Pick-Ups i.e. at a bar

[Tigerlily78]

OK, I need some male opinions...what can a girl do to encourage some male attention? I think I'm doing everything I'm supposed to do...how overt do the signals have to be?

[Salacious]

You walk up to the guy and say, "Nice shoes, want to fuck?" The shoe comment may confuse him, but hopefully he'll get the rest. :)

[Tigerlily78]

OK...other than nice shoes...wanna fuck? Why do guys not understand the undressing them with your eyes and come hither smiles?

[smithy020]

We do understand the undressing with the eyes things and come hither smiles.

But personally, I just don't ever seem to pick up on them, I pretty much need the nice shoes wanna fuck line before i know someones interested in me!

[Tigerlily78]

Any other suggestions?

[Salacious]

I think it comes down to, you have to be a wee bit forward... okay maybe you don't have to say, "nice shoes, wanna fuck," but men want clear signals. They get shot down all the time and eventually get gun shy. They don't want to misread a lasses signals and suffer embarrassment of such, so they overlook it thinking it's the guy behind them.

So maybe you ask him to dance, or say, "if I buy you a drink will you have a conversation with me." Something to show you have interest in him. Smile and touch him. Be clear. But maybe not quite blatant.

[Tigerlily78]

I'll give it a shot...at least I figured out how to ease into the kiss... my friend and I actually did end up chatting up two guys, and when it was time to leave I suggested loudly to her that we should give them a kiss on the cheek...needless to say their heads turned at the last minute :P

[PantyFanatic]

:roflmao:

[Lord Snow]

I found out several months after I moved away from South Carolina that several girls I was friends with had an interest in me and I never picked up on it. I don't know if it's we get gun shy, if we're dense, or what. Most of the time one of the rules that have been passed around in e-mails labeled Man's Rules is true: subtle hints don't work, obvious hints don't work, if you don't come out and say exactly what you mean, we have no clue.

[PantyFanatic]

:banghead:

[citrus]

HI TigerL,
ok, try making sure the light is behind you rather than in front or too near either side. Your eyes will open wider, the iris will be larger (for more light) but larger iris seems to indicate greater interest and/or openness. Also, face straight on, don't see the man or object of your affection via the glancing view front the side of your eye. <roll, pitch, yaw> If your head is level, not tilting forwardly down and not lifted upwardly forcing a look up your nostrils, but pointing exactly in the same direction as your eyes, the person seeing your eyes, while looking into your eyes is allowed perfect symmetry in gaze, a most open, vulnerable and nonthreatening posture, as long as the smiles and ambiance are relatively positive in nurture. This is especially sure when the entire body is front facing aligned with head and eyes, all straight forward. A smile or at least a bit of a smirk or grin is important, it invites an engaging response to whatever stimuli is given, and is usually infectious.
pitch= the equiv. to nodding yes up and down;
yaw= the equiv to turning on a swivel left/right as in indicating "NO."
roll= the equivalent of tipping top of your head from ear on shoulder to other ear on other shoulder.

You can kiss me if you waaant to!
I might even get a boner if you think I could!

[Oldfart]

Stand next to him at the bar and say to him "make mine Scotch and dry" or whatever your poison is.

It's as close as you go without asking him for a fuck outright.

The alternative of course is the eternal ,"Can I come over and study your bedroom ceiling?"

[Tigerlily78]

Thanks, guys :) I'll try to bear all of this in mind...sadly I am not as bold in person as I can be on line...so next time I'll try to be braver...I can't possibly wear a lower cut shirt than I wore on Saturday (unless I want to risk an indecent exposure charge), but I'll try to come up with something. Out of curiosity...do you not realize that if a girl in a low cut shirt walks by you and brushes her boobs against you, that is a signal as well? :P

[Lord Snow]

It can be explained by a crowded a bar room, or you being a little soused, or any other of a dozen ways to keep us from having a confrontation of any kind. Goes with the "I tripped and accidentally touched your tit" excuse. It was done on purpose, but is explained away.

[Tigerlily78]

Well, I did unzip my jacket outside (while it was damn cold) to show a guy my shirt...it seemed to have the desired effect.

[Aqua]

Out of curiosity...do you not realize that if a girl in a low cut shirt walks by you and brushes her boobs against you, that is a signal as well? :P
What I would think is that you may have done so on purpose, as a signal, but if you didn't I'll look really foolish following up as if you had. I'd also be worried that I'd come off as conceited and hear something along the lines of, "Dude, just because I accidentally brushed up against you doesn't mean I want to talk to you. Get over yourself."

