Tips needed: Ass play

[jennaflower]

Hi everyone,

Recently I have begun having fun with a gentleman I have gotten to know online. We speak on the phone often and chat otherwise. In these conversations, we have both shared intimate details of what our turn ons are. We appear to be rather compatible sexually and I believe that there is a great likelihood that we will be getting together in the near future to explore our sexual compatibility.

He has a strong fondness for ass play, something that altho I have never experienced, am certainly very open to trying it. He has expressed to me the importance of preparing my ass for the experience

What I am looking for here is advice based on your own personal experiences. Do you enjoy ass play? If so, was there any particular methods you used to preparing your ass for the initial experience? Do you believe that you could have done something that would have made the experience better? If you have tried ass play, and did not enjoy it, I would like to hear from you as well. Is there a particular thing that you believe may have helped you to enjoy it more?

Kisses in advance for all you wisdom.

[TheOverlord]

in my experiance make sure it's clean and then use plenty of LUBE for anything!!! and go slow. it's alot of fun if done right, and not if you don't.

[Casperr]

The simple rule to remember is CLR - Communication, Lubrication, Relaxation. A tonne of each, and then some.

You have to WANT it. You have to be turned on, excited, really into it. It's ok to spend heaps of time on foreplay, y'know...

Practice by yourself. It's your butt, you need to familiarise yourself with it first, before letting someone else in there. Play with it, see what you like. With your own fingers, you have a better sense of what's going on that you do with someone else's. And y'know what? You don't have to take a whole fist up there immediately. Maybe just a finger to start with. It doesn't even have to penetrate. Just playing around with the opening can feel GREAT. Then move up to a finger inserted, and when you're comfortable with a finger up there, start moving it around a bit. Feel the texture, feel the sensations of something moving around there. Move your finger in and out, twist it around.... in short, experiment. Once you're happy and comfortable with 1 finger, introduce another. And get used to that.

Toys are great, too. Particularly butt-plugs - start with a small one, and when you're comfortable move up to a medium etc etc.

So basically, best way to play with your butt is slowly, with plenty of lube, and when you're in the right zone mentally.

Have fun, post pics and tell us all about it!! :D

[Lilith]

Wine helps too :D

[Casperr]

^^^^ In moderation. You don't want to be impairing your judgment or affecting your ability to feel pain. But a little extra help in loosening up, if you need it, is ok.

Also I should have mentioned health and cleanliness. This being the place where poop comes from, good idea to explore the area AFTER a bowel movement, not right before. I like to have a small enema before doing any play, but your mileage may vary. If you do, the ordinary Fleet disposable enemas are fine, but tip the solution out and just use ordinary plain water. It also depends a lot on diet - try to eat a healthy, high-fiber diet. A high-fiber diet is also good to preventing bowel cancer, so it's a win-win situation really.

Also with lubes, you obviously want to stay away from oil-based lubes if you're using a condom. Water based lubes are fine, but tend to get tacky or sticky and often need reapplication. I've found the best lube for anal sex is silicone-based lube, but be aware you can't use silicone toys with it or they'll deteriorate. I also recommend against Analese or other lubes that "numb" the area - you need to be able to feel if there's pain or discomfort so you can tell him to stop, slow down or whatever.

Also, for best results, take photos and post them on Pixies. And tell us how it goes :D

[Lilith]

I just had posting deja vu.

I totally knew you were going to sat that^^^^^^^ :D

[Jude30]

There is a problem with mixing alcohol and anal play, as has been mentioned. Alcohol dulls the feelings, and that's something you really don't want during anal play. Pain means you're doing something wrong, pain is a warning.

I'm a huge fan of Tristan Taormino, she's the author of The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women. I would highly suggest getting a copy of that book, it will give you all the information you could possibly ever want when it comes to anal sex. Her message board is here (http://www.puckerup.com/bboard/index.php?), and her website is here (http://www.puckerup.com/). Both sites contain huge amounts of information on anal sex and anal play.

I would also recommend a toy or two to work up to dick size. Most people aren't going to be fitting a cock in their ass the first night out.

Anal sex doesn't always have to mean dick in ass. There are a lot of levels of anal play so just stick with what feels good to you at the moment.

[Lilith]

Having been on the horny, recieving end (literally) I still suggest wine. I'm not advising a bottle, just a glass to set the mood and get your motor warmed up.

Problem with anal sex is that people have made it such a big freakin deal. It's not. Listen to your body. If it feels good do it. If it hurts, figure out why and see if you can modify something. If you get scared and tense up, it will hurt more just like vaginal sex. For some, the pain is part of the pleasure. (If your friend is who I think he is, this might be part of the appeal, the squeal :D )

Main rule is don't introduce materials that have been in your ass (or his) into your vagina afterwards. Otherwise- lube is your friend.

[wyndhy]

i usually need a tip to play with an ass, too.:D


i think lil's thoughts above are well ...er...thought. some good advice in here in general. have fun!. oh, and i'd have a glass of red myself. ;)

[jennaflower]

Thank you all for your advice! Each of you, have given me food for thought and certainly have helped to ease my concerns by answering my questions.

I am 100% looking forward to the prospect of experiencing anal pleasure, tho it is the unknown that causes apprehension. I have never been with a partner that ever expressed a desire to introduce me to this.

I am only slightly concerned about the possibility of not enjoying anal sex, as my main concern is that it pleases him. In all aspects of my sexual experiences, I have always been more comfortable giving pleasure than experiencing it myself. That being said, I believe that he also wants me to truly enjoy it and will be patient in teaching me.

I will certainly take Lilith's suggestion and consume a little bit of wine to help relax. Altho, it won't be very much as I don't want to "miss" any of the experience overall.

Again, thanks everyone. If/WHEN this comes to pass, I am sure we will take pics!

[Casperr]

What Jude said is all good advice - especially about Tristan Taormino. She's great!

Also remember any toy you put up there, has to have a flared base. Nobody likes going to the ER because their butt swallowed their toy.

[Lord Snow]

I realize this is somewhat unrelated, but does anyone else have a picture of a butt with an actual mouth swallowing something and then acting like a little kid that won't spit something out?

[BamaKyttn]

*turns bright red and claps a hand over his mouth*



sorry about that......... rotflmao.



Just remember SLOW if it hurts STOP and there is ALWAYS time for lubricant...... and don't be afraid of internal lubricant application

[Airy]

I realize this is somewhat unrelated, but does anyone else have a picture of a butt with an actual mouth swallowing something and then acting like a little kid that won't spit something out?

Now I do since you said it.

I think the best advice has already been given....slow and just listen to your body and what feels right....its all about having fun and feeling good in the end (no pun intended) and however that works for you. Slow, lube, patience, and what I find is most important is trust and being really turned on and into that...the mood has to be right :-)

[Lord Snow]

I guess I should apologize for my sudden out burst in my last post. It was kind of late when I posted that, and I was kind of tired. My mind does odd things when that happens. I would give advice from the giving part of the anal situation, but it's all been said. So has the request, twice. I hope it goes well and that you turn into a freaky anal baby like several others.

[Crown Of Ivy]

Pretty much a repeat but...
1. Go SLOW...it can be uncomfy initially.
2. Use LOTS of lube..and if it feels uncomfortable later in the game, you need MORE lube.
3. You can prep yourself with a small toy to start out with (again, lots of lube).
4. I found that it is a huge mental game. If you can force yourself to relax mentally and physically, things go a lot smoother.
5. If you are going to try DP with a toy, it's usually easier if the guy enters the rear first before you insert the toy.

[BamaKyttn]

it's okay babe....it was funny, you're cute you get away with a lot.

I really really enjoy anal, I have mind blowing loud knees shaking orgasms with his dick in my ass and my fingers on my clit.....it's really an amazing feeling to feel your orgasm swell as you feel his dick getting bigger as he gets closer to the edge and then you both go over at the same time....... >moans just thinking about it<

[Navarre]

I am of the sincere belief that successful anal sex consists of 85% attitude and 15% lube. That said, if you think you have enough lube, ADD MORE.
:2cents:

[popper70]

take ur time and let ur self go... use lube and let ur self go. if u want u can clean ur self before, make sure 2 get all th water back out again ;) oh, and let ur self go, just let u fall - fall in th rush of lust and fun.
my girls enjoys it a lot, and so do i - either if each of us is th passiv or active part...! ;)

[jennaflower]

Thanks everyone for sharing your wisdom with me. I look forward to putting your advice to work!

Hugs

[Aqua]

I (for one) look forward to hearing about your success!

I would have offered my own advice (as you know I am passionate about this act of lovemaking), but others had already given advice as I would have. :)

[Steve-O]

There is a problem with mixing alcohol and anal play, as has been mentioned. Alcohol dulls the feelings, and that's something you really don't want during anal play. Pain means you're doing something wrong, pain is a warning.

I'm a huge fan of Tristan Taormino, she's the author of The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women. I would highly suggest getting a copy of that book, it will give you all the information you could possibly ever want when it comes to anal sex. Her message board is here (http://www.puckerup.com/bboard/index.php?), and her website is here (http://www.puckerup.com/). Both sites contain huge amounts of information on anal sex and anal play.

I would also recommend a toy or two to work up to dick size. Most people aren't going to be fitting a cock in their ass the first night out.

Anal sex doesn't always have to mean dick in ass. There are a lot of levels of anal play so just stick with what feels good to you at the moment.


Sorry, I haven't had a chance to figure out how to "quote" just the phrase I wanted in some one elses post yet, lol... (First post, first reply)

Anal sex doesn't always have to mean dick in ass. There are a lot of levels of anal play so just stick with what feels good to you at the moment

It's a true statement. Regardless of your sex or sexual orientation. I have an "anal fixation" like your future/present lover does, or atleast from your description, it seems.

Let's begin from the beginning shall we? A few years ago my then girlfriend and I discussed relationship 'breakers'... Well, I'd had a few drinks and spouted out the honest truth. That being that if there wasn't going to be any chance of a long term relationship if anal sex wasn't on the 'menu'. To my suprise she took it in stride and started asking questions. I did some internet research and pointed her in that direction. I've always enjoyed giving pleasure to the women I've been involved with, and it still hasn't changed. It's of real importance to me. So, first, she needed to know that I wasn't going to hurt her. Second, that I wanted to make it a pleasurable experience. And third, and most difficult of all for most hetrosexual men, I was willing to experience the same from her. "All's fair in love and war" right?

So after impressing my need for anal play I left the ball in her court as far as discussion went. But slowly, ever so slowy, lol, I began to stimulate her other nether region during forplay, as well as during sex. Then one night we had just made love and I decided to make us a couple drinks and when I grabbed some ice I popped a cube in my mouth....

***Sorry gotta go, will return later to finish, seriously!!!****

[FlirtWithMe]

***Sorry gotta go, will return later to finish, seriously!!!****http://www.clipartof.com/images/emoticons/xsmall2/732_spanking.gif

Welcome to Pixies! I shall sit and wait for the next installment to see what happened with the ice cube :D

[dick]

Yikes! What a place to stop Steve-O. Hurry back...

[Salacious]

Being one that enjoys anal play, I've found a method that works for solo play. Should you get to the point where you feel you want to prep for cock to anal penetration but want some pre-game practice on the field; I'd suggest buying a dildo of size that doesn't scare you, with a suction cup base.

You can stick the base to a surface, such as a foot board of the bed or for me a bureau, these allows for feeties to slip under the furniture and permits you the ability to doggie-style yourself at a pace and depth of comfort and desire.

One of my favorite ways to masturbate ~ give it a go if you wish. Enjoy!

[jaycee51]

You should take lots of pics and share them on here,,,then we can tell u if your doing anything wrong, and make suggestions.

[citrus]

Sorry, I haven't had a chance to figure out how to "quote" just the phrase I wanted in some one elses post yet, lol... (First post, first reply). . . . . .
. . . . . . . we had just made love and I decided to make us a couple drinks and when I grabbed some ice I popped a cube in my mouth....

***Sorry gotta go, will return later to finish, seriously!!!****Hiya Steve-O!! Welcome to peeps!!!!!!!
Just write whatever you want between the words "quote - - - - /quote" There will be square bracket around each [open] and [/close].
I had a gf and a bf who liked to put an ice cube in me. I felt the chill, but we warmed it up pretty soon! :buttsex: