Mainstream attention

[gekkogecko]

This could be good or bad...

http://www.newsweek.com/id/209164/page/1

[Lilith]

excellent!

[jseal]

Let’s hope that it gains general acceptance! :thumb:

[Oldfart]

To obtain true general acceptance, with fairness, you're looking at a form of poly marriage and divorce, with settlements which could tear apart the family.

[Lilith]

or an end to marriage :D :line:

[Rhiannon]

funny there is an article about a second life romance and i play that game all the time

[jseal]

Nor am I looking for this to become mainstream anytime soon. Still, perhaps it will become unremarkable in the fullness of time.

[CuteCoupleOz]

Great idea for consenting intelligent adults. But i do have qualms about how children fair if it doesn't work out or just falls apart. When divorce is so prevalent now and children are sometimes devastated losing one parent, what will they go through if they lose 2, 3, 4 or more? But again, for adults who realize and accept the situation, it sounds great. If nothing else, I hope it helps to make society more tolerant of non-mainstream lifestyles.

---kathy

[lakritze]

It's a great idea for the ones who can handle multiple partners.Unlike the same sex marriage issue, I doubt there would ever be a need for polyamoury activism.There are no real social benifits driving it to succeed. It is probably best to keep it on the level it enjoys now.If you are inclined to do it,just do it. Keep reading LOVING MORE,which I'm going to google as soon as I am through writing this. Back in the 70s I dated Poly Amour and her sister Poly Ester But I refused to go out with their redneck cousin Poly Wannacracker.

[rabbit]

Excellent post. I am very poly but would never express it to the degree stated in the article.

[Oldfart]

One wrong word and social geometry shows up, Poly Gone.

[gekkogecko]

^^^ :trout:

[Oldfart]

Sorry GG, it just had to be said.

[citrus]

To obtain true general acceptance, with fairness, you're looking at a form of poly marriage and divorce, with settlements which could tear apart the family.Hmm . . Perhaps, as long as there seems to be a GOD there'll never be "fairness?"
:box:
I believe that much in the monogamous form of marriage that we witness these recent decades has been maligned by poorly wrought bonds of misinformed love which ends tragically or are suffered with terrible emotional upheaval within the individuals in those marriages. :whack: Many, many marriages are remaining true to the monogamous form through perseverance and open communication amongst the family that are enjoying the wedded bliss through the happy years they live together. :console: YAYYYY! That's a very GOOD thing to have for the children to see and live and hopefully learn to share with others. Polyamorous marriages can endure and last long the same as monogamous marriages. The problems increase, multiplying exponentially with each new individual added to the poly household. :gb: Look at the way brothers and sisters and siblings in general fight. :argue: They then leave the central family unit without so much as a goodbye and find themselves wondering, years down the trail how things went so wrong. Mono & Poly marriages have that happen also, when cooler heads fail to prevail.
:grope:

[AZRedHot]

I've got no beef with monogamy, if that's what floats your boat. I'm good with ethical polyamory as well. I do think that the monogamous paradigm probably ruins more relationships unnecessarily than polyamory does; if you've got to dump a good love for no reason other than there's someone else that speaks to your heart, how's that a good thing?

On a personal note, I think my life would've been considerably easier if polyamory were something that people could talk about openly in this society. As it is, my family has no idea I was widowed 3 years ago, and no conception (not that they could) of what that has done to me. And his family didn't know me at all until it was too late, because he didn't feel they would be able to handle that he was involved in a poly relationship. If we could've just been who we were without worrying about the politics of it, perhaps a lot of pain could've been avoided for a lot of people.

ETA: Regarding OldFart's comment about polyamory (and the failure thereoef) tearing apart the family, I have a good friend who is in the middle of his second divorce, in Texas, where women are favored in custody. His first wife keeps their daughter most of the time, and he hardly gets to see her. This breaks his heart. His second wife brought a child from another relationship, whom he raised for several years as his own, and they had 2 together. He will never see his stepchild from here on out, because she spends weekends with her birth father, and now he shares custody with his two children. This is the result of traditional, monogamous marriage(s) on the family. That is not a plug for poly, but rather just recognizing that monogamy alone is no defense against the forces that will tear a family apart.

[jseal]

Let me add that a legal framework redefining marriage will be needed if poyamorous relationships are to be mainstream. I suspect that the revisions to the existing systems will also take many years.

[CuteCoupleOz]

AZ, my heart truly goes out to you, not just for losing someone you deeply loved, but also for not being able to express your grief and share in the comfort that could have been gained from others. It would seem that as far as society's thinking has come, we have so much further to go on an acceptance level. And that's not just to do with homosexuality or polyamory but in all areas. Whether it be a difference of race, religion, ethnic, "social class", size, physical attributes, intelligence, what you wear, where you live........the list of judgemental thinking can go on forever and get even more ridiculous. Even if others don't/can't understand or agree with another's life, at least they should just accept it. As long as the accepted life doesn't produce harm to innocent victims, just let them be, if nothing else.


*steps down from soapbox*

---kathy

[Rhiannon]

HI All
I am in a monogamous relationship to my soul mate. When i met him i was married to an man that was emotionally mentally psychologically and finally physically abusive to me. I called him one labor day and said i am leaving cya. we have gone through infertility testing and in the end found out he wasn't man enough to jack off in a cup. Blamed me for it.
How do i know this well when i moved in with my soulmate we miscarried twice.. we went through testing together. he was a true man. We have been together it seems as long as i can remember but leagally have been married for 10 years. We have a beautiful adopted daughter from china..

So honestly poly or mono no relationship is perfect. You have to work at it every damn day

*gets off her own soapbox

Rhiannon

[AZRedHot]

AZ, my heart truly goes out to you, not just for losing someone you deeply loved, but also for not being able to express your grief and share in the comfort that could have been gained from others. It would seem that as far as society's thinking has come, we have so much further to go on an acceptance level. And that's not just to do with homosexuality or polyamory but in all areas. Whether it be a difference of race, religion, ethnic, "social class", size, physical attributes, intelligence, what you wear, where you live........the list of judgemental thinking can go on forever and get even more ridiculous. Even if others don't/can't understand or agree with another's life, at least they should just accept it. As long as the accepted life doesn't produce harm to innocent victims, just let them be, if nothing else.


*steps down from soapbox*

---kathy

Amen.

And thank you.

[gekkogecko]

So honestly poly or mono no relationship is perfect. You have to work at it every damn day


That's really very much the point.