Old Sayings, Proverbs, metaphors

[gekkogecko]

...twisted. Post your favorites. Example:

he who lives by the mixed metaphor shall put his boot on the other foot!

[dicksbro]

To be or more likely not to be isn't a question but a prediction.

[Winston77]

A bird in the hand means less shit on your head

[gekkogecko]

A journey of a thousand miles begins with you already worn out.

[dicksbro]

To be or not to be ... those are the only possibilities.

[gekkogecko]

He who is able to undo this know shall have a lot of rope left over.

[Winston77]

Live by the sword die by the pen

[dicksbro]

Necessity is the mother of two bathrooms in a house with kids

[gekkogecko]

When life hands you lemons, throw rotten fruit at the stage.

[dicksbro]

Time heals all wounds ... except those too serious!

[gekkogecko]

That which does not kill be had better be able to outrun a bullet.

[dicksbro]

A stitch in time .. will take a lot of thread if it's a big clock you want to stop.

[gekkogecko]

May the bluebird of happiness crap all over you.

[dicksbro]

Laughter is the best medicine - and hear we've been told to wear masks.

[gekkogecko]

We do but stand on the shoulders of giants: who have been turned into a puddle of goo by everyone standing on them.

[dicksbro]

"Freedom is not free." In fact with inflation it's going up steadily!

[PantyFanatic]

Do unto others as they would do unto you, but do it first.

[gekkogecko]

The way to a man's heart is between the 4th & 5th ribs.

[Winston77]

Mama don't let your babies grow up to be crack whores!

[gekkogecko]

Know yourself. In the biblical sense.

[dicksbro]

The squeaky wheel gets the high repair bills if you take it to a garage.

[gekkogecko]

All roads lead to those paved with hellish intentions.

[dicksbro]

The truth will set you free .. so you can throw away all those keys.

[gekkogecko]

Seek ye the truth, and the truth shall make ye strange.

[dicksbro]

Hell hath no fury like .. a baby with poopy diapers.

[gekkogecko]

Always be yourself. Unless you're a dick. Don't be a dick.

[dicksbro]

The grass is always greener if you have artificial grass with green imbedded in the material it's made of.

[gekkogecko]

If every cloud has a silver lining; therefore, silver is so common as to have lost its monetary value.

[dicksbro]

To continue with your "old saying" ... while every cloud has a silver lining .. equally true is that every silver lining has a cloud.

[gekkogecko]

When life hands you lemons, let them rot before throwing them at the next idiot politician.

[dicksbro]

Keep Your Friends Close, but Your Girlfriend Closer. :D

[gekkogecko]

One vulture does not a spring make.

[dicksbro]

Don't count your chickens in on a cattle ranch.

[gekkogecko]

It's like making a mountain out of a single drop of water.

[dicksbro]

Love is a many splendid and complex thing.

[gekkogecko]

We need to bring the people of the 21st Century back into the Stone Age.

[dicksbro]

You Can Lead a Horse to Water unless it's a Clydesdale, in which case he'll have a Bud.

[gekkogecko]

If a tree falls in the forest, and there's nobody around to hear it, do all the squirrels and birds and insects that use to live in it move into your place?

[dicksbro]

Silence is golden ... noise refines it!

[gekkogecko]

Virtue is its own reward; but then, so is vice.

[gekkogecko]

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for an evening. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

[dicksbro]

All play and no work makes a politician's career.

[gekkogecko]

Well, *that's* killing way more than two species with one stone.

[dicksbro]

Beauty is only skin deep, but that's all that's necessary to get a guy's blood flowing!

[gekkogecko]

We'll burn that bridge when we come to it.

[dicksbro]

You can't judge a book by it's cover ... especially if all it has is printing and you can't read. :shrug:

[gekkogecko]

Let's talk about the mouse in the elephant enclosure.

[dicksbro]

If at First You Don't Succeed, Try Try Again. Unless of course it was a death defying (??) leap from a 10-story building without a parachute into a pail of water..

[gekkogecko]

Two rights don't make a left. that takes three.

[dicksbro]

What's Good for the Goose Is Good for the Sale of Trojans.

[gekkogecko]

Is that the incident that involved "The face that sank a thousand ships?"

[dicksbro]

A Bird in the Bush is Better Then Two Droppings on the hands.

[gekkogecko]

It's always darkest far underground; with no candle, flashlight, or electricity.

[dicksbro]

Many Hands Make Things Difficult if the Space is Limited.

[gekkogecko]

The future looks watery-brown.

[dicksbro]

What Goes Up, Must Come Down unless, of course, you're in a zero gravity environment.

[gekkogecko]

Always remember that which is entirely forgettable.

[dicksbro]

Stitch in time makes the clock stop if it's done right.

[gekkogecko]

A watched clock never boils.

[PantyFanatic]

Two birds in the bush are better than one bird that craps in your hand.

[dicksbro]

A Really Big Rolling Stone Gathers a lot of stuff on it's way down ... people included if they get in the way. :(

[gekkogecko]

Remember that in many porn movies, the hero gets the girl in the end.

[dicksbro]

Top or bottom end, that is the question.

[gekkogecko]

Do dentists recommend biting the sugar-free bullet?

[dicksbro]

Or, do they recommend Fluoride treated ones?

[gekkogecko]

If you don't look a gift horse in the mouth, how are you to tell if there's a bunch of Greeks in there?

[PantyFanatic]

^^^ :roflmao:

[gekkogecko]

Something that doesn't need twisting:

No good deed goes unpunished.

[gekkogecko]

Everyone is entitled to his/her own opinion. But an opinion without 3.14 is just an onion.

[gekkogecko]

A watched clock never boils.

[PantyFanatic]

A hand in a bush is better than two birds.

[gekkogecko]

This, too, shall pass through your bowels.

[gekkogecko]

The consequences of leaving things in too long:
Burnt Pizza
Frozen Beer
Pregnant Girlfriend

[gekkogecko]

It's always darkest in a sealed oubliette, with no candles, torches, or electric light.

[dicksbro]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but the opposite is also true.

[gekkogecko]

You should never kill two birds with one stone inside a glass house.

[Fangtasia]

Drier than a dead dingos donger

[gekkogecko]

I have a firm grip on reality. I'm gonig to choke it to death.

[gekkogecko]

Common sense is not necessarily either common nor sensible.

[PantyFanatic]

When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison. :nod:

[gekkogecko]

Help! The paranoids are after me!

[gekkogecko]

He who hesitates...is looking at the mouse that blundered into the trap.

[dicksbro]

A little bird told me a secret ... my car was it's next poop target.

[dicksbro]

Since Ying is feminine and Yang is masculine would YingYing be Lesbian and YangYang be gay? Then YingYang which would be traditionally female and male.

[gekkogecko]

So many brains...so little time.

[txgrneyes]

Always give 100% except when giving blood.

[gekkogecko]

In which case, you should give 110% ?

Namaste, bitches.

[gekkogecko]

Donate a kidney, you're a hero. Donate fifteen, people start asking questions.

[gekkogecko]

The effed-up past is the key to the effed-up future.

[gekkogecko]

There are two kinds of people in the world: those who divide things into two categories, and those who don't.

[PantyFanatic]

Someone who buys a lottery ticket is an optimist. Somebody that buys more than one is just BAD at math.

[gekkogecko]

^^^Too true to not even need twisting.