The sages of Pixieville.

[PantyFanatic]

This seems to be the center of all wisdom. I have questions and I’m sure others do too.:confused:
Clint’s profound question about the half empty/full glass has caused me to ask the many questions I’ve had for a long time.

Post the conundrums of life that has perplexed you and prepare to gather the pearls that roll forth from Pixieville.:rolleyes:


Here’s a couple of my first queries.:cool:

1.- After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?:confused:

2.- Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?:confused:

[scotzoidman]

How come Superman stands there with his arms crossed while the bad guys shoots at him, but when he runs out of bullets & throws the gun at him, HE DUCKS?

[Eros]

Lets see...for PF's questions..
1. it depends on what their mom and dad's say
2. he has it waxed

Scoz, Supes is a nancy-boy...everyone knows Batman is the "bad mutha-fucka of the Justice League

[dicksbro]

Why does the "Land of the Free" cost so much?

How is "Self Service" different from "No Service?"

Baseball players earn millions each year to shrinking audiences and are thinking of striking for more ... while firemen, nurses, police officers and garbage men earn only a few thousand at a time of growing need and aren't allowed to strike. How does this make sense, again?

[MilkToast]

I've kept a list of these as I have come across them... here are some of my favorites:

- If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

- Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

- Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

- Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

- You know how most packages say "Open here?" What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

- Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of drive-up ATMs?

- Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

- You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

- Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

[Coach Knight]

How come the more money someone makes, the more they say something is not about the money???

CK

[skipthisone]

Why is that your feet smell and you nose runs????

[Coach Knight]

Why is it that the more food you order at McDonald's the cheaper it is?
Like the value meals that include the Huge Soda and XLarge Fries is cheaper than a sandwich and small soda.

[scotzoidman]

I got one...why do people nod their heads at the drive-thru speaker...it's like gesturing with your hands to the person you're on the phone with...

[Reesa]

How about, why do they chain down the pen in the bank, but leave the vault door open?

[Thinker]

Ok here we go

Dicksbro
1: Because the land of the free hasn't been free for a century.
2:Full Service = Gas station, Gas pumps, Gas Jocky
Self Service = Gas station, Gas pumps, No Gas Jocky
No Service = No Gas station, No Gas Pumps, No Gas Jocky

MilkToast
1: Adhesive
2: I think you can use a state ID as well
3: Because English is a crappy language
4: Interstate is a type of road, it doesn't have to go through more than one state
5: Chainsaw time ; )
6: Engineers that know to much and think to little
7: I don't, but for people who do I guess it helps them concentrate
8: It would be way to heavy to fly
9: See, #3 or #6, which ever floats your boat.

Coach Knight
1: Phsyiclogical re-assurance that it isn't about the money.
2: Special orders mean more hassle and more work, hence more money

skipthisone
1: Because they'er in my stuffy shoes.
2: My nose isn't running, if it was it would probably be due to a cold.

scotzoidman
1: It is somthing they do when they are talking to people, and they don't notice that they are doing it even though they can't be seen by the other person

Reesa
1: This one is easy, Stupidity

[GermanSteve]

Why is so much month left at the end of the money? :D

[MilkToast]

Thinker,
OK... good answers... of course that leads to the questions... why answer "why" questions.... :)

as for:
4: Interstate is a type of road, it doesn't have to go through more than one state

sorry... I won't take that as valid... maybe some partial credit, but not too much... as per Webster's dictionary:

interstate: of, connecting, or existing between two or more states especially of the U.S.

so an Interstate Highway would have a real hard time occuring in Hawaii :)

yeah yeah.... pick pick...

bye now....

-Toast

[PantyFanatic]

We humbly accept you wisdom to our quandaries. Could your benevolence enlighten further query?:(

1. If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?:whiteghos

2. We know the speed of light is 2.998 x 10^8 m/sec, but what is the speed of dark?:confused:

3. Why does your turban come to a point?:eek:

[Nice Guy]

isn't the speed of light 3.68 x 10^8 m/sec

[legend]

Originally posted by Nice Guy
isn't the speed of light 3.68 x 10^8 m/sec

no


and i tend to think that since darkness is the absence of light, that it's speed would be the rate of retreat of light....or in other words, the same speed as light approx 3*10^8 m/s

[dicksbro]

Hmmmmm ...

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

[Scarecrow]

??????

why is there Air?

what keeps us from falling of the earth?

is the North Pole truely north??

[Sugarsprinkles]

If the opposite of PRO is CON.....................

Then the opposite of PROGRESS must be CONGRESS!!!

[PantyFanatic]

Amen!

LMAO @ SS

[scotzoidman]

Originally posted by Scarecrow
??????
what keeps us from falling of the earth?
I know this one!

There is no such thing as gravity...

The world just sucks....

