do men tell?

[sassy 13]

I am curious if men tell their friends about their sex lives. My guy gets a little upset when I discuss our adventures. I don't go into any great details, just what seems to be normal chit chat. I've noticed that women are very open to talk about sex. He says about the only time sex is mentioned is when no one's getting any. So how bout some input guys?

[dicksbro]

From my experience, most guys tend to be pretty vague in discussing their sex lives ... like how much they enjoy or maybe some bragging ... but seldom very specific about who or what. Also, maybe, when they're not getting any.

Except, of course, at Pixies :D

[skipthisone]

I have never talked with other guys about my sex life (well except for college but those were more bragging stories not discussions) but I have used to have a fuck-friend and we talked frankly with each other about every little sexual or non sexual thing.

[Coach Knight]

There was a Friends episode that was just like this.
Rachel asked Ross if he talked to his friends about sex and he said, like STO did above, in very general or vague terms.
She asked him why and he said that guys don't want to tell other guys what they do with their S/O. That is true. If it were a one night stand, perhaps, but I'm not going to tell my best friend how tasty my wife's pussy is.

CK

[Irish]

In all of these years(I have been having sexual relations;since 15;
I am 58 now.)I have NEVER told anyone;about sexual relations;
with another.I have seen;too many;reputations ruined;and other
relationships ruined;by people with BIG mouths;bragging.Other
people don't know;what really happened and if you respect;the
other party;you keep your mouth shut!Sorry;if I went on so long;
but that's something I feel very strongly about! Irish
P.S.As I have said:Sex is like business;A satisfied customer;is a
repeat customer!

[axe31]

not an easy question
first i have in vage turmes with my hetro mates
like wheres the weirdes plase youve done it and
sutch.
but with my gay mates more like what i did how
good,size and who did what. i see why women
love to talk about it of course mt gay freinds
only like to here about when iam with a guy
and not a woman thats when i talk to jane

[Clint]

YES! Sex is a very open topic between me and my buddies :p

*Clint

[GermanSteve]

Almost never talking about the sexual details of my partner. If I am talking about private sex things, it is about what I prefer or what happened to me.
Private is private.

[Grumble]

Only in general terms no specifics of who when and where and what we did.
I did a little boasting once as a young man, and it came back and caused a lot of trouble and ruined a relationship.

Strangely enough i talk quite openly about my sexuality here but mainly with female friends who i have come to know and trust but still not any pertsons name.

I doubt if I will change in that way seeing I am now nearly 50

[MR_bloke]

I do not speak about it... looks like I'm in some good company! ;)

[Lilith]

My SO and I have friends a couple who swing... When we get together with them she and I always go off and she tells me allllllll the yummy details and the guys do not discuss it at all. Later in the car on the ride home I tell him everything... funny he loves hearing about it but does not want to talk about it with his buddy. Guys really may be wired differently I suppose...:p

[dicksbro]

:D :D Gee, Lilith, now that you know we guys don't tell ... you could share all these details with us! :D :D

[pje]

i agree with most on this one.Sex talk is very limited among us guys.Maybe a,was she good,or something like that and thats about it.

[IndulgenceX2]

This reminds me of the old line, "Men talk to women; women talk to their girlfriends."
One of the great things about Pixies is hearing details from men-not who (names), but what (specifics).

[legend]

no....women do it for them.....the wife/girlfriend tells her friends, who tell their friends, who tell the wife/girlfriend of the mate.....

[Irish]

legend---So true!Living with three women(1Wife;2 daughters);I
can say;that nobody is more;catty;then a woman! Irish
P.S.Don't get all upset women;I have said the; same thing;to my
wife.We joke about everything!I don't think;that;one sex;is better
;then the other.It depends;on the person.As with;different sexs,
races,religions,etc.;there are good and bad in everything!

[IndulgenceX2]

Originally posted by legend
no....women do it for them.....the wife/girlfriend tells her friends, who tell their friends, who tell the wife/girlfriend of the mate.....

If that's the case, who is replying here under the username? You, wife/gf, both, either?

[scotzoidman]

I was taught that a gentleman never tells...Guess it's that strict southern upbringing again...

[Irish]

IndulgenceX2---Why do you want to know?So that you can tell your girlfriend? Irish
P.S.That's why;I hate steriotypes! Example:A biker is always;
portrayed on TV;as a fat slob;with his,beer belly,hanging out;of
his;way too small;tee shirt.He has; super long;dirty hair and is in
general;a slob!I have been riding for over 43yrs;and have never seen one!
An alcoholic;has his liquor bottle;in a brown paper bag;wears a
;dirty;trenchcoat and can't hold a job.I am a recovering alcoholic.
I have been married for 37yrs. and always worked.(since 15)

[IndulgenceX2]

Well, Irish, no, actually.
If I was to blab to a girlfriend in the stereotypical way you suggest, she probably would say something like, "Who are you and what have you done with her?"
What I was getting at is that men and women can think differently about a given topic. My "women talk to their girlfriends" comment hit a raw nerve with at least two guys here, and I had not expected that. So, I've learned sometihing. As you say Irish, stereotypes do not necessarily define individuals. I hadn't thought about what I call the "blabbing" aspect because I don't hear that from my friends and they don't get it from me.

[sassy 13]

Thanks for all the feedback.Since I posted this request, my honey has been telling me about quite a few conversations he's had with his boss/friend about sex.No big details, mostly things like his friend's wife meeting him at the door naked.My sis and I share details like,where and how often and thats about as far as it goes.Keep posting my pixie friends!

[legend]

awww....no raw nerve hit here IndulgenceX2....and i'm pretty sure the same goes for Irish too.....i think i left the grinning smilies off my post

hehehe.....all's fair in love and war :p :D

[jennaflower]

I think... that once boys become men... for the most part they keep their sexual experiences private. But then again... I think in general.. relationships between men are completely different than those between women. I don't think that the friendships that men have are as "deep" as those that most women have (just a generalization here).

It isn't rare for my closest friends and I to discuss sex.. tho it is most often very general.. unless we are attempting to help eachother sort out a problem.. then it becomes more specific.

[Irish]

legend---Right again!The only raw nerve;that I have;has to do;
with;my wife and kids.It's not the first time;in my life;that someone;took my weird;sense of humor wrong!The only serious moments;that I ever had;were at my wedding and when our kids
were born. Irish

[IndulgenceX2]

Jenna (wise woman!) put her finger on it: I consider my girlfriends as adopted family. In some ways closer, because we are there for each other when families are not. Don’t know any men who have that, quite.
(This long holiday weekend, all my friends but one are out of town, and that one is hosting a family member on pass from a mental institution. So, *sigh* cat care and crazy people for a few days. Time for me to lighten up. TY to Pixies folk for good reality check!)

[Thinker]

Men do talk less about sex than women do. But there is a reson for this. If 2 guys are talking and one says to the other "SoAndSO said you had sex with her", the guy most likely won't be very irritated. But if you reverse that, a women often get upset when she hears that someone she had sex with has been talking to other people about it. I am not saying this is always how it is but most of the time this is true.

[jennaflower]

Thinker.. I tend to agree with you.. but once again... this is because (in my opinion) society has conditioned us (in general).

If a man were to discover a past lover speaking of him (and their sexual activities) to another woman (especially positively).. it inflates the ego. Even possibly increasing his chances for future activities with the friend (no doubt that many a friend has slept with a guy based solely on what she had heard previously about his abilities and equipment).

On the otherhand, if a woman hears that a man is discussing the very same details with a friend she is most likely going to think that her reputation is going to be negatively effected. Possibly decreasing her chances of dating one of them in the future.

The sad fact of the matter is.. it is true. I think that this goes back to the mindset (which is one that I do have) that it is great to be a "slut" in the bedroom.. but it is entirely a different matter to be considered one outside of it.

Long ago.. LONNNNGGGG ago.. I was very serious with a young man.... needless to say... things didn't work out.. and after the fact.. I had found out via a friend of his... that he had encouraged this friend to hook up with me "cuz she gives great head dude". Yeah.. tho I was pleased to think that the guy thought so... I didn't appreciate hearing it from his friend. That was a piece of information that I didn't (at that time) make a point of advertising.

It is true, I do share details of my intimate life with my girl friends.. mostly because I am the most open minded and sexually aware person in my small group.. I do not however share with them specifics... never have "rated" a lovers ability... I keep things very general...

[foosballfan]

Depends on what friends I'm talking to and the circumstances. I have a few friends I can give a play by play of my sex life to and they'll do the same(and never tell anyone), and then there are some who are just way too uptight about it. It also helps to have a few cocktails to loosen the tongue.
I have about 3 or 4 friends like that, BTW, and most of them are more recent friends than ones I've known all my life.

[Wicked Wanda]

I share almost everything about my sex/love/social life with other women who are close friends. The details, if we are talking about a same-sex relationship, may be changed if the person I am talking to doesn't know I am bi, and I may obscure names and identities, but we share.
But men, well....
I have a story like Jenna's to share.
About 2 years after my annulment, I hooked up with a man who knew my ex only slightly.
Or so I thought.
We only went out a for a few months, it wasn't very serious.
But I was strangely affected to learn, after we had begun having sex, that he knew A LOT about what I liked to do in bed!! (with men, my ex never learned that I was bi)
This man, who barely knew my husband, and had only met me once before, knew all kinds of sexual details about me!!
He and my husband had been drinking together once or twice, and this was enough, it seems, to let my ex feel free to share ALL the DETAILS of what we did, from oral sex ,or sex in the car, or outdoors, to my enjoyment of anal sex!! He ( my date) knew details about how I liked to be touched, and even my favorite positions.
I had all kinds of strange feelings about this.
During a little late night pillow talk, he shared all the things my ex had told him.
Part of me was thrilled to learn that my ex considered me a "wild tiger" in bed, and "loves to suck cock," ..... " loves to wiggle her ass while being fucked".. "loves to show off her tits"... "loves to give head in the car"... and "likes having her ass played with while fucked on all fours"... and how we had "fucked in the limo after the (wedding) reception with the driver watching". He knew about nibbling my neck, ( brrrrrrrrrr), and caressing my bottom.. ( sigh) and what those things did to me.
There is more, but you get the idea. ( too much more, really)
I was angry with my ex about his sharing intimate details with someone he barely knew!!
And now I knew how I had ended up in bed so quickly with an ex co-worker of my ex's!!
But I was also thrilled in a deep sexual way of me that I was considered such "a good fuck" by someone who probably hated me by now.

I have spent years trying to decide how I really felt/feel about this.


WW

[jennaflower]

WOW.. WW.. not sure how exactly I would have reacted to that. I do agree.. it is a catch 22... when it happened to me.. part of me was thrilled to know that he thought highly enough of my abilities to brag... another part of me was desperately hurt that he didn't think highly enough of me as a human being to keep our personal details to himself.