Lilith
11-09-2002, 10:02 AM
By Cynthia Billhartz and Carol M. Ostrom
St. Louis Post-Dispatch and The Seattle Times
It's a taboo topic, but one that parents, educators and health-care providers have been discussing quietly for the past couple of years and with a greater degree of urgency.
Many teenagers — and even children as young as middle school — are having oral sex. Some of them don't think of it as real sex. And many are unaware that it can be dangerous.
Things every teen — and parent — should know
• While the risk of contracting most sexually transmitted diseases through oral sex is significantly less than with intercourse, experts say it can't be considered totally "safe" sex. "The risk isn't zero," says Dr. Hunter Handsfield, a nationally known leader in STD prevention who works with the University of Washington and Public Health — Seattle & King County.
• Herpes simplex virus type 1, which is normally found in or around the mouth in the form of a cold sore, is causing an increasing proportion of genital herpes cases, probably because of the increasing frequency of oral sex among young people, says Handsfield. Likewise, STDs normally found in the genital tract can be transmitted to the mouth and throat during oral sex.
• Teens are more susceptible to sexually transmitted diseases because of a lack of immunity, says Dr. Bradley Stoner, an infectious-disease specialist at Washington University. "It's thought that the first exposures to a pathogen may cause the most harm because your body hasn't seen it before."
• People infected with STDs, such as herpes, may not detect symptoms for some time and could unknowingly pass them on to others through oral sex.
• Some STDs, such as herpes and HIV, are incurable. Symptoms can be controlled with medications, but those infected will always have the disease and will have to tell future partners about the disease in order to prevent its spread.
— St. Louis Post-Dispatch and The Seattle Times
Health-care professionals and educators say frank discussion and useful information concerning oral sex should be shared in classrooms, at community forums, and, to be sure, at home. But not everyone sees it that way.
Sex talk has long been difficult in a family setting, and at school, where some parents feel it doesn't belong. With that mindset, teachers and administrators often tread lightly when it comes to sex-education classes; in terms of oral sex, they'll answer questions students might have but not necessarily introduce the topic themselves.
But oral sex has been magnified in other venues. The Bill Clinton-Monica Lewinsky scandal put the topic on the front pages of the nation's newspapers and on television. Since then, stories about teens and oral sex have surfaced in teen magazines and television shows. Recent surveys indicate that a significant number of youths engage in oral sex. In doing so, they risk contracting sexually transmitted diseases such as the herpes virus and HIV, the virus that can cause AIDS.
Less obvious, but potentially devastating as well, can be the psychological effects. In many instances, it's the girl who is providing oral sex to the boy as a way of starting or maintaining a relationship. Many boys speak of oral sex as a way of having fun while avoiding intimacy. Health professionals say those attitudes do not auger well for meaningful relationships later in life.
'Light' sex
No one can say with certainty whether today's teens are engaging in oral sex more than previous generations. But studies have established that a lot of it is going on.
In a survey of teens conducted last year by the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation with Seventeen magazine, 23 percent of students questioned in seventh through 12th grade said they had had oral sex. In 11th and 12th grade the number increased to 42 percent. The survey also found that 38 percent of teens did not think oral sex was as big a deal as sexual intercourse. And 30 percent didn't know that a boy or girl could become infected with HIV by having oral sex.
Some of those findings are consistent with interviews the St. Louis Post-Dispatch has conducted over the past year with teens, parents, teachers and health-care professionals. The teenagers were promised anonymity and false names in exchange for open discussion.
Just a few teens acknowledged that they've had oral sex. But most say they have friends who have talked about doing it and that the practice is common. Estimates from the teens range from a quarter to a third of students at their schools.
Even so, some teens wonder why all the fuss.
Scott, 15, said he hasn't had oral sex, but, "Me and my friends don't think of it as a really big deal," he said. "It's really quick and less serious (than intercourse). And you don't really have to like a girl."
Julie, 16, a sophomore, has had oral sex and says it's "not fun." But she says, "It seems like when you are in a relationship, it's just what they want."
Interviews with teens in Seattle reveal similarities in attitudes, including the pressure girls say they feel from boys. (Local teens' names were also changed.)
"It's 'You like me, so why don't you give me oral sex?' " said Amy, 14, a ninth-grader at a Seattle high school. "You want guys to like you, so you think maybe if you do it, they'll like you."
But Amy says she's "not into that."
"Girls I know who have done that, their reputation changes," she said. "If a guy does it, they don't say anything about it. But if a girl does it, that's when they start saying she's nasty and stuff."
Daniel, 17, a Seattle senior, said his friends think oral sex is "pretty cool, pretty trendy." Technically, he said, he believes a person could be a virgin and be engaging in oral sex. But he believes it's "disrespect toward both sexes," especially since "the boy is just using (the girl) for his pleasure."
Richard, 14 a Seattle freshman, says one friend insists he's had it "over 30 times." Does he believe him? "No," Richard said. But he hedges his bet: "I say, 'Watch, you're going to get AIDS.' "
Unlike some of his peers, Richard is clear that "oral sex is sex, period. I know that clear and plain." He talks with his mom and dad about sex, he said, and with his older brothers, most often with the one closest to him in age. "We talk about (oral sex) all the time," he said. "He tells me not to do it. Because he doesn't want me to get AIDS or anything."
Richard said his friends "think I'm corny because I don't do it. ... They laugh at me."
Parents get their information filtered mostly through their children. There was the story of seventh-graders caught having oral sex in a school bathroom; of a group of ninth-graders caught after school at the home of parents who are away during the day.
For some, that leads to conversations that are troubling — like the one Gail Dabler had with her daughter about her friends' experiences.
"Some of my daughter's friends felt really used," said Dabler, a St. Louis area school nurse. "They felt really uncomfortable, but they did it to feel popular and accepted.The boys were trying to convince them that it wasn't going all the way, that this was 'light' sex."
St. Louis Post-Dispatch and The Seattle Times
It's a taboo topic, but one that parents, educators and health-care providers have been discussing quietly for the past couple of years and with a greater degree of urgency.
Many teenagers — and even children as young as middle school — are having oral sex. Some of them don't think of it as real sex. And many are unaware that it can be dangerous.
Things every teen — and parent — should know
• While the risk of contracting most sexually transmitted diseases through oral sex is significantly less than with intercourse, experts say it can't be considered totally "safe" sex. "The risk isn't zero," says Dr. Hunter Handsfield, a nationally known leader in STD prevention who works with the University of Washington and Public Health — Seattle & King County.
• Herpes simplex virus type 1, which is normally found in or around the mouth in the form of a cold sore, is causing an increasing proportion of genital herpes cases, probably because of the increasing frequency of oral sex among young people, says Handsfield. Likewise, STDs normally found in the genital tract can be transmitted to the mouth and throat during oral sex.
• Teens are more susceptible to sexually transmitted diseases because of a lack of immunity, says Dr. Bradley Stoner, an infectious-disease specialist at Washington University. "It's thought that the first exposures to a pathogen may cause the most harm because your body hasn't seen it before."
• People infected with STDs, such as herpes, may not detect symptoms for some time and could unknowingly pass them on to others through oral sex.
• Some STDs, such as herpes and HIV, are incurable. Symptoms can be controlled with medications, but those infected will always have the disease and will have to tell future partners about the disease in order to prevent its spread.
— St. Louis Post-Dispatch and The Seattle Times
Health-care professionals and educators say frank discussion and useful information concerning oral sex should be shared in classrooms, at community forums, and, to be sure, at home. But not everyone sees it that way.
Sex talk has long been difficult in a family setting, and at school, where some parents feel it doesn't belong. With that mindset, teachers and administrators often tread lightly when it comes to sex-education classes; in terms of oral sex, they'll answer questions students might have but not necessarily introduce the topic themselves.
