Kinda stumped

[Matte]

So I have been seeing someone from Michigan for a while now (I'm from NY). Its been a long distance thing for a while. I have mentioned her before on here I believe. Anyhoo I am a bit stumped on where to go or how I should feel (if theres any real way I should). She works a lot and I am finishing school for nursing. As I finish, I am planning on heading out toward Michigan to get a job and to be closer to her. We both have been set on this plan and while I am for the most part hell bent on my own place to start, she has slowly won me over to possibly moving in together off the bat.

So last night she had her girlfriends over and they all got pretty drunk. she called me when they were all there and was talking about how their messing around with some personal toys she had (joking-wise...not using them). I let them go and then got a call later that they had stopped at the store and her friends invited a buncha younger guys (complete strangers) back to her place. She called me up before she hit the hay to let me know her friends all took the guys to the bar and she was crashin out. Now I trust her a lot and don't believe she would do anything to betray that. We were talking and the previous night came up and she mentioned she had to clean up fast in the morning because her Realtor was coming early and she had the toys laying through the house because...well a bunch of drunk and sex toys go hand in hand (literally). Instantly I got a bit sickened by the though of strangers handling personal items of the nature and specifically they were bought around times that me and her actually had times we could kick it and meet up.

So I kinda let her know how I felt. Told her that I didn't want to control her life (like her ex)...but it kinda sucked being so far away and stuck finishing school...when I hear stories like that. I also recognize that she does work a lot and she really needs to spend the downtime living her life as she sees fit. We have a very verbal relationship and tell eachother everything...so its not like I want her to not tell me what she's up to. I can chalk some of it up to jealousy....I am not particularly happy where I am right now as far as personal life goes (alot of my friends are in other states) and I would love to be around her during some of the shenanigans. So its a mix of I'm not happy here...somewhat jealousy...and kinda irritation that something that was intimate between the two of us really isn't that intimate anymore. Am I going overboard in my insecurities?

[PantyFanatic]

.....they had stopped at the store and her friends invited a buncha younger guys (complete strangers) back to her place. .....
First! I need to know where her girlfriends shop.
;) j/k


We really have to define "insecurities". Paying attention only becomes an insecurity when suspicion over rides reality. It is very understandable how a long distance relationship can let the imagination twist facts when you are not able to share innocent fun moments together. She packed her friends and the guys off to the bar and called to tell you about the silly times. Doesn't sound like she is looking for anything more than fun adult times like we have here at Pixies joking and flirting with friends.

I have to ask if playing with your 'personal toy' bothered you when it was just her girlfriends doing it? :rolleyes2 Maybe you even enjoyed the idea. :rofl: If so, it was only the male mammal psycho-chemical reaction when other guys came around. I think it would be a mistake for you to pee on them to mark them as yours alone though. ;)

No one here knows her better than you and if your plans together are as stated, she's yours.
:2cents:

[gekkogecko]

^^^

[jbh3]

"First! I need to know where her girlfriends shop.
j/k"....first of all...CUT IT OUT PF!!!...YOU'RE KILLIN' ME HERE!!

Great advice from above but as I read it I had another angle in mind.
The friends are losing their friend and you're gaining a girlfriend......perhaps THEY are jealous of you and were trying to get your girl to go along with "one more for the road". Well it seems your girl knew where her allegiance lied and she passed with flyin' colors!!!
Just a thought....I could be wong....but I think I'm white.

[Matte]

Well its not really a last hurrah type deal. Actually most of her girlfriends are either recently or in the process of a divorce. so they are all kinda in party mode to some degree. I think it was more a mix of jealousy because I'm stuck here and also I got oddly worried that a buncha dudes were in her house with 3 drunk chics. Its not for lack of trust of her...but more for lack of trust of them.

As for the toys...I kinda went along with hearing about the girlfriends messing around with it...honestly not really because I liked the idea but because they were her close friends and have been for years. Kinda different when ya hear about complete strangers (male or female) doing the same. I also suggest that she would probably not be the most comfortable if I decided to do something like that with a female friend (most of whom she doesn't know because of the long distance).

Either way...thanks for the insight. Things are still chill with us...so all is well :)

[Oldfart]

If you're letting this prey on your mind, then you're not as confident of the relationship as you may be.

You need to either trust her completely or let her go. Distance relationships are not for everybody.

[Oldfart]

**BUMP**

Matte,

How did the relationship pan out?

Do not gloss over it, we want the nitty gritty.

Was she playing up?

[Oldfart]

**bump**

[Matte]

Seems to have panned out ok so far. I moved out to michigan once school was finished and am living with her now. The first few weeks were rough and patchy because of differences of our views and the way we do things and frankly I really am in a different spot personally than most of her friends. I just kinda stuck with being open about what I think and its worked out so far. I JUST got a job at detroit medical...so that will be a nice change of pace and something new and different. Only downside is the drive (roughly 1hr15min) 3 times a week for 12 hour shifts. Original plan was only to live with her for a minute then get an apartment closer to wherever I work until her house sells. But once I start working regular rotations, I will be better poised to figure out the living situation and what I can tolerate for drives to work. Thanks for the interest though! :D