I need advice on Family Problem

[Mercury_Maniac]

ok so the story starts after he graduated from high school 2 years ago he hasn't done much of anything except work at a fast food place, which is where he met a guy who got him into doing and selling drugs, i found out about it from this girl, she is my friend, and it killed me that he was doing this shit, and i didn't have the heart to tell my parents about it, it went on for awhile, finally my parents found out about it, they wanted him to stop and he said that he did, i knew he didn't they wanted him to move out, and finally they made him leave, so he moved in with another drug dealer in a nearby town and continued selling drugs, it kills my mom because she hears about it, and it hurts me that this is happening, and my friend that was going out with him (broke up with him many months ago) just called me and said that she heard that he was arrested for possesion of extasy and will be in prison for life for 36 counts of manslaughter which is the consequence for having that shit i guess,
i haven't confirmed this yet, but if it does turn out to be true, how do i break this news to my parents? My mom will be absolutely crushed! i don't want to keep it from them cause it will become much worse later on. What the hell do I do?

[Murphy]

MM, It's tough when a family member crashes and burns like that. I'm sure your going thru a hard time, and it will be even harder when you tell your folks. First, check the facts, find out of the arrest and conviction actually happened. Second, contact a local family counseling center - you're gonna need it. Third, tell your parents you need help dealing with a problem. This is to get them into the "My kid NEEDS me" mode, Fourth, bring them to a counseling session, and with your support group, break the news to them. OR, you can let them read about it in the paper, or hear it from a stranger. Whatever you choose to do, I know all of us here at Pixies will support you!

[PantyFanatic]

I don’t do Emmett Kelly. So it’s not a joke when the real world steps on somebody from our village. What Murphy gave you is a hell of a good direction and starting point.
Time does seem to be an issue so plan on doing something quick if you want to help you folks and it won’t hurt your own sanity to keep busy working on it. Take a big bag and a good sifter (your brain) to sort it all out.
So here’s some thought-pebbles you're welcome to stick in the corner of that sack.
….. he met a guy who got him into doing and selling drugs,….. so he moved in with another drug dealer…..
We all meet dirt-balls every day, only your brother went with him and eventually to live with one only because of the dope. Doubt if he cared that much for the people.

I don’t do Clarence Darrell either. And I’m not sure if being berried in 20 ton or 50 tons of shit makes a difference, but
…..arrested for possesion of extasy and will be in prison for life for 36 counts of manslaughter…..sounds a little much for any state. Check those facts closely. You’ll not find much worse than you’re working with now. May even be a ray of hope.

Doesn’t sound like you have time to learn the terrain, so getting a guide that’s been there makes sense to me.
…..contact a local family counseling center - you're gonna need it…..Get the Padre, Frazier Crane or the Dolly-Lamma, anybody with a pillow that will soften your parents fall. Enlist anybody with stones-of-knowledge to throw at your parents dragon.
Might want to remember only you know your parents and what size rock fits your sling. Watch the mutual-admiration societies of head bobbers.

One thing for sureWhatever you choose to do, I know all of us here at Pixies will support you!

(and stop this. I hate being serious):whiteghos

[LixyChick]

I second what PF said!

[GermanSteve]

I completely agree with PF. Good luck!

[Mercury_Maniac]

thank your for your help,

my parents weren't home this weekend, but they ended up finding out before they got home, so i couldn't even tell them
but it isn't as bad as i thought it was gonna be

sure my grandparents are upset, my parents were pissed and my uncle wants to punch my brothers skull in

i guess you could say that we used to be close, did a lot of stuff together and hung out alot but now i don't even consider him part of the family anymore, its that bad

thanks again for the great advice

[Mercury_Maniac]

he might just get a big fine and probation for several years

[Sassy Rose]

Jason, just remember, if you need to talk, there are lots of us here at Pixies who are willing *hugs*

[jennaflower]

odds are.. if this is his first offense.. he will only get supervised probation.

I think tho.. this should be a BIG wake up call for your family as a whole. Yeah, anger, disappointment, and disbelief are going to be very appropriate reactions. Bottom line is tho.. he is family.. and if this is indeed his first offense... lack of support for him is not going to be what your brother needs. What he needs is his family as a whole to convey to him that "Yeah, you are family, we love you, we don't agree with your life choices, but we are here to help you however we can.". This help definetely needs to include counseling. I don't believe for one moment that a "good kid" suddenly overnight decides to make decisions like the ones your bro made. This being said, I would go on to say that counseling is probably in order for all of you...

Sorry if this came out a bit harsh.. but what I am trying to say is that no matter what your bro has done... he is your bro. Yeah, it is okay not to agree with his choices, but I don't think that letting him sink or swim on his own is the response he is gonna need on his first time screwing up.

[PantyFanatic]

ALMOST…..;)
(lol) Not being funny about such significant matters. It is both comforting and necessary to locate and take refuge with the assistance of experience. I very much believe in maintaining, "Yeah, you are family, we love you…”. That is all there is at the final tally. Do whatever you need to keep it.:cool:

The chest of “experience” is NOT a chest of “miracles”:confused:! You ALL will have to WORK with the TOOLS your shown, even if they’re presented as magic wands,... they’re not:(,... and you’re not getting them from divinity:mad:.




(Just one perspective)
Good luck bro to all of you. And this bunch of outsides are here for you.