lone

[Timber Wolf 587]

I'm going crazy. I'm 19 and have never had anything resembling a girl. It's driving me insane. I mean, is it too much to ask? Seriously. There aren't any great looking girls ou here, and all the good looking ones are taken. Am I that messed up that I can't even get a girl??

[Grumble]

Where to start TW?
Well mate they won't come knocking at your door. A pretty face and a to die for body are not the ultimate you know. A personality and easy to get along with attitude are better in the long run for a girlfriend. So dont set your sights for a movie star.
Join a club or do some activity involving girls and meet them that way, much better than bars. Well it was for me anyway.
I am sure some younger guys than me will have some good advice too

[Oldfart]

Grumble,

No but one of the old ones will.

Push too hard and you'll just drive anyone worthwhile away.

There is a really deep secret I can impart to you, Wolf.

If you deal with girls as real people and let them work out your

good and attractive traits, maybe some will like you enough

to consider a cuddle or three.

[Sugarsprinkles]

Originally posted by Timber Wolf 587
There aren't any great looking girls ou here, and all the good looking ones are taken.

Just taking a stab in the dark here TW, but I would guess what you said in these two sentences I've quoted here is a large part of your problem.
If you're going to make looks your first priority you'll miss out on a lot of wonderful girls. There's more to a person than looks.
And Grumbleguts has also given you some good advice...
Join some clubs, or find some activities where you can meet girls, strike up a conversation with some of the young ladies, get to know them and just maybe you'll find someone that you hit it off with and she won't necessarily be the prettiest face in the crowd. I firmly believe a person's personality, intelligence, and outlook on life in general are much more important than mere "looks". You might be passing up the "perfect mate" because you're so pre-occupied with whether or not she's "good looking".

[Oldfart]

Sprinkles

I have yet to meet an intelligent and vital lady who didn't shine

regardless of "looks". A radiant smile and force of personality

make a person beautiful. Skin is a bit of icing on the cake.

[Sugarsprinkles]

OF, I think that's pretty much the idea I was trying to get across to Timber Wolf. If he's only going on looks alone, he's going to miss out on some pretty wonderful people.
I also discovered, back when I was dating (back in the Stone Age..LOL) that the guys who were the best looking were more interested in themselves and made for really lousy dates. I believe that personality and common interests are waaaayy more important than looks!:D
So are we in agreement, OF??

[Oldfart]

Always, dearest.

[Sugarsprinkles]

Originally posted by Oldfart
Always, dearest.


Dearest??? Ohhh, OF, you say the nicest things....;)

[Oldfart]

Thought a little Aussie smoothness'd work the legendary charm.

Always happy to lay on the smarm.

[legend]

Originally posted by Oldfart
legendary charm.

That's me! :D

[MrX]

Its one of the strange things about life, The harder you try to find a partner, the less likely you are to find one.
I am a little concerned about the " there are no good looking girls..." That ( and dont take this harshly ) comes across as a bit shallow. Relax, enjoy the company of the opposite sex, be yourself and I guarantee it will all fall into place.

[Sugarsprinkles]

Originally posted by Oldfart

Always happy to lay on the smarm.

And you do it soooo well!! LOL...
My day started out lousy but it's getting better by the minute..:D

[Oldfart]

It's so nice to put a smile on your face.

I mean, so, so nice.........

[Sugarsprinkles]

Thanks so, so much OF!!
You have definitely succeeded! :D

[Oldfart]

Oldfart grinds another notch in his....(Ouch, bloody heck!!)

[Sugarsprinkles]

Originally posted by Oldfart
Oldfart grinds another notch in his....(Ouch, bloody heck!!)

Careful there, OF!! Don't want you damaging anything vital!!
Just make a mark on the wall instead.......much safer, dear.:D

[Grumble]

well you guys back to Timber wolf LOl

I think that the advice given here is all really relevant. Be yourself and relax was great advice, I wish that had been given to me at your age, I was way too uptight.

And the exchanges between the other members here are the sort of good natured friendly banter that makes Pixies so endearing to me :)

Good Luck TW there is someone out there for you Buddy

[Master1012]

Before I got my S/O we spent our time talking about stuff. It was when neither of us was looking for anyone that it actually occurred to us that we wanted to be with each other. So my point is this : try to get to know a few people, dont push too hard, and especially dont judge based on looks alone - personality is more important than physical appearances.

[Timber Wolf 587]

You guys got it all wrong. I'm not looking for just a god looking girl. Hell, I'd settle for "Beaten with the ugly stick" if she had a good personality. What I meant by around here i my area. I'm in a suburb of LA. There are no clubs, no events, hell we barely have a mall. I'd o out somewhere else, except that I don't have a vehicle of my own, nor do I have a job. I've tried to get one, but no one wants to hire me. They always say, "We'll call you" when I call them, and every time after that. I'm just stuck here.

[Grumble]

OK TW, I am a bit in unknown territory here because I dont know the social structure of your area.
Here I could direct you to quite a few youth organisations, including touch football (lots of mixed teams) indoor cricket, tennis, squash, swimming, athletics, basketball, archery, gym, in the sporting field.
Walking clubs, field naturalists, scouting, police citizens and youth club, YMCA, drama societies, young rotary, debating societies, dancing groups, skate board groups and that is just off the top of my head. If i looked them up in the phone book I could find heaps more and I live in a small city of 60,000 people.

So mate, you have to put in some effort and not sit on your bum and say 'There is nothing for me to do' I am sure that if you looked hard enough there will be clubs that you could be in that don't cost much money and that will take your interest and give you something useful to do with your time. Then you will mix and meet people and benefit from it.

Its tough being unemployed and morale sapping but keep trying and don't always take no for an answer. Keep ringing them back and dropping in. Someone will recognise your enthusiasm and determination and give you a chance.

I hope there are some ideas here for you

[Timber Wolf 587]

thx for the ideas, but they're for not. I've been all around this area, and there is nothing.

[Oldfart]

Wolf,

Just be normal, be socially aware, and wait for something to happen.

It'll be in exactly the direction you haven't been looking.

The hardest task of all is patience.

[sugarfreecandy]

Hi Timberwolf...

Let me start off by saying welcome to Pixies' --- this is (as you're already discovering) a very supportive 'family' and we will do our best to help you out.

I do know all too well where you're coming from. I grew up in (and have just moved back to) a town of about 20 000 (well, it's more like 30 000 now, but still) where activities for youth were really limited. I also never met anyone I could date until I was 19 --- only the 'weirdos' asked me out, like the guy who threatened to commit suicide by jumping off the slide (oooh, a whole 5' drop) back in grade 4 if I didn't go to a movie with him. (I didn't go. :rolleyes: )

Anyway, all of the advice given so far has been absolutely spot on. I really like what Master1012 said about getting to know people --- not as potential dates, but as people. You never know. I met my boyfriend in the library at university, waiting in line to use the photocopier. I was 19 then, and we've been together 2 1/2 happy years now. He's not your typical sex idol --- he has cerebral palsy and is in a wheelchair much of the time --- and if I'd been looking only for a date, I probably would not have paid him any attention. However, I was just out to be friends, and that has developed into such a beautiful, loving relationship.

In terms of more tangible solutions, it sounds like the whole job situation isn't helping any --- both in terms of cash flow and in terms of morale. I'm an employment counsellor for students, and if there's anything I can do to help you polish your résumés/cover letters/interview skills/job search techniques, I'm happy to help. PM me if there's anything I can do. (Same goes for any other under-employed members of the Pixies' family, I might add.)

Good luck to you, hun.

--- sweetstuff