Monogomy, pologamy..pollyamory...

[Jax]

Okay, so I've been listening to some 'adult' podcasts recently, and several of them have really been bashing Monogomy.

The thing is, I can't figure out what they are suggesting as an alternative OR why they dislike monogomy so much. My guess is that they are linking short term marriages, or long term dysfunctional marriages and saying "ah ha! Monogomy is the root of the evil". But I struggle with that too. How many relationships (monogoumous or otherwise) have been wrecked by jealousy or being too easy etc.

But I don't know. I'm skeptical that there is a better altenrative (and no dis-respect intended to career singles, or happy as can be singles) when you find "the one".

So, I'm not sure what I'm asking. But I guess I'm curious on your thoughts. Monogomy..good? bad? Indifferent? Alternatives that are workable? Maybe ultimately it is a "too each their own and don't knock it" deal?

[Lilith]

I don't see why I should have to give up the "others" just because I have found the "one." I have a life partner yet still feel there is room in my life for other less traditional relationships.

[dicksbro]

Monogomy is right with me. It's fun to fantasize, but the truth is ... she's still the girl for me. Just Married ... 45 years ago ... and still on our honeymoon.

[gekkogecko]

Frist of all, terms...

"Monogamy" means single-marriage. Not necessarily single sexual partner.
"Mono-" or Poly-gyny" means one or multiple women
"Mono-" or "poly-andry" means one or multiple men
"polyamory" means manylove, and is not the same as marriage

Why bash monogamy?

Because this state has been forced down the throats of people for centuries at this point, as the *only* proper, upright, moral, etc. state of humanity.

Of course, when all is said and done, one usually finds that the idea of monogamy/monogyny in practice is applied only to a target group that the social elite wishes to control...be that women, as has been done throught most of the social history (either socially acceptable polygyny in teh sense of a prince or caliph keeping a harim, or political marriage with much dallying supposedly out of the public view, as exemplified most prominently by, say the English King Henry VIII), or a minority religious group, as when the more mainstream christain groups basically forced the mormons to adopt monogamy as their accepttable 'norm': many of the mormons went underground to escape what they saw as a form of 'oppression'.

The idea of monogamy, monogyny, monoandry, is *not* the "natural" state of humanity. There is no "natural" state that can be picked otu from human evolutionary & cultrual history. Some people, AS INDIVIDUALS, perfer monogamy, some prefer polygamy, some perfer serial monogamy or monoamory, that is, a single partner for some period of their lives, then moving on to a different partner for whatever reason.

And yet, monogamy is not only held to be the absolute social and moral norm, it is usually enshrined in law as a control mechanism on society.

In that sense, and only in that sense, it is offensive shit, and I cordially invite those who insist on foisting said offensive shit down the throats of others to shove their shit back up their asses where ti belongs.

Whereas, if any given individual chooses to be monogamous or monamorous with any other given individual, hey, cool by me.

[jseal]

Jax,

Are adult podcasts commercial products? If they are, then perhaps the editors are hoping that bashing conventional behavior will generate sufficient controversy that more of them will be sold.

[rabbit]

I don't see why I should have to give up the "others" just because I have found the "one." I have a life partner yet still feel there is room in my life for other less traditional relationships.


^^^^
What she said.
:)

[Oldfart]

Monogamy is pushed by the state for reasons religious and social.

The religious is obvious.

The social is more complex, and yet more simple. Despite the evolutionary imperative for the species to breed from it's "best" or "fittest", a society of breeding elite surrounded by a disenfranchised rabble is not likely to remain stable. A society where most of the populace has a partner is likely to be ultimately more productive and "happy" and controllable.

It also creates a framework where pockets of nonconformance can exist with minimal impact on society in general.

Hereby endeth the speculation.

[Jax]

Hmm...Okay, counter point. Or at least a challenge on the religion comments.

What about religions where a man has many wives? Or several wives? Not monogamy.

As for are adult podcast commercial and is it a method to spark interest. Could be. But it is more of a "let's rip it because it is obviously wrong" type approach without a lot of thought or alternative suggestions. I guess not much real deep thought, just this is bad.

[scotzoidman]

And yet, monogamy is not only held to be the absolute social and moral norm, it is usually enshrined in law as a control mechanism on society.

In that sense, and only in that sense, it is offensive shit, and I cordially invite those who insist on foisting said offensive shit down the throats of others to shove their shit back up their asses where ti belongs.

C'mon, gg, we're all friends here...let it out & tell us how you really feel... :D

[Oldfart]

What about religions where a man has many wives? Or several wives? Not monogamy.

I live in an area where there is a military base which skews radically the social balance. This leads to violence at drinking venues when "meatheads" full of rum and testosterone decide to impose their self-importance on the poor buggers who fail to notice it.

I suspect that even in Islamic countries, most men can only afford a single wife.

[gekkogecko]

Hmm...Okay, counter point. Or at least a challenge on the religion comments.

What about religions where a man has many wives? Or several wives? Not monogamy.

Already answered:


Of course, when all is said and done, one usually finds that the idea of monogamy/monogyny in practice is applied only to a target group that the social elite wishes to control.

[jseal]

Jax,

It has been my experience that much criticism is without deep thought. It is much easier, in both the Arts and the Sciences, to tear something down than it is to build something up. The critics who rant on about subjects they little understand are, alas, rewarded when the controversies their shallow comments generate attract larger audiences.

On a different note of “you can have too much of anything”, I bring you this warning from someone who knows what he is talking about (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7547148.stm).

[AZRedHot]

Bravo, GG. I agree with everything you say. (Believe me, I'm as surprised as you are! :D)

As a polyamorous person, especially as one who was widowed by her lover, greater acceptance for a variety of relationship permutations would've made my life infinitely easier. Because polyamory isn't widely accepted, I am essentially closeted, which, while somewhat difficult when I was actively involved with two men, has actually been more difficult in the wake of one's passing. My entire family of origin has no idea of the magnitude of my loss, because I knew there was no way they were going to "get" the reality my husband, my lover and I were living.

I have no problem with monogamy; what I have a problem with is the closed minds of folks who think their way is the only way, regardless of what their way is about: relationships, religions, what have you, and anyone who chooses otherwise is deviant at best, and headed straight to their vision of hell at worst.

An it harm none, do as thou wilt.

[BamaKyttn]

I've always heard
the true definition of a barbarian is one who thinks the customs of his tribe are the customs of the world.




I second you AZ babe these eight words...

[Prophet Reality]

I am in an open marriage, for various reasons. One of which is my own culture of being invloved with more then one person, be it male or female. SO when my lady and I got together that was something that was discussed when our lives became more entwined.

For my situation it has become a true pleasure, although at sometimes it has been difficult, but in the long run it is great.

[osuche]

I think it's possible to love more than one person at a time. I'm not good at casual sex, but I think I might be good at polyamory.

It's hard to make this work and keep a steady home life, though (raise kids, responsible job, etc)...and I admire those who succeed.

[Prophet Reality]

I think it's possible to love more than one person at a time. I'm not good at casual sex, but I think I might be good at polyamory.

It's hard to make this work and keep a steady home life, though (raise kids, responsible job, etc)...and I admire those who succeed.

It is a lot of trust and good timing and knowing to play and when to be friends. It definitely has it's benefits though.

[Oldfart]

And still no-one's mentioned the parrot.

[AZRedHot]

And still no-one's mentioned the parrot.

The love that dare not beak its name?

[Oldfart]

"Scratch Cocky"

[citrus]

I believe in monogamy. :whack: :banghead: Not for me however. I'm not sure what to believe about polygamy. :3way: Is it not emotionally or spiritually healthy? It's illegal, for mainstream religion's controlling interest. It if were to be legalized, I suppose I'd have no question about it. Polyamory is the way of love. I believe open love is essential in my human sensuality. It encourages me to be transparent, more open, honest and truthful. :molest: :grope:

[wyndhy]

i believe in love. love is not a glass to fill up. it's not even an ocean to fill. when we love, we don't need to love less so we can fit in a new-found love. it just grows.

i believe in individuality.

[Irish]

Monogomy is right with me. It's fun to fantasize, but the truth is ... she's still the girl for me. Just Married ... 45 years ago ... and still on our honeymoon.
It's only 42yrs for my wife & I.It works for us but to each their own! Irish :)

[Lilith]

i believe in love. love is not a glass to fill up. it's not even an ocean to fill. when we love, we don't need to love less so we can fit in a new-found love. it just grows.

i believe in individuality.

i believe in wyndhy. :D

[Irish]

Correction!I usually only check at Pixies,once a day now.I just noticed that I
must have hit the "2" instead of the "3".We were married on May 1 1965,so
it's 43,not 42. Irish :spank:

[gekkogecko]

Hey, 42, 43...it's obviously been working for you, so why sweat the details? (says the lizard who can't type anyway).

[Oldfart]

Congrats to Mrs Irish (LOL). And you TA.

[scotzoidman]

Math Anxiety Happens :shrug:

[jseal]

Reprise: “you can have too much of anything (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7574757.stm)” :yikes:

[scotzoidman]

Don't. Just don't.

[jseal]

:rofl: