really need some help

[aflyerfan]

I cant believe I am asking here,but I know I will get some good advice from the good people here.
Here is my situation, I am 36 my now ex girl is 22. She just broke up with me,but I know she still cares about me. To make a long story short her best friend just moved back to the area a few months ago,I know she told my g/f that she is way too young to be with me,before this time she was at my house everyday,we did everything together and she was my best friend.
I know she still cares but i think the pressure of her friends got to her,I love this women with all my heart,do I let her go? or try and get her back. It would take patience on my part(which I have little of). Most of my friends and hers tell me she will be back,do I wait? Im not getting any younger. Good,honest advice will be appreciated.

[Lilith]

People don't leave just because someone else asked them to. Millions of smacked about wives have proven that.

Sounds like she needs space....so give it to her. Let her go. If she wants to come back later and you are not involved with someone then, it will happen. Otherwise you need to move on or at least act like you are. If you don't chase....she won't run;) Good Luck hun!

[Wildeye]

Lilith's advice is good.

You either play it coll and offish - no contact and she might come to you or at least phone..or you chase or even why not talk to her and try to find out what it was that made her decide to finish the relationship. the last one needs tact - you do not ewant it to be interrogation, nor justification, nor pressure to see you again and neither do you want your own emotions hurt.

Good luck

i hope it works out for the best.

Andrew

[aflyerfan]

Wildeye and Lilith,those were both great answers. I appreciate the help,I think I gotta go with the leave her alone approach. I really thought I would get more advice,but what I got helped. Thanks again. I have been in Vegas for a week so I have a lot of catching up to do.

[true_casanova]

you have to make her want to come back to you. if u go after her, well, she'll know she has u and not only will she be less attracted (every woman loves the man she cant control) but if she does want to go back, she'll take her dear sweet time doin so

but this only goes so far. she's not going to beg. this is where u have to pay attentoin. she may not come out right and say it, but she will tell u when she wants back. and when she does u need to open the door w/ a romantic gesture - it doesnt have to be 12 roses - but one or two should send the message.

these are good rules to live by - but most importantly u need to pay attention to whats goin on and decide for urself whats right. u know this girl a lot better than we do - so at least keep in mind what feels right

[aflyerfan]

Thanks casanova,even more great advice. I new the pixies folks would steer me in the right direction. Thanks again

[Steph]

Also, would you want to be with someone who is so easily swayed by a friend? I certainly wouldn't!

[Missy1965]

I have also been going through the same things soft of. I am a 37 yeard old woman amd my guy is 41. However, he currently involved with alot in his life work, coaching sports etc. When we first got involved it was clear that he had commitments but it has been over two years and in that time we have become very close in every aspect. The problem is I am feeling left out. I want more of his attention and just don't feel like I am getting it so I have been giving him in a round about way ultimatims which i probably shouldn't do. All that has become of it is that I am pushing this man away instead of getting what i hoped for, It has nothing to do with him not caring for me but I still take it personal and i shouldn't. I have noticed that if you push too hard you can lose. Try to be patient, I know it is difficult to do trust me but if you guys are meant to be together it will work out on it's own. Good Luck to you I only wish I could follow my own advice.

[Murphy]

Aflyerfan, I am reminded of the parable of the little bird - if you let it go and it flies away, it was never yours to begin with, but if it returns, it will be yours forever.