hi peeps

[wyndhy]

(((big hugs)))

i know i haven't been around much lately but i've got some news about myself. it's not good news. i wanted to keep you all informed though.

i've got breast cancer. we don't know a whole lot yet. only had a biopsy. it's invasive, though, and radiation and surgery are all on the to-do list. chemo is very likely but not definite yet.



love you guys

[IowaMan]

OMG wyndhy, I'm so incredibly sorry!

(((((((((((((((((wyndhy)))))))))))))))))))

I don't know what else to say hon so I'll give ya a peck on the cheek. :x:

[GreenChef]

Oh My

My Deepest condolences
Be Strong, I believe faith and a proper mindset are important in dealing with such things
(I know it ain't easy but...)
Words are just words,
but you have friends here to support you
I hope you have good Doctors, you trust who are gonna take good care of you

Take Care
You can beat this

[wyndhy]

you're damn right we can^^:D


it sucks, but it's not a death sentence. :p we're keeping a positive attitude. the cancer jokes are already flying. i don't want anyone feeling sorry for me, just add your name to my petition for remission to the universe.

[wyndhy]

oh, and if anyone has any good sources of info, please share.

[jseal]

wyndhy,

I am sure you will beat this, and I hope that you will beat it soon!

I have - we all have - missed you. Log in whenever you can!

John

[PantyFanatic]

So very sorry to hear this news. :(

Now the task is to see how soon we can get this pain-in-the-ass taken care of. Please keep us post as they progress with the procedures so we can have this behind us as soon as possible. You KNOW there are a lot of people here genuinely concerned and will be watching. :x:

[jay-t]

(((((((((((Wyndhy))))))

[Neige]

I'm so sad to hear, wyndhy. When in a few weeks I shave my head as a fundraiser for the Canadian Cancer Society, you are one more person I am going to think of.

[Fangtasia]

(((wyndhy))) My thoughts will be with you.

[fzzy]

Sending positive thoughts, prayers and on-line hugs your way ... you are right, it is not a death sentence ... just a bump in the road .... but hope you get the best possible results with the least amount of trauma to your system!!! (((((wyndhy)))))

[sodaklostsoul]

(((((((((((((((wyndhy))))))))))))))))

Just adding my name to the petition for remission!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Scarecrow]

((((((((((((((wyndhy)))))))))))))

Sending good vibes and well wishes your way.

[Lilith]

wyndhy- just checking in from vacation where I've been busy spending time with m sis-in-law who has had some serious knock down/drag outs with breast cancer. It is recoverable. I know many women who have beat it and have every faith you will too.

Emu oil- it cures any problems post radiation! Trust me it really works.

We are here to be your sounding board, shoulder, or to laugh when you are ready too.

[scotzoidman]

you're damn right we can^^:D


it sucks, but it's not a death sentence. :p we're keeping a positive attitude. the cancer jokes are already flying. i don't want anyone feeling sorry for me, just add your name to my petition for remission to the universe.
Good, love and laughter are good medicines...& I'm signing your petition right now!

[Lilith]

OMG I just realized where the petition comes from.(((((((((((((I haven't finished the book yet)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I signed it, my mom signed it, my dad, my husband, my sons, my sis in law, my bro in law, their kids, all the teachers at my school signed it, Brad Pitt just signed it, Angelina and Viv and Knox just signed it, President Bush just signed it, Elizabeth Gilbert just signed it, Prince Charles just signed it, Jon bon Jovi just signed, my friend Renee just signed...

I'll get some more sigs while I sleep :x:

[gekkogecko]

Gahajahhahah ewwjeoiweriuwwewewew arrrghthggh

Shit, I hope things go as well as they can from this point. Cancer is ugly stuff to deal with.

[Pita]

(((((wyndhy)))))) You will beat this and be a much stronger woman for it. Hang in there and kick it's ass!

[FlirtWithMe]

Hi wyndhy, I'm new around here and we haven't crossed paths before but I couldn't read your post and not reply.

I'll be thinking of you and sending you positive thoughts for the few months whilst you fight this. Your positive attitude will help you through the bad times.

I know of a website that could be useful to you so I'll pm you the link.

[rabbit]

My MIL has beaten it back twice. You will, too. Be strong, have faith.

(((wyndhy)))

[Coaster]

It is beatable!

But I'm sending prayers your way to help make you and your whole family stronger!

(((((((((((hugs sweetie)))))))))))))

[wyndhy]

thank you all so much. :x: your support and love means more than i can say.

[wyndhy]

thanks for the emu oil tip, lil. you wouldn't believe all the peeps who've signed my petition. :D

[dm383]

No info I'm afraid, only {{{{{{Wyndhy}}}}}}

Added to my prayers as of NOW!

[osuche]

(((((((wyndhy))))))) - I'm not one for prayers, but I do wish you well. I'll also be damn happy to help in any way I can...with hugs, or even a place to crash if you want to escape to Cali and recover. ;)

There's nothing you can't beat...cancer included.

[Aqua]

wyndhy, you're in my prayers and I have no doubts you will beat this. You're not allowed to reach the clearing at the end of the path for many many years.

Long days and pleasant nights.

Love ya!

[WildIrish]

My MIL beat it decades ago, and my neighbor did it a mere 18 months ago as well. It wasn't easy, but nothing worthwhile ever is. You're in my thoughts & prayers.

I signed your petition while Lil slept.

[Lilith]

If you sleep with me we could sign it simultaneously :D

[WildIrish]

How could Mrs. WI and Mr. Lil object to such a worthy reason as this?

Maybe they should sleep together and sign it as well. :D

[wyndhy]

:p sure, use my cancer as an excuse to commit adultry. sick, people. really sick.














who do i write the excuse note to?:D

thanks for the good thought ya'll! :x:

[scotzoidman]

:p sure, use my cancer as an excuse to commit adultry. sick, people. really sick.

With this crew, it's a matter of whatever excuse is available..."Hey, there goes a Toyota, let's fuck!" :3way:

[Lilith]

Fuck For The Cause. I'm in.

[wyndhy]

and out

and in and out and in and out, in, out, in, out, in, out........:D

[Teddy Bear]

Thinking of you {{{{wyndhy}}}} and praying for full recovery!!

[scotzoidman]

and out

and in and out and in and out, in, out, in, out, in, out........:D
Dammit, you stole my comeback!!!

[wyndhy]

thanks teddy (((hugs)))


*raspberries* at scotz:p

[jennaflower]

With the love & support that you will get from this lovely bunch, the cancer doesn't stand a chance! Faith & Hope & Love will get you thru this.

[scotzoidman]

*raspberries* at scotz:p
You think just because you got a little cancer, you can get away with that?

Well, ok, maybe you can...

I would be remiss in not offering my best wishes for reasonably painless treatment & speedy recovery, whatever else comes. I also had a former SIL who still survives to this day after her bout with breast cancer some years back (she outlived my brother & has outlasted two subsequent husbands, BTW)

[wyndhy]

:D ty scotz and jenna.
my family's love and support had been pretty intense and awesome too. it's pretty nice to feel so loved. not that i wasn't loved before the cancer, i guess cancer just makes me even more lovable:p

i'll keep ya'll posted on what's going on as i can. so far i have lots more tests to get - a bone scan, a ct scan, an echo, gene testing and blood test results . mastectomy is the way to go, the tumor is large, with chemo to follow. double mastectomy if i test positive for the brca gene mutation. radiation is a possibility after all the other stuff, including reconstruction, is done. it sorta depends on how close the tumor is to the bones in my chest.

[Lilith]

So are you surfing for new bewbs yet? I think you should post pics of your options and we can vote :D

My mom kept having surgery every 6 months because of false positives on mamograms and eventually she asked if they could just give her the mastectomies and start from scratch. Instead they put in metal markers where they have already checked so they don't keep digging in the same spots.

[wyndhy]

lmao. hubby wants c cups :p

[scotzoidman]

And of course, he's willing to pay for each additional cup size? ;)

[Aqua]

lmao. hubby wants c cups :p
How does he like these?
http://img530.imageshack.us/img530/4854/ccupsyc5.jpg

:p

[Lilith]

Can his penis fit through the handles?

[wyndhy]

lmao. (((aqua)))
i dunno, lil. is that pic to scale? :D

[Aqua]

You know, you could almost use those cups as implants if you cut the handles off. Then you have boobs and he has cock rings.

Except your boobs will look like fish heads...

http://img373.imageshack.us/img373/8169/ccupimplantxe6.jpg

[wyndhy]

rolly polly fish heads....

[Lilith]

eat them up yum :D

[wyndhy]

i just snorted

[scotzoidman]

Took a fish head out to see a movie

[lizzardbits]

Didn't have to pay to get it in.

Long time ago, in a galaxy far far away... I was aquianted with a breast cancer survivor who, rather than having reconstructive surgery after a double mastectomy, she chose to "honor her scars and 2 years post cancer anniversary" she had a beautiful rose, lily and butterfly tattoo in and around her scars. She only showed the top part with a bit of rose and vine and butterfly wingtip, as the other parts were for her and her husbands eyes only. She said that it really helped to "own" her body back after all the medical treatments and for her to feel womanly again. She also said that she was rather large chested before and an unexpected side effect was her chronic shoulder/backpain was cured and she was loving a bra free life.

