Which are you?

[jennaflower]

Do you consider yourself to be dominant or are you more submissive by nature? Do you exhibit that trait in your entire life, or just sexually? Is it possible to be both?

For me, it isn't a simple explanation. In my professional life, I am probably perceived to be dominant and in control. In my personal life, I have always been dominant. That being said, because I have been celebate (and self reliant) for so long, I have a strong need to be submissive, to let go of the pressure of being in control and giving that "power" to someone else.

It makes me wonder if it is common for someone who appears to be in control to want to be submissive sexually.

Kisses. Again, looking forward to hearing your thoughts!

[Airy]

this is a great question! I feel dominant in my job (its a very male industry and I am having to prove myself to a few people). I have my moments sexually where I love to be dominant.

Lately I have wanted more and more to be submissive. So maybe a balance?

[Lilith]

I am dominant in every aspect of my life. That being said, there are times it's nice to relinquish control to someone I trust implicitly. But even then I'm pretty much topping from the bottom :p

[Lord Snow]

I've actually noticed a trend in the few people I've had this conversation in person with. Those that have to be in control in view of the public seem to prefer to be submissive sexually. I'm not sure on the opposite side though, if those that are the "grunts" in the work force prefer to be in control in the bedroom. Personally, I don't know which group I fall in.

[BamaKyttn]

I do my very best to appear calm, cool and collected and above all in COMPLETE CONTROL when it comes to how i am perceived by the general populous I can come across as very demanding and picky whereas in the bedroom not only do I want to be dominated, I enjoy being broken down, granted that may be due to me detachment issues but the question I hate to hear is " I don't care, how do you want to fuck?" sometimes it's ok...... but usually I prefer to not have to choose because I'm afraid it will disappoint my partner who may have preferred to cum in my ass rather than let me lick the flavor of my own pussy off his cock until he cums in my mouth...... >shrug< I am very submissive in the bedroom, I am supportive in the face of what I approve of in the way of a dominant individual, otherwise I will get rid of the offending dominant and take over doing their job in what I feel to be a more appropriate manner until I can find a more suitable person for the job...... the bad thing is I think I try to do this with relationships............

[Oldfart]

I really don't see myself as either, at work or play.

[Navarre]

But even then I'm pretty much topping from the bottom :p

And that will get you punished. :spank:

[gekkogecko]

Which is often the point of 'topping from below'.

[osuche]

I seem to be dominant in every part of my life, too. Occasionally I want someone to *try* and dominate me sexually - usually it doesn't work, though. It just makes the play more interesting. ;)

[1nutworld]

I'm dominant in the bedroom, just not to the extent that I wish I could be.

[marlborodasreds]

well due to my size and demeaner i come off as very very dominate. However in the bedroom i often find myself seeking a partnership rather than total control. In my dealings with people outside my home i can be seen as very aggresive however i try and temper it with humor.

[WildIrish]

There's a big difference between "being dominant" and "being the one that takes control".

I most often initiate and always lead during sex, but am very comfortable moving through life side by side.

[citrus]

I'm misunderstood. I'm submissive and introspective. People see my appearance and think I'm dominant. I actually am frustrated. I want to be dominant, yet at nearly every turn I accede to the recessive trait unfortunately the forward point of my make up. When i do get around to the dominant it's with emotional stirring of upset. :molest: I fear I'll go over the top in inability to control myself. OH, Dear, Oh my, what to do, what to do?

[Rhiannon]

very well said Wildirish


There's a big difference between "being dominant" and "being the one that takes control".

I most often initiate and always lead during sex, but am very comfortable moving through life side by side.

[jaycee51]

Submissive mostly,,,,but sometimes want to dominate with out dissapointing or displeasing,,,,,not sure that makes since.

[jennaflower]

Jaycee, your post made sense to me, I can relate.

Thanks for your thoughts everyone. Would love to hear more.

[scotzoidman]

I'd love to answer, but I'm not sure where I fall...like almost every other issue in my life, I'm right down the middle.

[Pita]

I'm dominant at work and in most areas of my life. However, I'm completely submissive to my Joe to the point of calling myself his slave. Life is good! :thumb:

[VaBeast]

Dominant in the work place, dominent in the bedroom (although I had a very intense experience in a submissive role), and in between I just go with the flow. Maybe I use up all that energey and agression at work?