[Scarecrow]

Oh great the whole world sucks and I need a blow job

[jennaflower]

LOL @ Scotzoidman... I think you just created a true scientific theory..

tho my scientific theory suggests that if every man was getting a blow job at the same time, this would be a very happy world to live in...

Scarecrow... how about you allow me to use you as my first volunteer to see if I can prove/disprove my theory????

any other volunteers?

[Sugarsprinkles]

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person drives a race car not called a racist?


Isn't Disneyland a people trap operated by a mouse?


If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

[Scarecrow]

Jennahoney I'll gladly let you try out your theory and take as long as is needed.

[asomihite]

Originally posted by Sugarsprinkles
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

This is such a common misunderstanding. Evolution DOES NOT suggest that humans evolved from monkeys and apes. Humans, monkeys, and apes are all primates, and all evolved from a common ancestor.

[asomihite]

Originally posted by pantyfanatic
Clint’s profound question about the half empty/full glass has caused me to ask the many questions I’ve had for a long time.

It's not really a matter of whether the glass is half full or half empty. The fact of the matter is that the glass is just too big. :)

[asomihite]

Jesus is coming and he better clean it up!

[SilverFianna]

What happens on a hot day?

[Sugarsprinkles]

Originally posted by Sugarsprinkles

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?


Originally posted by asomihite


This is such a common misunderstanding. Evolution DOES NOT suggest that humans evolved from monkeys and apes. Humans, monkeys, and apes are all primates, and all evolved from a common ancestor.

'Twas meant as a joke, dear asomihite! :D:D

[Nikki]

Things your Mamma never told you:

What came first.......the chicken or the egg........?

Damn.........I have no idea......

[BIBI]

as to the question what came first the chicken or the egg

My daughter at the age of seven answered this question in a song she made up one day........after i had explained where eggs came from..........


Sitting in the bathtub.....7 years old.....singing away

She sang

Are you ready for this?

I nearly pissed my pants laughing!

She sang......

OH THE ROOSTER LAID THE CHICKEN AND THE CHICKEN LAID THE EGG

over and over again LMAO

watch your fly boys......I have a wicked tongue :fly:

[Scarecrow]

Is outside-in the same as inside-out????

[scotzoidman]

People say something is out of whack - what the hell is whack?

[Oldfart]

Scotz, you'd have to ask whacker.

Inside out is you've burst, outside in means you've climbed up

your own rectum.

Which one came first? Check for nicotine stains.

Monkeys and Apes are still disputing Mr Darwin's conclusion.

My own take...

Why is it that when it's all said and done, it usually isn't?

[PantyFanatic]

I know that only with all the talent here in Pixieville, can I find the answer to, what would a chair look like if our knees bent the other way?

[BIBI]

I know what that chair would look like........but I can't tell you for I have been sworn to secrecy!

[Oldfart]

PantyFanatic

When was the last time you were on a see-saw?

Think of that with backward knees.

[BigBear57]

I Like the old George Carlin line: If a man is in the forest alone talking, and there's no woman to hear him.... is he still wrong?
Ohhhhhhh and if the reseach team is interested... I'll clear my schedule :-)

[hotgirl4u2nite]

Why is there the little tag on matresses and pillows that commands, "Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law!" Is there a mattress and pillow police squad ready and waiting to drag us away kicking and screaming? ha ha ha

[hotgirl4u2nite]

I've got another on.....why do they call it a "blow job" if you're really sucking?

[Scarecrow]

Yes hg4u2n there is a matresse tag police, so do NOT remove that tag.

[gekkogecko]

If animal shelters are a place where one puts stray animals, what are bomb shelters?

If bomb shelters are a place where one goes when bombs explode, what are animal shelters?

[gekkogecko]

Originally posted by hotgirl4u2nite
Why is there the little tag on matresses and pillows that commands, "Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law!" Is there a mattress and pillow police squad ready and waiting to drag us away kicking and screaming?

Oh, yes, the packaging police do truly exist. These are the same people who will arrest you if you open a box at the wrong end, or if you fail to eat a pillow after removing the tag which says "...not to be removed except by consumer".

[dicksbro]

Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

[dicksbro]

Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for
Centuries have a 'use by' date?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?

[GermanSteve]

Originally posted by dicksbro
Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for
Centuries have a 'use by' date?


Put a closed bottle to a bright, warm place (especially if the bottle is a plastic one), leave it there for three months and try it afterwards. It might taste ugly. Perhaps you can also see some sea weed (not very probable).
Bottles are not necessarily sterile.
And plastic bottles cause bad taste rather quickly.

[MilkToast]

Why do people have a need to answer rhetorical questions? (sorry, could not resist....) :p

[GermanSteve]

Was that so rhetorical??? Then forget the answer and continue wonderting and smiling :D