HELP With Me And My Girlfriend's Sex Life..

[MonStar1023]

I need some big time help with my sexual relationship with my girlfriend. I am so frustrated and so confused and just so ready to throw my hands up its unbelievable.

Were both 18- I dont think we are too sexually compatible. I am into freaky stuff, and being adventurous. Like Im really into anal and everything like that. Shes more of the plain type of sex girl. First of all she said that everytime we have sex or mess around she feels guilty because its not right religiously.. so that kinda messes everything up right off the bat.

I want to mess around and do stuff on a daily basis and shes more into the only a few times a week type of thing. She ends up blowing me off a LOT. Like I will have to hint and sometimes ask for oral sex or something along those lines or she wont take a HINT. I dont know what her problem is. And then finally when I come right out and ask or imply it she makes up a bunch of excuses why she cant or doesnt want to.

I dont know I mean we get into arguments because I always go on and on about how I WILL have anal sex in my life no matter what and she gets all offended and says that shell never try it. Shes so unadventurous and just flat out BORING in bed. I dont know we have talked about it and bought sex books again and again and again. I dont want to break up with her over sex stuff because that doesnt seem like a good enough reason if everything else is okay. HELP!

:cool::cool:

I dont know if she needs to take something for her sex drive or what!

[Lovediva]

Give the girl a break..you are both only 18!!!!!

You have your whole life ahead of you...don't rush into everything right now....

Damn..the mother is me is showing today!!! And this shitty mood I am in is not helping!! Grrrrrrrrrrr...

TAKE YOUR TIME GUYS.....

[Oldfart]

Yes, you do have a problem.

It seems that what you want out of the relationship is

different in many aspects to what she wants or is

comfortable with.

Browbeating her into doing things she wouldn't otherwise

do isn't sharing, it's selfish.

Make a decision whether your sexual curiosity is worth

more to you than the relationship.

[MonStar1023]

Yeah I dont know what to do.. if she were just more freaky in bed. Or just more adventurous. Or just had MORE of sex drive!

:confused::confused:

HELP! I need a way to solve this problem.

[Lovediva]

Or just had MORE of sex drive!

Damn...my sex drive didn't kick in till I was 30!!!! :D :D

Guess you got a long time to wait!!!!! :D

[MonStar1023]

LoveDiva4u-
Wow really.. lol that sucks. Shes always like yeah I wont hit my sexual "peak" until I am 25-30. I am like thats nice way to c*ck me over...

What about things that enhance your sex drive like test cream etc.

:cool::cool:

[Oldfart]

You're still talking of trying to change her into your

private little sex doll. Rev her up a bit and watch her go.

Don't worry, she'll like it after a while.

It doesn't work that way and the sooner you either can the

relationship in favour of someone who is naturally revved

and receptive, or realise that your behaviour will cost you

something special and back off, the better for both of you.

[Aqua]

Sorry Monstar, but if you want to get freaky sexually, it's obvious from the beginning of the thread your g/f isn't ready for that.
If that's what you really want then you need to do the mature thing and walk away from that realationship and find a girl that is into the freaky sex. (By the way, I'm with you on the freaky sex, especially the anal!) But you need to have a partner that is into also... you can't make someone want it, or enjoy it the way you want them to. And to qoute Diva : "You have your whole life ahead of you...don't rush into everything right now.... "

[xanne]

Well said Oldfart, I couldn't agree more. Now if I can just borrow the milkcrate....

Monstar, I guess your gf is not as comfortable with her sexuality yet. I know there are things I do now that I thought I would never do when I was younger (yes, girls do peak later, sorry) But what really helped was having a patient partner who didn't pressurise me and waited for me to get comfortable enough to try those things. The other thing is maybe she just isn't interested in "freaky stuff". And if that is the case, you gotta decide if it is the gf you want or freaky sex.

[sanchez]

xanne, i thought it was a soapbox?

[Lovediva]

Sanchez...

Milkcrate..3 high is Oldfarts....

The soapbox belongs to Irish....heeheehee :D :D

[sugarfreecandy]

Monstar ---

Take your time! I have to say that I agree with Diva and the others. I'm only 21, so I don't have quite the perspective they do, but then again I'm also a lot closer to your age & stage of life. Hopefully I can offer you a little bit of insight from that viewpoint.

First off, slow down. Becoming a sex goddess isn't something that happens overnight! :p You may be eager to push the limits, but give your girlfriend time if you really care about her. I know that personally I wasn't sexually active at all until I was about your age (well, actually, it was just before my 19th birthday), and although I've loved sex from the beginning, I'm still pretty slow to introduce new things. I guess it's just a matter of comfort, and of security. I'm very lucky, though, in that my b/f doesn't pressure me at all, so when we do try something new, it's at a pace that we're both comfortable with. And when we're not trying anything new or "freaky"? I bet that you probably think our sex life in between must be pretty boring, but trust me, it's not. We take the attitude that sex is supposed to be fun, and we play a lot. Teasing each other and laughing can be really, really sexy! Plus, the laughter and the sense of play tend to bring down inhibitions and increase the sense of freedom to explore. They also help prevent us from seeing sex as some kind of challenge to see who can do the "freakiest" or wildest stuff, or who can get to orgasm fastest or best or most often. Sex isn't a competitive sport --- at its best it's an expression of love, and all the joy and happiness that comes with that. Sex manuals are great, but they often tend to channel you into thinking that sex is only about the physical positions and techniques, which is most definitely not the case!

The other thing I wanted to ask you was why you're so determined to get into the "freaky" stuff, as you call it. Whatever turns your crank is fine by me, but I think it's always good to be aware of why you like or dislike something. You said:

I dont know I mean we get into arguments because I always go on and on about how I WILL have anal sex in my life no matter what and she gets all offended and says that shell never try it.

Why do you "go on and on" if you know it will offend her? It seems to me that a big part of the reason you like the really wild stuff is the shock value, and that one of the people you like to shock with it is your girlfriend. Now, I can't speak for her, but I know that personally, I'm not liable to get comfortable with anything (or even give myself the chance to get comfortable with it) if it's constantly made into a huge issue and thrown in my face. Introduce the idea gently and tenderly, and I'm much more likely to respond positively, or at least, consider it openly.

I don't know if that helps you any, but I hope you'll take the time to ask yourself those questions and come up with some answers before you decide to do anything too drastic in your relationship.

Hope all turns out well for you two! Good luck!

--- sweetstuff

[PantyFanatic]

I knew whey you just sat in the corner at the party and took everything in. I now have the same question. "How in the world did our young lady become so wise, so early?"

MonStar- You truly may want to reread SugarFree’s response. (I have, a couple times.) She speaks the truth…….. and right from your eye level.

The very little I could add is from the gender and veterans prospective. I SO loudly hear your internal pleas (to YOU as well as her) for that total sexual engulfment.
All I can say that might make sense is it’s a lot like that kids toy substance, “SILLY PUTTY”. When you strike a sphere of the stuff with a hammer, it just brakes apart and goes every place but where you want it. If you press into it gently, slowly, watching what it is doing, it yields and does surround you in way you weren’t even prepared for.

I KNOW the drive.:confused: You’re right, it is from somewhere special…….and it will take you somewhere special.
But like climbing Mt. Everest, it takes time, you experience things along the way you never dreamt of. Taking a helicopter trip to the top is not only cheating, it’s cheating you and it’s not CLIMBING.:yellghst:

[Wicked Wanda]

I have to ask, have you performed oral sex on her, and how does she feel about it? Does she enjoy it, does she cum... does she ever orgasm when you two are together?

I was lucky. I was raised in the Church, but the teachings on sexuality didn't take at all... but for many they are hard to overcome...

AND... DON'T press the anal sex if she is not ready. It HAS to be done with patience, love, timing, preparation, and CAREFUL consideration. Otherwise it will be a terrible experience for both of you.


WW

[Belial]

MonStar, keep this in mind...
At least YOU're getting SOME sex...
If I were you, I'd try giving her oral.

[bunny_girl]

Its about a year since I lost my virginity (I'm 18), but its only recently I've started getting more adventurous. I used to be really nervous when it came to sex and the more my guy went on at me the more I'd refuse. Eventually he calmed down a bit and listened to how I felt about it and became more understanding and less demanding. Then things were a lot better and I was more willing.

Dont push your girlfriend too much, you might end up pushing her away. Is it really worth losing her over when she might come round if you give her some time?

[Irish]

MonStar---As said by many;you're only 18!First you have to decide
if you really care about this girl.Then you have to learn to respect
the way she feels.She may not want to do alot of personal things
with you until she feels unrestricted with you and realises that you're not just someone;who is there for the sex.(notch in the
belt)I know that my wife is a; totally ;different person;sexually;
then she was until she found that I was very possive&loyal with
her!Until then it was just normal intercourse and handjobs.Of
course;I was; in the service;when we met and servicemen don't
have the best reputation;of being loyal;to women.Give it time!
(Said from the soapbox)Irish
P.S.Believe it or not;I originally went out with her because I was
sick of going out with Pigs!Hard to believe;at 18;when a piece
of cloth rubbing gives you a hardon!