Guys have fragile egos. :p

[Tigerlily78]

Consider how low cut the shirt is and the smile :P I love that shirt :)

[jseal]

Tigerlily78,

Nice shirt also. :D

[Tigerlily78]

Thanks. I recently added a profile picture sans the shirt :P

[smithy020]

And very very nice that picture u have added Tigerlily......


xx

[Tigerlily78]

Thanks...you know, I grew those myself :)

[smithy020]

And there i was going to ask if and where i could buy myself a pair like that.......
or do they come as a package with you lol

xx

[Tigerlily78]

It's much easier to get them as a package deal, otherwise you have to spend years waiting for them to grow :)

[Oldfart]

Relax Smithy, it only takes 521,487,456 pints and you can have boobs like that.

[smithy020]

Damn it i dont drink any more, Can i just eat McDonalds and BK's instead to grow mine?

[PantyFanatic]

I truly believe our younger adults are more intelligent, mature and savvy than we ever dreamt of being at their stage of life experience. But this thread says there may be at least some validity to the 'communicating generation' losing real life interaction abilities. There is no way a lady like this could go near a club without a club, in the day. When a strangers smile and eyes can't send or receive a message that a spoken word is desired or welcome, the first step of "communication" has crumbled and little is there to build from. As part of the 'insensitive' or 'gender-cast stereotype' generations, a couple simple spoken words is the intercourse that takes you to intercourse.


:2cents:

[my_wldside]

I would agree they are more intelligent...but not at all savvy and definately not mature.

[Salacious]

I wouldn't contend that anyone is more or less intelligent than anyone else, group or generation. I think that "intelligence" comes from experience and education. I think perhaps we all encounter differences in both experience and education thus giving each of us a different perspective and baseline from which to measure, "intelligence."

I truly believe that all Tigerlily78 needs is some confidence and to know that it's all right for a woman to make the first move.

Gosh, I asked my husband out on our first date (we went to a bar and played pool and he even danced with me.) I think I took that lesson my dad taught me about getting ice cream transcended much further in life than he probably had the vision to see, but essentially, he told me if I didn't speak up I wouldn't get any... I used to be very soft spoken and very shy. But if you wait for what you want to come to you... it could be a very very very very long wait.

Just my view on it. Good luck girl... and speak up... with a rack like that people are going to, at the very least, give you their attention. *nods*

[Lord Snow]

One of the problems I see is that with the way things are compared to what my parents have told me from when they were my age, is more legal consequences. If I went up to a strange girl about my age and said "You look lovely this evening, would you like to get a drink" she could think that it's a standard pick up line or it's sexual harassment. The only thing that has seemed to stay the same is misinterpretation as mentioned before. She could have brushed up against me accidentally or on purpose. If it was on purpose we're good, if it was accident I'm going to make myself look like a fool and possibly piss off a boyfriend that I haven't noticed yet. In this case I must agree with Salacious, nothing wrong with her making the first move and Tiger, you do have a wonderful rack.

[Tigerlily78]

Well, thanks for the input everyone... I do my best to be confident, but in a world full of unrealistic ideals, I'm never really sure if someone thinks I'm hot when I think he's hot....thank goodness for liquid courage :) My friend (with whom I'm currently visiting) has just joined an online dating site and is having a blast...how do you all feel about such things?

[my_wldside]

This doesn't help Tiger lily but to comment again on Panty's and Sal's comments on "intelligence"

I don't think anyone is now i.e at this point in time is anymore or less intelligent than people ever were....many more young people are more educated than in years past...but unfortunatley they have much less experience in social skills, work experience, and practical knowledge than previous generations...these are the things that develop savvy and maturity


I wouldn't contend that anyone is more or less intelligent than anyone else, group or generation. I think that "intelligence" comes from experience and education. I think perhaps we all encounter differences in both experience and education thus giving each of us a different perspective and baseline from which to measure, "intelligence."

I truly believe that all Tigerlily78 needs is some confidence and to know that it's all right for a woman to make the first move.

Gosh, I asked my husband out on our first date (we went to a bar and played pool and he even danced with me.) I think I took that lesson my dad taught me about getting ice cream transcended much further in life than he probably had the vision to see, but essentially, he told me if I didn't speak up I wouldn't get any... I used to be very soft spoken and very shy. But if you wait for what you want to come to you... it could be a very very very very long wait.

Just my view on it. Good luck girl... and speak up... with a rack like that people are going to, at the very least, give you their attention. *nods*

[Lord Snow]

Well, thanks for the input everyone... I do my best to be confident, but in a world full of unrealistic ideals, I'm never really sure if someone thinks I'm hot when I think he's hot....thank goodness for liquid courage :) My friend (with whom I'm currently visiting) has just joined an online dating site and is having a blast...how do you all feel about such things?

An uncle of mine met his wife of a few years on one and is happy as can be last I knew. Other people I know have met some really odd (and I mean kind of scary odd) people. I think it's more or less hit and miss just like in a bar, just on a wider scale. You do have the opportunity to meet people you would otherwise not have known existed because they don't go to the same social gatherings as you. However, the same rules still apply. Meet them at a well known, well lit, public place. Bring a cell phone. Let a good friend or family member know where you will be and about what time you're supposed to be home. Just because they seem nice doesn't mean you should be stupid about it.

[Loulabelle]

Eye contact is the key. If you like the look of someone at the other side of the room - repeated and slightly prolonged eye contact with them should get the message across. Obviously you need to smile at them once in a while too, but smiling without eye contact may even make you appear more unattainable - like you're having such a good time with your friends, you're not interested in getting approached by anyone.

Also - try going out with your hair up. Exposing the neck and the wrists is a sure fire 'come hither' body language tell.

[Aqua]

Eye contact is the key. If you like the look of someone at the other side of the room - repeated and slightly prolonged eye contact with them should get the message across. Obviously you need to smile at them once in a while too, but smiling without eye contact may even make you appear more unattainable - like you're having such a good time with your friends, you're not interested in getting approached by anyone.

Also - try going out with your hair up. Exposing the neck and the wrists is a sure fire 'come hither' body language tell.
I concur wholeheartedly with the eye contact thing. Eye contact and a smile say a lot, but it boils down to, "let's talk".

[Tigerlily78]

I'll work on my technique ;)

[citrus]

Well, thanks for the input everyone... I do my best to be confident, but in a world full of unrealistic ideals, I'm never really sure if someone thinks I'm hot when I think he's hot....thank goodness for liquid courage :) My friend (with whom I'm currently visiting) has just joined an online dating site and is having a blast...how do you all feel about such things?It's works really swell if it's you & me! :sperm: :boobs: :loveshowe :rose: :daisy: :p :lurv: :hippy:

[Oldfart]

Tigerlily78,

Just keep in mind you don't have to be the hottest lady in the city, or even the bar.

You just need to be hot enough to grab and hold his attention.

None here doubt you can do this without breaking a sweat.

Then you'll get a chance to sweat. LOL

[Wolf's Woof]

I read a study once about pick up lines and it even talked a bit about women trying to pick up men, for sex or a date it didn't say. The women had a 100% success rate when their opening line started with 'Hello...'

You can do it! Sometimes we men need a Mack truck to hit us before we see things. Other times, we notice the little things. I say start with the truck!

[themi01]

I think though I've been outta the dating scene for a while just walking up to him or her and saying hi

[Rhiannon]

I Met my spouse online and we met as he came to where i lived for college graduation present just to visit. get minds out of gutter. i was married to my *bleck spouse at time and we were just friends. I then moved in the area to give the new start thing with hubby which didn't work out as he was an ass. He was always there for me. Many many years go back and i finally leave said spouse the day the divorce became final he said he was marrying me, well obviously i said he was out of his fucking mind.. Well this year July 17th we celebrate our 10th anniversary. yeah he gets to say he told me so that day every year.

so if you are brave and honest online sites can work. remember rules
1. if he gives you willys online don't agree to meet even for drink you wil be looking for rescue.

2. don't ever go the first time and meet alone. meet with friend and then if ok. make excuse and go to ladies room and let her know its ok to leave.since you men think we go in packs anyways

I say the 2nd one as i met someone long ago alone and came out shaking as he gave me chills and felt like if i didn't get away i was going to be raped.. I literally drove home shaking and locked the house doors. My best friend came over and first hugged me an gave me lecture i am typing here.

above all have fun

GOOD LUCK
Rhiannon

[Tigerlily78]

I've actually been with my bf for almost 4 months now, and we did meet on plentyoffish.....I recommend it highly :)

[SirGary]

...when I go to a bar to pick up women, I shy away from the women wearing chasity belts...

...if you can go naked, that might net you a man without saying a word...=)


...and Sal, when you asked for it, you really asked for it, didn't you....