But oral sex has been magnified in other venues. The Bill Clinton-Monica Lewinsky scandal put the topic on the front pages of the nation's newspapers and on television. Since then, stories about teens and oral sex have surfaced in teen magazines and television shows. Recent surveys indicate that a significant number of youths engage in oral sex. In doing so, they risk contracting sexually transmitted diseases such as the herpes virus and HIV, the virus that can cause AIDS.
Less obvious, but potentially devastating as well, can be the psychological effects. In many instances, it's the girl who is providing oral sex to the boy as a way of starting or maintaining a relationship. Many boys speak of oral sex as a way of having fun while avoiding intimacy. Health professionals say those attitudes do not auger well for meaningful relationships later in life.
'Light' sex
No one can say with certainty whether today's teens are engaging in oral sex more than previous generations. But studies have established that a lot of it is going on.
In a survey of teens conducted last year by the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation with Seventeen magazine, 23 percent of students questioned in seventh through 12th grade said they had had oral sex. In 11th and 12th grade the number increased to 42 percent. The survey also found that 38 percent of teens did not think oral sex was as big a deal as sexual intercourse. And 30 percent didn't know that a boy or girl could become infected with HIV by having oral sex.
Some of those findings are consistent with interviews the St. Louis Post-Dispatch has conducted over the past year with teens, parents, teachers and health-care professionals. The teenagers were promised anonymity and false names in exchange for open discussion.
Just a few teens acknowledged that they've had oral sex. But most say they have friends who have talked about doing it and that the practice is common. Estimates from the teens range from a quarter to a third of students at their schools.
Even so, some teens wonder why all the fuss.
Scott, 15, said he hasn't had oral sex, but, "Me and my friends don't think of it as a really big deal," he said. "It's really quick and less serious (than intercourse). And you don't really have to like a girl."
Julie, 16, a sophomore, has had oral sex and says it's "not fun." But she says, "It seems like when you are in a relationship, it's just what they want."
Interviews with teens in Seattle reveal similarities in attitudes, including the pressure girls say they feel from boys. (Local teens' names were also changed.)
"It's 'You like me, so why don't you give me oral sex?' " said Amy, 14, a ninth-grader at a Seattle high school. "You want guys to like you, so you think maybe if you do it, they'll like you."
But Amy says she's "not into that."
"Girls I know who have done that, their reputation changes," she said. "If a guy does it, they don't say anything about it. But if a girl does it, that's when they start saying she's nasty and stuff."
Daniel, 17, a Seattle senior, said his friends think oral sex is "pretty cool, pretty trendy." Technically, he said, he believes a person could be a virgin and be engaging in oral sex. But he believes it's "disrespect toward both sexes," especially since "the boy is just using (the girl) for his pleasure."
Richard, 14 a Seattle freshman, says one friend insists he's had it "over 30 times." Does he believe him? "No," Richard said. But he hedges his bet: "I say, 'Watch, you're going to get AIDS.' "
Unlike some of his peers, Richard is clear that "oral sex is sex, period. I know that clear and plain." He talks with his mom and dad about sex, he said, and with his older brothers, most often with the one closest to him in age. "We talk about (oral sex) all the time," he said. "He tells me not to do it. Because he doesn't want me to get AIDS or anything."
Richard said his friends "think I'm corny because I don't do it. ... They laugh at me."
Parents get their information filtered mostly through their children. There was the story of seventh-graders caught having oral sex in a school bathroom; of a group of ninth-graders caught after school at the home of parents who are away during the day.
For some, that leads to conversations that are troubling — like the one Gail Dabler had with her daughter about her friends' experiences.
"Some of my daughter's friends felt really used," said Dabler, a St. Louis area school nurse. "They felt really uncomfortable, but they did it to feel popular and accepted.The boys were trying to convince them that it wasn't going all the way, that this was 'light' sex."