby ... ME. :D

Mary Mary was with Harry,
Amazed how his package grew ...
She held it just a little bit
And licked it to savor it's dew.

Peter's Peter was called his Dick ..
His wife, though, called it Joe.
That sounded strange .. her simple pet name
Till he found that Joe was her beau.

:yikes: