doin what i do best...

[Uncle Silky]

"You gotta blink sometime, you rascal, you." -Johnny, having a staring contest with his friend Plank... the, uh, plank of wood

[Uncle Silky]

"Gee, Plank, ever think you may as well be talkin' to a piece of wood? ...Plank? Plank?! Oh, no! Not you, too!!" -Johnny

[Uncle Silky]

"Polly want a... ah, who cares?" -A neutered parrot

[dicksbro]

Thanks, Unc. After all the sex threads, we needed a bit of seriousness to help keep perspective.

[Uncle Silky]

it's what i do, dicky.

"No, it wasn't me, I swear! It was the two-armed man!" -Bravo

[Uncle Silky]

"Please, gather around Rolf, everybody, as I cannot contain the Christmas mirth crawling up my backhair." -Rolf

[Uncle Silky]

"I am Poop Dog, the Gangsta Spectre of Defeat!" -Poop Dog

[Uncle Silky]

"Well done, children. Your parents will receive phonecalls instructing them to love you less." -Ms. Bitters

[Uncle Silky]

Video Store guy: "Return that movie!"

Gir: "You got any o' them taquitoes?"

[Uncle Silky]

Computer: "I do not know what the FBI is."

Zim: "Well, guess!"

Computer: "Okay... The FBI was founded in 1492, uh... by demons."

[Uncle Silky]

"Once, there was an ugly barnacle. It was so ugly that everybody died. The End." -Patrick

[Uncle Silky]

"Hey, that thing you were right about... it's gonna eat us!" -Dib

[Uncle Silky]

Mad Scientist: "Gentlemen, meet my beautiful girlfriend."

Associate: "I think that's a giant spider."

Scientist: "I think you're right. It's a trick! Run!!"

[Uncle Silky]

"Look, I need candy. Are you gonna gimme some or are you gonna lose some teeth?" -Meatwad

[Uncle Silky]

Zorak: "How'd it go?"

Space Ghost: "Smooth as ice. I had to punch Pat in the jaw a couple of times, but other than that, I think we built a solid wall of groove."

[Uncle Silky]

Space Ghost: "Are you okay, granddad?"

Granddad: "That monkey hit me with a folding chair."

[Uncle Silky]

"...And I contend that those tourists were decapitated before they entered Krustyland's House Of Knives." -Krusty

[Uncle Silky]

"Strange, squirrely behavior... secret handshakes... They must be goin' ta meet Danish chicks!" -Bravo

[Uncle Silky]

"Have a good day, rotten-to-the-core cherished one." -Ed

[Uncle Silky]

Badminton chick: "Johnny, I have a proposition for you."

Bravo: "How about this one: you, me, a box of noodles, and a Pauly Shore video."

[Uncle Silky]

"Oh, you guys are just begging to face the moose." -Dib

[Uncle Silky]

Chicken: "Hey, you're not blind."

Blind Mudpuddle Johnson: "Yeah, but Blind Mudpuddle sounds better than Astygmatism Mudpuddle, or Slightly Myopic Mudpuddle."

[Uncle Silky]

Oblong dad: "Why are they putting a sombrero on a beaver?"

*beaver explodes*

Company president: "I think you have your answer."

[DildoDiva]

Originally posted by Reverend Silky
"Open yer yap, ya little drool-monkey. Here comes the yummy-train." -Bravo

HAHAHAHAH! That was the first episode I'd ever seen and I was in the hospital after having a cecearian section and I like to busted my stitches over it!

[DildoDiva]

*ahem* La la la la.... *ahem* LAAAAAAA!!

DO...... the stuff... that buys me beer...
RAY..... the guy that sells me beer...
ME...... the guy... who drinks the beer,
FAR..... a long way to get beer..
SO...... I'll have another beer...
LA...... I'll have another beer...
TEA..... no thanks, I'm drinking beer...
That will bring us back to...
(Looks into an empty glass)

D'OH!

[dicksbro]

We ... ah ... (hic) ... er ... all kno' da ... (hic) ... sund ... er ... tu hands ... (hic) ... clapping (kin we say dat on der in-her-nit) ... (hic) ... ba whet's da sund ... er ... of one han ... (hic) ... clappin.

ROTFLMAO :D :D

[Uncle Silky]

"Hey, look at me. I'm a tea-suckin', loafer-wearin' snooty guy." -Bravo

[Uncle Silky]

"I dunno who you are or how you got so pretty, but there's only room for one Johnny in this house!" -Bravo

[Uncle Silky]

"Is there any way we can enhance your dining experience by hurting an animal?" -Chinese waiter

[Uncle Silky]

"No time for jokes, Smithers. Come on, we're going womanizing." -Mr. Burns

[Uncle Silky]

Gloria: "We're in love!"

Snake: "Don't say that, baby. I'm gonna win you back if I hafta pistol-whip this guy all night."

[Uncle Silky]

Mom: "Honey, last night you were up until dawn trying to circumcise ants."

Milo: "That's not crazy, it's just good hygiene."

[Uncle Silky]

"Eskimo Joe, you ol' whale-stabber! How are ya?" -Bob Oblong

[Uncle Silky]

"It's right outta Norman Rockwell; a boy and his narcoleptic dog." -Bob Oblong

[Uncle Silky]

"How ya like me now, chinstrap?" -Captain Murphy

[Uncle Silky]

Master Shake: "Will this hurt him?"

Frylock: "It shouldn't."

Master Shake: "Then why are we doing it?"

[Uncle Silky]

"Bears are crazy ones. They'll bite your head if you're wearing steak on it." -Space Ghost

[Uncle Silky]

"Good lord! The rod up that man's butt must have a rod up its butt." -Chalmers

[Uncle Silky]

Skinner: "What's so special about tonight?"

Mother: "Nothing! Now put on your special suit and get in the car!"

[Uncle Silky]

Lisa: "A rose by any other name would smell just as sweet."

Bart: "Not if they called 'em stench-blossoms."

[Uncle Silky]

Abe: "Hey, beautiful."

Agnes: "In your dreams."

Abe: "We'll see about that! *passes out, snores*"

[Uncle Silky]

"Come, boogaloo with Rolf! Show me where your momma lives!" -Rolf

[Uncle Silky]

Karl: "How was I supposta know you liked her?"

Bravo: "Hot babe... with a treehouse. What's not ta like?"

[Uncle Silky]

"Oh, yeah. Your dad usta be smart as a monkey. Then his brain got lazy, and now, he's as dumb as a chimp." -Abe

[Uncle Silky]

Ms. Krabappel: "'Embiggens'... hmm... Ya know, I never heard that word until I moved to this town."

Other teacher: "I dunno why. It's a perfectly cromulent word."

[Uncle Silky]

"Could you get yer spine outta my eye, please?" -Bravo

[Uncle Silky]

"I know yer worried that I'm much prettier than you, but maybe the kids'll look like me. Now pucker up. It's time ta do the face-tango." -Bravo

[Uncle Silky]

"Well, alright. If it makes me look manly and rugged. Now gimme my makeup!" -Bravo

[Uncle Silky]

Fish: "He poisoned our water supply, burned our crops, and brought a plague upon all our houses!"

Mob: "He did?"

Fish: "No, but are we just gonna stand around until he does?!"

[Uncle Silky]

"Don't take my mouth!" -Ed

[Brian_Watt]

Simpsons:

Lisa: Gross, how long has this box of baking soda been in here??

Marge: I don't know, came with the house.

Bart: Hey Homer, bet you five bucks you can't eat the whole thing.

Homer: 5 bucks, make it 50 bucks!!

Lisa: I will call poison control

[Uncle Silky]

"Hmm... must be the Hall of Giant Chattering Joke Teeth. Every themepark has one." -Bravo

[Uncle Silky]

"Hey, look at me. I'm a spoooooooky janitor." -Bravo

[Uncle Silky]

"Dental college? That would explain the lack of freakish carnie workers." -Bravo

[Uncle Silky]

"Don't touch me, kid. I got some seriously twisted mojo goin' on here." -Bravo

[Uncle Silky]

"Johnny, women like sincerity. Once you can fake that, you'll have it made." -Schoolhouse Rock guy

[Uncle Silky]

Bravo: "What am I supposta do with this?"

Surfer: "Ya gotta jazz the glass, daddy-o."

Bravo: "Nuh-uh, man. That sounds nasty."

[Uncle Silky]

Patrick: "Hey, Spongebob."

Spongebob: "That's hall-monitor to you."

Patrick: "Sorry, officer."

[Uncle Silky]

Spongebob: "Now you just need a symbol of authority."

*Patrick puts an ice cream cone on his head, then points to it*

Spongebob: "Perfect."

[Uncle Silky]

"A gun is not a weapon, Marge. It's a tool, like a butcher's knife, a harpoon, or a, uhh... uhh... alligator." -Homer

[Uncle Silky]

Homer: "Joke's on you, buddy. There's no bullets in that gun."

Snake: "Gimme the bullets."

Homer: "Okay! Just please don't shoot me."

[Uncle Silky]

Plankton: "I don't understand. I feel all tingly inside. Should we stop?"

Spongebob: "No, that's how you're supposta feel!"

Plankton: "Then let's do it again!"

[Uncle Silky]

Patrick: "You're a turkey!"

Spongebob: "What's that?"

Patrick: "It's what you are!"

Spongebob: "Yeah? Well, you're a bigger one!"

[Uncle Silky]

Bob Oblong: "Sweetie, a wasp's nest isn't really a proper pinata."

Mom Oblong: "Honey, I'm entertaining on a budget here."

Kid with the stick: "Owww!! The candy's stinging me!!"

[Uncle Silky]

"Now clear outta here. This jungle of peenies is making me uncomfortable." -Bob Oblong

[Uncle Silky]

Harvey Birdman: "You speak Japanese?"

Peanut: "I get by."

Harvey Birdman: "Great! Ask them what they're doing here and tell this one to back up a foot-and-a-half."

[Uncle Silky]

Murphy: "Nails are like candy to robots. And we'll eat tires for food."

Debbie: "No, we won't."

Murphy: "Maybe you won't."

[Uncle Silky]

"Aaaaand there go my nipples again." -Murphy

[Uncle Silky]

Frylock: "I wonder who killed Carl's car."

Master Shake: "A car can't be killed... it was murdered."

[Uncle Silky]

"Are those the better-check-your-wallet Ed boys?" -Rolf

[jjjjbo]

Mutley after he would get his doggie treat ..... (flying high into the air and slowly decending as he wrapped his front legs around his body) - Um-um-um-ummmmmm (repeated over and over til he gently landed on the ground)

[jjjjbo]

"Here I am to save the day!" Mighty mouse (oh dear, am i showing my age?!?!?! lol)

[dicksbro]

"Shazam!" cried Capt. Marvel.

[LixyChick]

Miss you! Hmmm......umm hmm yeah! Fall off the planet?

[legend]

Uncle Silky is away right now

[Uncle Silky]

...and now he's back.


Lake security: "Sir, you can't operate a boat while under the influence of alcohol."

Homer: "That sounds like a wager to me."

[Uncle Silky]

Phoney: "Science has proven that even a monkey can remember ten numbers. Are you stupider than a monkey?"

Wiggum: "Well, how big of a monkey?"

[Uncle Silky]

"It's a badger, alright... or possibly a gryphon." -Homer

[Uncle Silky]

Bobby: "The cows look happy."

Hank: "That's because they're not bein' slaughtered right now. Talk to 'em in a couple o' weeks."

[LixyChick]

WB........uhmm hmm..........Fuckin A! Missed your ass! No clue why I said it on this thread though.........lookin above me.......Shit!......goin now!

[Uncle Silky]

"Hey, dad, heard ya cussin'. Mind if I join ya? Crap, boobs, crap!" -Bart

[Uncle Silky]

Lisa: "Dad, women won't like being shot in the face."

Homer: "Women will like what I tell them to like."

[Uncle Silky]

Marge: "What do you think he's doing up there?"

Homer: *shrugs* "Drug lab?"

Marge: "Drug lab?!"

Homer: "Or readin' comics. What am I, Kreskin?"

[Uncle Silky]

"...And then I invented something that blew up the alien's heads and saved the Earth." -Homer

[Uncle Silky]

"You should eat more fiber, head-in-sock Ed boy." -Rolf

[Uncle Silky]

"Careful, as the dogs have had their way with that waterplug." -Rolf

[Uncle Silky]

Ed: "It's a kazoo!"

Rolf: "Not even close, square-peg-in-round-hole Ed boy."

[Uncle Silky]

SpongeBob: "Hi, Patrick. I'm confused."

Patrick: "Yes, I am."

[Uncle Silky]

"Outta the way, you losers! Nice guy comin' through." -Bravo

[Uncle Silky]

"Hey, watch where yer goin', etiquette-monkey!" -Bravo

[Uncle Silky]

"This zoo sucks. Why aren't the animals doing anything? I've seen plays better than this. Honest to God-- plays!" -Homer

[tertiary_3]

Step 1: collect underpants.
Step 2: ...
Step 3: Profit!

-The Underpants Gnomes' Master Plan