This Is Kind Of Embarassing, but....

[dj_nevermore]

You see, when I'm with my girlfriend, I have a little trouble keeping it hard during sex. Now I'm a completely healthy 18 yr old guy, and it kind of bothers me. I mean, I'm a pretty decent size (see pics in Pictures Of Men), and I get plenty hard enough to satisfy, but it seems like once any attention is taken from my cock, I start to lose the erection. Like, when I go down on her, it makes me hard. And when she goes down on me, it naturally gets very hard, but we usually did that before intercourse so I could put a condom on, and because it's foreplay. Well, it seems like as soon as she stops for me to put on a condom, my erection starts to fail. When I get inside of her, I do alright, but sometimes it just softens and we have to stop. It's really frustrating so I'm asking if any of you know of any ways for me to keep myself harder during sex. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. --DJ

[Lady Tango]

It appears that your girlfriend isn't complaining so don't worry. Your anxiety is probably making the situation worse - a self fulfilling prophecy - start worrying about a soft cock and you will get a soft cock.

[Oldfart]

Get her to put the condom on with her mouth.

She can help you restore the rod with a minimum break

to continuity.

[Sarriah]

My hubby goes soft as too sometimes, so he just makes him self hard again and it works fine. IF you are worried about it and if you are thinking bout it then it WILL happen more and more. Dont worry about it and I agree with Lady Tango IF she isnt complaining about it then dont worry bout it :D.. Just work this out together youd be surprised at how well it works if you TALK and WORK together :D

[Steph]

Also, you say you're 18 - is she your first? I agree that it could be nervousness.

If you talk about it with her, perhaps even laugh a little about habing nerves, you could get over this. Good luck!

[dj_nevermore]

She was my first...but I was 16, and we've both been with a couple different people since. So it's not first time jitters. I know thinking about it only makes it worse, but what can I think about to help it? Thanks and keep the feedback coming. --DJ

[Lilith]

If it is really bothering you I think you should see a doctor. There are things that can occur that can cause lack or low blood flow to your member. A common cause can be varicose veins. If you have been an athlete or a runner especially this could be the case. It can cause infertility problems if this was to be a cause for the lack of continual stiffness. I know it is hard (no pun intended) to not worry of think about it but that pause can be filled by you giving her some intense pleasure in another way and I am sure very soon her moans and pleading will cause you to perk right up. The main concern is that it may not become rigid again right? That has not been the case so far, so statistically the chance of that happening is slim to none. When it happens become so focused on her that you stop worrying about you....Just an idea:p


Ohhhh! AVOID ALCOHOL AND HERB!!!!!!neither help this!

[foosballfan]

A guy his age shouldn't have any physical causes to have erection problems. The best thing to do , like they all said, is to try to work at just relaxing as much as possible and maybe cut back on masturbating.
I've had this same exact problem, just like you, and it just resolved itself in a few months with no real reason why or anything. Mine would get hard when i first started getting aroused, then go down, then come back halfway hard, then down again, and it drove me crazy. I got really frustrated.

You might also try working out and exercising more, and trying to just do relaxing things afterwards. This all sounds like easy things to do till you have to do them, but I think it's an above the neck problem rather than a below the belt problem. Maybe there's something in the back of your mind that's worrying you , and it's interfering with sex.

[nikanik]

Maybe you should try letting her ride your face while she puts the condom on since you get hard when you give her oral. My boo used to have the same prob and it was just that he needed constant sexual attention to keep it up. Plus with her kitty in your face you wont be able to really think about going soft.

[Irish]

dj---Stop worrying.If you think about it;it will happen because it is
on your mind!Whatever you do;DON"T cut back on masturbating!
If you don't get hard with your girlfriend;it's all you have left! Irish
P.S.Excuse me for my poor attempt at humor in an unhumorous
situation.I'm probably the only person that has never grown up.

[Naughty Nympho]

Maybe you could "turn it up a notch" to keep yourself aroused. Such as role play fantasy or maybe just her dressing up real sexy for you. Do you have a fantasy that she could play for you? This will not only keep your mind preoccupied but it may enhance your pleasure in the process! Good luck sweetie.

[dj_nevermore]

Wow, thanks you guys. I really appreciate all the advice. I thought I'd tell you that the other night, we made love again. And this time, I tried to focus more on her pleasure. This helped a lot because I got her to cum through intercourse(no easy task, but I'm getting better at finding out what does it for her). However, I didn't wear a condom(self control baby...), and I only came after she had(intentionally), when she was going down on me(due to lack of protection). So, whatever happened, I think I'm going to be alright now. And as for naughty nympho's suggestion....well, she has done a lot of roleplaying with me.....once, she dressed all in black with black makeup to satisfy my sweet tooth for goth girls. And once she wore a short plaid skirt, and knee high socks and pigtails for a schoolgirl fantasy I had. And once,(this one takes the cake), because I'm a huge star wars fan, last halloween, she dressed as princess leia, and totally...well, let's just say she sent my mind to a galaxy far, far away. And those things all helped I think. So again, thank you all so much for your suggestions. I'll keep trying to stay focused. I'll update you again soon. Later....DJ

[Grumble]

DJ_Nevermore hey thats great to hear keep UP the good work LOL
I reckon that it is great to draw on other peoples experiences and advice especially at Pixies where the people are genuine and care.