[MonStar1023]

Thanks for all the great replies.. really really really appreciate it. Yeah I know I do respect her and its time that I change and act like I respect her more.

:cool::cool:

Shes my best friend, and she could never be replaced.

[Ophelia]

Wanda...
Well said.

I was a virgin until I was 23! I can't imagine jumping right into anything!

monstar- just enjoy the sex. Treat it as special...and not something she's OBLIGED to give you. Sex is a gift, not a paycheck. Once you learn the difference...and treat her as if she were truely the giver of the gift, she may be more comfortable giving it more often. And by all means...GIVE BACK! Shoot!

If none of this helps, I recommend plenty of masturbation!

From the bar of soap...

Ophelia

[Oldfart]

Ophelia.

I know an Irish fellow who can sell you a box for that bar.

Pantyfanatic.

We've got to have that drink sometime.

SFC.

Come sit on my milkcrate and we'll share a bottle of Chateau

la Face '69 if you have any left.

MonStar.

Relax, it doesn't all have to happen this week. Take joy from

what you do and revel in how wonderful sharing with a loved

one can be. Maybe wildly revel, but revel.

Diva, I got a splinter from the milkcrate!!

[Lovediva]

I know an Irish fellow who can sell you a box for that bar.

LMFAO!!!!!!!

Oldfart...you are quite the man!!!

[Ophelia]

Oldfart...

I am already equiped with a "box"

:eek:

Ophelia

[sugarfreecandy]

OldFart:

I'd love to share that drink, but no way am I going to sit on that milkcrate of yours if I'm going to get a splinter in my posterior! I think perhaps I'll sit on your lap instead, if that's alright by you?

And Monstar: OldFart has put it beautifully.

Relax, it doesn't all have to happen this week. Take joy from what you do and revel in how wonderful sharing with a loved one can be. Maybe wildly revel, but revel.

And Ophelia and PantyFanatic have just given you the perfect analogies to keep in mind: as long as you remember that sex is like silly putty, not paycheques, you'll do fine. (You may confuse other people if you put it that way, but heck, it's fun to mix things up a little! :D)

--- sweetstuff

[Ophelia]

For the smiles SFC! Between you and Diva, I'll be giggling all day!

Ophelia

[Oldfart]

Ophelia

I've just written in another thread about boxes and bars,

but milkcrates are different again.

SFC

That knee is there anytime you want to drop by and share

that bottle.

and Diva

Just me!

[Irish]

Oldfart---If your milkcrates were reinforced plastic;like mine;you
wouldn't get splinters!
I don't sell things.I freely give them away. Irish
P.S.You have seen the popularity of plastic vibrators but people
don't use wooden ones;because they splinter!

[PantyFanatic]

...but no way am I going to sit on that milkcrate of yours if I'm going to get a splinter in my posterior

We have Nurse Diva right here, who attends to the welfare of all family members.:p I wouldn’t mind seeing her leave me long enough to do a good TURN with you.:p :D I’m confident OldFart would be willing to HANDLE that.:D :D

[Irish]

pantyfanatic--If Nurse Diva is going to provide aid;I think that I will get a splinter in a different spot! Irish
P.S.The sacrifices that I make!

[PantyFanatic]

Originally posted by Ophelia
...For the smiles SFC! Between you and Diva, I'll be giggling all day!
Ophelia :p

This would be a true INSPIRATION for most everyone.:) We already have Nurse Diva cuming to help ALL of us enjoy the day.:D :D

[Prophet Reality]

From the files of Prophet the Corruptor: Yeah it is fun to corrupt a young Church going lady. But once yo have corrupted her, there is nothing more to do. So I suggest that you take your time. You say she is your best friend, well then treat her that way. Talk to her and explain how you feel about your relationship. Then apologize for bsing a jerk to constantly force something on her. Then make sweet, passionate love to her and wait for her to let you know when she is ready. You have nothing but time to get to know each other. And part of geeting to kow each other, is to be respectful and understanding. Stop pressuring her and relax. It will come and you will enjoy it a whloe lot more.

[Lilith]

As a former, now VERY corupt, church girl I would advise that you just give her time. As she begins to trust you, and also herself, she will possibly be more open to explorng what she likes and does not like. Communication is key. Instead of telling her what you want, ask her what she wants. Let her be in control some too. I know it took me a long time to come to true sexual maturity which is totally different than just being sexually active. Time, open communication and respect will cure your troubles! Oh I forgot patience...it could be worth the wait. She could turn out to be a freak like me :D Tootles!