You are a strong woman and I know that you can and will beat this!

[wyndhy]

i'm loving all the personal stories people tell me. there are as many stories as there are survivors. just goes to show us that it takes all kinds, and there isn't a right way or a wrong way to do anything, just our own way.

thanks for the good thoughts liz!

[Irezumi Kiss]

As a certified breast-man who has contributed to breast cancer drives every year and has done a walk-a-thon when work time didn't intrude, you're in my prayers and positive vibrations to the universe for your future well-being, Wyndhy. :x:

Don't let it stop you from being sexual, though. I hear good sex can be a cure-all for body AND mind! :hump:

[wyndhy]

ty for that advice 'zumi. i'll do my best. swear. and thanks for the good vibe ...er vibes.:p:D

[PantyFanatic]

It's only giving back some of the good 'vibes' :boink: you have given us. ;)

[gekkogecko]

Rolypolyfishheadsareneverseendrinkingcappuchinoinitalianrestaurantsorgoingoutwithwomen

[wyndhy]

i always thought that line said "with oriental women". :o

[Lilith]

it is :p

[Lilith]

I read about this, this morning. Seems it's contagious... http://www.cnn.com/2008/SHOWBIZ/TV/08/03/applegate.cancer.ap/index.html

[wyndhy]

well, there was that one time we kissed...:p

things have been crazy but moving alongwell. i'm going in for my surgery tomorrow. nervous but otherwise ok. hugs and kisses, you beautiful people.

[Lilith]

Love you wyndhy. Take care and I'm hoping you get a male nurse you can boss around :D

It is what it is. (((hugs)))

[WildIrish]

You've always been in my thoughts, and you'll be in my prayers tomorrow.

You are a strong, beautiful and incredibly bright woman (intellectually as well as spiritually) that will undoubtedly notice something quirky in the operating room and say to everyone "remind me to tell Pixies about that".

[Lilith]

http://gcbasketball8.wikispaces.com/space/showimage/Feel-Better.gif

http://i126.photobucket.com/albums/p90/mollypeds1/feel_better_nexie.jpg

http://image.blinkyou.com/glitter_images/getbetter.gif

[sodaklostsoul]

What Lilith ^^^^ said!!!!!!

Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[jay-t]

Still in our thoughts and prayers Wyndhy

[osuche]

((((wyndhy)))) - you'll be in my thoughts and I am wishing you well!

[rabbit]

All the best to you, wyndhy!

:)

[Lilith]

I don't have any details but I just wanted you guys to know she's ok.

[osuche]

:line:

[dicksbro]

I don't have any details but I just wanted you guys to know she's ok.

YIPPEE!

[Oldfart]

Good, but chase details please.

[sodaklostsoul]

Thats good to know.............thanks Lilith!

[Scarecrow]

Glad to hear that she is OK, best wishes wyndhy.

[dm383]

I don't have any details but I just wanted you guys to know she's ok.


Yay!!!

:D

[PantyFanatic]

I don't have any details but I just wanted you guys to know she's ok.
I like the words :) ... but I want to see her posting back here SOON. :nod:

[Lilith]

I'm sure it will be her first impulse when she can lift her arms. :rolleyes:

[Oldfart]

Now don't get in a flap about it Lil. ( worst lifting arm joke I got at the spur of the moment)

[wyndhy]

lmao^^^ i actaully have flaps. skins flaps. eeeewwww.:p

hi all (((hugs))) thanks bunches for the bunches of good thoughts! i'm in great spirits, sore and all hoppy on percs. boobless, perhaps, but tumorless too - and future-ly tumorless as well, with luck. my nuses (all female, alas) were wonderful but it's very good to be home. got home thursday. path came back on my lymph nodes and three out of 5 were clean. i have these nasty drainage tubes coming out of my skin (think borg from star trek. double eeew ans shiver) that empty into these rubber bulbs. they work on suction, if you get my drift. i actually have to "milk" the tubes a few times a day and empty the bulbs and they totally gross me out. one time i tried to grasp the thing to close to my skin and i litterally almost passed out. i can't seperate myself from the sheer ickiness of it:D. luckily the doc said just grasping them below my bra line is good enough. oh, and i've got approximately three thousand staples in the skin on my chest.

did you puke yet? well...you said you wanted details.:D:p

(((more hugs)))

[osuche]

(((((wyndhy))))) - I'm just happy you are home, and the prognosis is good.

[Lilith]

No puking. I adore you, pumps, staples, skin flaps and all. I don't like your lymph nodes. When I had my surgery 2 years ago to remove the tumor, I had 4739573985 staples too and they were just below the heaviest part of me. I felt like thy had put in a zipper :p

Keep healing!

[jseal]

wyndhy,

Good to see you back! :) I hope your recovery is rapid and your remission complete. :thumb:

[Oldfart]

What he said.

[dicksbro]

Wyndhy,

Sure glad you're back home and it's fantastic to see you back at Pixies. We'll keep up the good thoughts and prayers while your healing. :thumbs:

((((( HUGS (gently :) ) )))))

[wyndhy]

you all are the best bunch of people a girl could ever hope know. :x:

[gekkogecko]

did you puke yet? well...you said you wanted details.:D:p


Yes, I wanted details, and no way was any of it going tomake me puke.

So, there are no signs that the cancer had metastisized? That's a major relief.

[WildIrish]

Hey gorgeous! Not only have I NOT puked...I'm actually smiling! And you don't need to worry, I've always been a big fan of Staples™.

(((((Air Hugs)))))

[PantyFanatic]

:console:

[jay-t]

Glad to hear things went well and your in good spirits!

[wyndhy]

a very sincere thanks to you all. (((hugs))

gg, no signs of distant metastatic disease, but there were 2 nodes containing cancer cells, and the tumor itself is multifocal (two kinds of cancer all rolled into one convienient package:D) so radiation is a go after chemo. i get my borg implants out this afternoon (YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and i'll learn mor abouth the path report then. i'm pretty sure i'm still sage 3, maybe 3bor c but with no signs of distant metastasis, that's still good news 'cause i'm still curable.

[faerie_princess]

that's still good news 'cause i'm still curable.

Fantastic!

Much well wishes your way luv!

[gekkogecko]

'cause i'm still curable.

That obviously applies only to the cancer.

[Coaster]

((((((((((((((wyndhy)))))))))))))))

Love you girl..... I KNOW you'll beat this thing. Glad to see you here and posting.... that's a great sign! :kisser:

[wyndhy]

That obviously applies only to the cancer.
well, duh. :p

thanks all. (((hugs)))

[IowaMan]

Oh wyndhy, I'm so glad to hear you're home and that the prognosis is good.

((((((((((((((((((((((wyndhy))))))))))))))))))))))) :x:

[Lilith]

Are you really Christina Applegate????? :D

[Aqua]

((((((((wyndhy))))))))))

Glad to hear you are on the road to remission.

I will continue praying and sending you good thoughts. :x:

[wyndhy]

:D lmao @ lil

(((hugs for everyone!)))

I figured I’d move this to personals, this way it’s not cluttering up the main stuff, but still there for anyone who cares to know about what’s goin’ on.

I get my port on tuesday and I have to have another heart test before we can proceed with chemo. apparently the echo I had showed that my heart only pumps out 45 to 50 % of the blood in it with every beat. that’s no good for one of the drugs I’d be on. my doctor is skeptical of those results and so I’m having a MUGA which is a more accurate way to measure. if it turns out I can’t receive this one drug, chemo will not be as effective, but we’ll cross that bridge if we need to. if I can receive it, I’ll have 4 treatments over 8 weeks of one cocktail and 12 treatments over 12 weeks of another. I’m also eligible for a phase III clinical trial that is testing another drug in addition to the standard stuff (phase III’s are only a few steps away from mainstream medicine) there’s a 20% chance I’ll get a placebo, a 40% chance I’ll get the new drug with my second cocktail, and a 40% chance I’ll get the new drug with the second cocktail and an additional 10 rounds (once every three weeks) of just the new drug. basically, I could end up in chemo from anywhere between 20 – 54 weeks.

I may be starting chemo as early as next friday. the earlier the better as far as I’m concerned. I wanted to start today but that damn hippocratic oath got in my way. :p plus we’ve got some thinking to do about the trial.

so far I’m healing up very fine, if I do say so m’self. sore, of course, but nothing too bad, frustrated with my range of motion, and hating that physical therapy is NOT an instantaneous process. patience is not my strong suit. :D

[Lilith]

*crosses her fingers the first tests were fuck-ed up-ed*

I have been hearing some commercials in my area about http://www.mammosite.com/ for radiation therapy. Have you read into it?

[wyndhy]

yes but i'm not a candidate

[denny]

Hang in there. The chemo gets real old, but it sounds like it is your best option. God bless.

[wyndhy]

thanks denny ((hug)) say hi to fl for me

[Oldfart]

And I thought I could complicate things!!

We'll discuss this at PAGAN10.

[wyndhy]

tell me about it. that's why i have a binder.
pagan sounds like a nice carrot.


i'll be starting my chemo next friday. heart test was good (62%) and i entered the trial. won't know if i got the wonder drug til about the 20th week. also won't know if i'll get the other 10 doses til then either. i have drugs, drugs and more drugs to take. over the counter stuff, too. for now, the treatment is worse than the disease, but it's all for the good of my future and the future of my family. anything that i can do to have a better, brighter future i'm all for.


thanks to all of you - for your support and love and laughter. thanks for listening and thanks for caring. (((huge hugs))) and xxxxsloppy kissesxxx

[Lilith]

ha ha. I kept a binder of my kid's stuff when he was little and the CP was so much more ummm CP-ish :p I hope you use fingernail polish to draw little flowers, hearts and lightening bolts all over it :P

[wyndhy]

i have some pictures and cards from my kiddos slipped inside the clear plastic cover

[gekkogecko]

for now, the treatment is worse than the disease

For now, but if you had ignored the presence of the disease...

glad you didn't.

[sodaklostsoul]

wyndhy.......do you need to hide the pills in apple sauce to take them :D?

Sounds like you have a handle on this.......big hugs to ya.

[wyndhy]

apple sauce!? *gag* no way i could keep that shit down.:p:D

fucking snafu! my ekg showed a prior heart attack with poor r-wave progression. total bullshit. the effin tech didn't place the leads in the proper place. dumb asshole. this meant that my oncologist needed to talk directly to the dr. interpreting the test (who obviously just let the machine give him the results without looking closer). the dr. interpreting the results then looked at my other heart tests, and said (surprise!) there was no reason not to proceed with chemo. this delay, as well as a fun game of phone tag, kept my oncologist from enrolling me in the trial on time (if i had actually had a prior heart attack, the study would have to reject me based on the damage the drugs can do to my heart) so now it's entirely possible that the study drug from the trial will not arrive in time for my treatment on friday morning. after talking to my oncologist on the phone, i told her to call me on thursday if the drug came in, otherwise call me on friday when it gets there. it may only push back my treatment for a few hours, or i may get to go as scheduled, but still. grrr and double grrr. clusterfuckingfuck. i swear, just give me an iv stand and a damn stethoscope and i'll do the shit myself.

on a lighter note:p:D- i get to give myself a shot of white-blood cell boosting wonderdrugs the day after my first four rounds. my doc thinks i'm nuts but i told her there was no way i was going to find a sitter for the kids just so i could drive all the way back to the hospital for a shot in my leg that would take all of three seconds. if i can't do it, i know hubby can, and if that doesn't work, my insurance does cover home care if i need it. i say it's just good practice for when i become a junkie:p my insurance is actually mailing the shit to my house. if i'm not here to sign for it, my insurance co absolves itself of all responsibility and i must pay for replacement drugs if needed ... at a cost of 12,900$ (that's 3,225$ a shot people!) guess where i'll be on thursday?:D

[wyndhy]

uhm...please excuse my potty mouth.:o

oh fuck it. i can curse if'n i wanna. fuckity fuck fuck fuck.:p:D

[Lilith]

Um. Everyone in the owrld is a dumb ass at one point or another. I'm sorry you had to deal with so many peeps having their dumbassedness day concurrently.

And fuck, fuck, fuck from me too. Remind me to teach you the fuck song :D

[scotzoidman]

The late great Warren Zevon had the perfect words to sum up a day like yours ;)

My Shit’s Fucked Up

Well, I went to the doctor, I said, "I'm feeling kind of rough"
"Let me break it to you son, Your shit's fucked up."
I said, "my shit's fucked up? I don't see how"
He said, "The shit that used to work, won't work now."

I had a dream, Ah, shucks, oh, well
Now it's all fucked up It's shot to hell

Yeah, yeah, my shit's fucked up It has to happen to the best of us
The rich folks suffer like the rest of us It'll happen to you

That amazing grace Sort of passed you by
You wake up every day, hang your head and cry

Yeah, you want to die But you just can't quit
Let me break it on down, That's some fucked up shit

Yeah, My Shit’s Fucked Up
Fucked Up

[wyndhy]

awsome^^

[gekkogecko]

I think Scotzoid has it just about right.

[wyndhy]

:wave:
just checking in. the stuff they gave me to help curb the nausea works great. mildly queasy, tiny constant headache, food tastes weird and i'm pretty tired all the time but mostly good. all things considered, i feel very lucky to have escaped with only a few minor complaints.

[scotzoidman]

And wouldn't it be great if they could just give you the medical WackyWeed for all that. You'd still have all the complaints, but you just wouldn't care.

[lizzardbits]

*toke toke* Du~u~u~u~de! (cough, hack) ~*~giggles~*~ That's some goooood medical! (cough) Anyone for some brownies?! ~*~giggles~*~





duuuude.

[Airy]

*toke toke* Du~u~u~u~de! (cough, hack) ~*~giggles~*~ That's some goooood medical! (cough) Anyone for some brownies?! ~*~giggles~*~





duuuude.
MMMM brownies!! ::giggle::

[wyndhy]

hit hit pass.
i've killed motherfuckers for less. :p

[wyndhy]

fyi, if you care...

my next treatment is friday. and godDAMN these two weeks went by way too fast. i had a chemo-hangover for about 5 days, mostly from the "pre-meds" and the mild queasiness went away about then, too. still dealing with headaches and heartburn. totally tolerable though. and i actually have something to report that relates to this site! my sex drive is fffffffft. it's not a chore, by any means, but i just ain't feelin frisky. and when i do get to orgasm, it's lame. lacking somehow. not sure if that's a state of mind thing or side effect or a bit of both. sucks though. food tastes a little better, but still not quite right. i switched to baking soda mouthwash, instead of salt, to help with the little mouth sores i get and that seems to have helped some. and i still have my hair! but i suspect it will be gone in about a week. which, i admit, i don't know how i'll feel about. i handled being suddenly boobless pretty well already so i figure the hair should be easy. then again it's so ... right there.

i am going to ask my doc to fiddle with the pre-med dosages, see if i can't get that druggy feeling to go away a wee bit earlier. you see, it's not a good druggy - like a la-la i am happy to be on drugs druggy - more like a fuzzy, can't focus, short tempered, bad trip, jane stop this crazy thing druggy. drugs, drugs everywhere, and not a drop to cheer. :D

[gekkogecko]

you see, it's not a good druggy - like a la-la i am happy to be on drugs druggy - more like a fuzzy, can't focus, short tempered, bad trip, jane stop this crazy thing druggy. drugs, drugs everywhere, and not a drop to cheer. :D

Oh, ug. So much a major bitch. Still, it's better than the cancer.

Major illnesses are a bitch, and there's just no way around it.

Still, you do seem to be dealing, so that's good.

[Lilith]

I am vain. SURPRISE!!! I have donated my hair twice but know I would have trouble dealing with the loss of it too. Did you take pics??? When it comes back it will most likely be different from what I have heard.

I told you I would sacrifice myself and do your hubby for you. I'm a giver :D

These weeks have gone by fast. Maybe, just maybe, the whole thing will go by fast and you'll be done with it all and cancer free, ready to move forward with all the great things you have planned to do with your life.

[wyndhy]

*sniff* that's an awesome thought!
we did take a pic! we have a silly after pic planned as well.


gg - you're durn right it's better than cancer....
most stuff is. :p:D

[scotzoidman]

and i still have my hair! but i suspect it will be gone in about a week. which, i admit, i don't know how i'll feel about. i handled being suddenly boobless pretty well already so i figure the hair should be easy. then again it's so ... right there.
Hey,I really think bald chicks are hot, too...well, maybe not so much Sinead O'Conner, but even she has that somethin-somethin going on...

[osuche]

Hair is just stuff. What defines you is *you* -- which is a pretty damn awesome mother, wife, and friend. I love that you're fighting cancer and winning.

But I sure hope the next few weeks fly by. :x:

[dicksbro]

Osuche is right. You;re super, wyndhy ... with or without hair. We just want the cancer gone for good so you can catch up and pass jseal in the posting count. :thumbs:

((((( HUGS )))))

[wyndhy]

lol, db. fat chance, but i will have time for a bit more smut-gaming.:)

i love you guys. (((hugs)) and thanks :x:

i have a quick thought i wanna share.
i've had a couple messagesfrom pixies saying that they are thinking of me, but feel bad or guilty or unsure of posting here. i know this sucks. cancer sucks. that's all there is to it. it's hard and it's hard on your friends and family. it's even hard on people you've "never" met.:) i'm here to say DO NOT feel bad if you've had the same thought. you don't have to PM or post here or do anything that you don't want to, but don't think for a second that just because i don't hear from you personally, or that because you don't post here, that i think that means you don't care. this thread isn't here for me to keep shoving all this cancer crap down your throats, or to garner hugs (or pity) when i post updates. it's the opposite. it's just to keep you in the loop, so to speak, exactly because i know many of you do care. :sun:

[scotzoidman]

And that ^^^ is why we love you so much, & why so many of us do care...

[wyndhy]

aw shucks. get goin' :x:

treatment #2 is over. WOOT! two nasties down, two to go. i cut out the dexamethasone. feeling less drugged, more nauseous, and a few other things are a bit worse without the steroid to help control them. totally tolerable so far, though.

my hair is coming out like crazy. started yesterday morning. we're gonna do the shaving ceremony today or tomorrow. all will be present. hubby and son wanna shave too. oldest daughter does locks of love so she's abstaining. and the baby's already bald.:D

oh! and my pubes are falling out too. ya know the expression snatched bald?....:roflmao:

[osuche]

Well, that's one bennie. You get to skip the razor burn for a while. :p

[Lilith]

My intern has no eyebrows either. It's sort of Whoopi Goldberg-ish.

Your cancer (or currently lack there of) has nothing to do with why the peeps here love and respect you. You garnered those feelings from people long before cancer interupted your plans. What cancer does though, is scares people. Cancer is non-discriminatory and therefore a fear we all share.

I'm sorry you are losing your hair. I am sorry you lost your boobies. But I am happy that both can be replaced in one way or another. You will have to be the judge on whether or not it was a price worth paying to be cancer free. I'm sure your family (the one here too) is grateful you are strong willed and determined enough to go through this in order to give them more time with you. I know I am.

[lizzardbits]

I love your kick ass 'tude

I will love you here or there, I will love you anywhere

I have nearly 3 feet of purple red hair hanging around on my noggin--you want it?

Hey, I'll even shave my pussy bald for you *grabs big grey cat* oh, wait wrong pussy.

In 6th grade, I shaved off my eyebrows and my mom had to teach me to pencil in my eyebrows until they grew back otherwise I'd look like Bozo. It worked for a while and no one noticed until a few days later I gave myself a hugh bruise on my forehead from a large suction cup. Then everyone noticed my bruise and lack of real eyebrows and was the laughing stock of the school for quite a while.
---Moral of the story--don't give yourself a forehead hickey whilst you are sans eyebrows.

[Irezumi Kiss]

aw shucks. get goin' :x:

treatment #2 is over. WOOT! two nasties down, two to go. i cut out the dexamethasone. feeling less drugged, more nauseous, and a few other things are a bit worse without the steroid to help control them. totally tolerable so far, though.

my hair is coming out like crazy. started yesterday morning. we're gonna do the shaving ceremony today or tomorrow. all will be present. hubby and son wanna shave too. oldest daughter does locks of love so she's abstaining. and the baby's already bald.:D

oh! and my pubes are falling out too. ya know the expression snatched bald?....:roflmao:
When all this is over, keep the baldie and get some righteous tattoos on your back and arms. Preferably full-sleeves. Dress in denims and leathers and cutoffs with patterned pantyhose more often. You'll rock bad-girl sexiness and not just because your hoo-hoo is silky smooth.

http://headshaved.shavedheadgirls.com/2008-06-02/01/00.jpg

http://altporn.net/wp-content/images/466f09eed8ac4-apneatic_56.jpg

http://www.plazaone.com/rldc/redlite/hair/kat/pistol_vegas_mailorder_nun-m.jpg

So sexy being bald. And I'm not just saying this to be glib, I've always felt this way, even before the alt-porn craze!

[sodaklostsoul]

:wave:

[FlirtWithMe]

I love your kick ass 'tudeI love that you're fighting cancer and winning.:nod: Totally in awe of how positive you're being, Wyndhy :thumb:

There's a female TV presenter in the UK (Gail Porter (http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/hairloss/Pages/gailporter.aspx)). She lost all her hair suddenly and without warning to alopecia. Her attitude to the hair loss totally kicks ass, and I love what her boyfriend at the time is said to have said: “When I lost my hair, James was amazing. He said, "So what? You still have your face, your heart and all the important things."Wyndhy, I wish you all the best for the remainder of your treatment and will continue to keep you in my thoughts whilst you fight this :)

[wyndhy]

:roflmao: oh man i am laughing so hard.

i think i'll skip the tats (and the purple-y hair:D) but i'll keep the 'tude.;)

you guys are the best! thanks for the support and the chuckles. (((huge hugs)))

[jseal]

wyndhy,

When your hair grows back, do not be surprised if it is different. You may find the curl has changed, the texture, or even in some cases the color. Something to look forward to.

[wyndhy]

yup. we kept some for comparison purposes. not the only thing to look forward to, though - an end to these treatments is MUCH anticipated.:)

[Aqua]

Your cancer (or currently lack there of) has nothing to do with why the peeps here love and respect you. You garnered those feelings from people long before cancer interupted your plans. What cancer does though, is scares people. Cancer is non-discriminatory and therefore a fear we all share.

I'm sorry you are losing your hair. I am sorry you lost your boobies. But I am happy that both can be replaced in one way or another. You will have to be the judge on whether or not it was a price worth paying to be cancer free. I'm sure your family (the one here too) is grateful you are strong willed and determined enough to go through this in order to give them more time with you. I know I am.
QFT!

I lost a good friend to cancer. I'm not interested in losing another.

I also want to add that I am glad you are frequently updating this thread. The unknown is a well from which much fear is drawn.

Thank you for keeping this part of your family in the loop. :molest:

Long days and pleasant nights. :)

[wyndhy]

(((hugs))) i'm not interested in being another. :)

i'm sick. grrrrr. the rugrats have infected me with their vile, rugrat germs.:D but unless i'm running a high fever or my white blood cell count is low, i'll still be able to go tomorrow. this interim went by pretty quickly again, but there is a teeny tiny part of me - the part that doesn't want to do any of this - that hopes i get a reprieve, just to temporarily sate the procrastinator in me.:p

i totally love my noggin! it’s actually quite prettily shaped, no weird concave or convex malformations. yup, i like me noggin just fine. i got head, baby.:D.

[lizzardbits]

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51RqCHUPkcL._SS500_.jpg

Can I practice my phrenology skillz on afore said noggin'?

[gekkogecko]

I hope it's not the "corrective" version of phrenology.

[wyndhy]

:yikes:^^

a willing guinea pig, i am, liz.

[Lilith]

It's tomorrow already again????????????????????????????????????????

[sodaklostsoul]

:cool:

[Lilith]

Just wanted you to know I was thinking about you today.

http://mamarant.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/10/12/pink_ribbon.jpg

[AZRedHot]

Hugs, Wyndhy. I'm late to this thread, but I wanted to send hugs. Your attitude (even with germs) is inspiring. I'm sorry the big C found you, but damn if you're not kicking its sorry ass!

[wyndhy]

:wave: ty guys!:x:
it's been a while, heh? i feel like poop still. this cold is taking forever to get better. otherwise i'm doin' good. last A/C treatmant this week. wOOt. big hugsez.

[Scarecrow]

(((((hugs))))) and good wishes to you wyndhy, last A/C treatment is good. Take care of that cold.

[wyndhy]

halloooo! LTNS...again. :x:
ahhh, well, so far the next round of "easier" stuff really is easier. queziness is practically non-exsistent ergo no antiemetics ergo no icky antiemetic med side effects. sweeEEEt! no blood count boosting shots, also nice, AND my energy level is much better. the rest should only get better too. (although i'm told my libido will likely not be making an appearance for a while yet. le sigh)

ok. that's about it, i guess. just poppin in to say hi, i'm still here;), doin' well and hardly complaining much at all.:D (((hugs))) ttfn

[Aqua]

Glad to hear it's getting better!! :x:

[FlirtWithMe]

Great news, wyndhy :thumb: Hope the easier stuff continues to get easier as the days and weeks go by :)

[Oldfart]

Soon you'll be back in overdrive.

[lizzardbits]

How ya doin'?

[PantyFanatic]

Yeah! You're overdue with an update and there's a lot of us that don't like that. :mad:

[wyndhy]

:) you guys are sweet to care so much.

all's still reasonably good and definitely better than it was. still no antiemetics needed (unless you count weed, which i don't :D:p) the damage that the first round of nasties inflicted is still improving - i can actually use a toothbrush again so i don't need to clean my teeth with baking soda and a paper towel anymore, and when i wipe my bum i no longer cry.:p no leg pain (a common side effect of the taxol) so i dodged that bullet. slightly tingly finger tips and lips - no biggie. and a few vision thingies, floaters and a blurry spot in my right eye. need to see the eye doc. and also hotflashes – a possible indicator that i've been thrown into early menopause by the chemo, or not. i need to wait at least a year from the end of chemo to be sure.

oh! and i have "chemo brain” (lmfao) – a complaint expressed by many peeps who take the dose dense regiment as i did. my vocab is dwindling and sometimes i can't recall words for stuff or i say the wrong word. it's sorta hard to explain but often i'm thinking the correct word in my head but another word comes out of my mout - always has the same beginning sound but it's the wrong word. kinda disconcerting. doctors have often dismissed this phenomenon as a stress problem, not a chemo side effect, but more and more are beginning to take it seriously and are doing studies (my onc's partner is conducting one at the moment). chemo drugs do not cross the blood/brain barrier, which is why it's sorta been dismissed, but that doesn't mean that something else isn't going on. i'll be interested to see the results.

i have met again with the radiation oncologist. she took an extremely long time to tell me that she does recommend radiation even though there are no US trials that support her, and the french and canadian trials have been soundly trounced by US oncologists. i really picked up some weird signals from her - it's as if she feels that her profession is the least respected when it comes to breast cancer. she blamed the lack of US trials on the reluctance of surgeons to recommend a patient for a phase 2 or 3 trial because of fears that someone who needs radiation would be randomized to NOT get it and vice-versa. i said that seems like a perfectly reasonable fear for a surgeon or a patient, that at the very least (barring last-ditch efforts for the terminal) minimum standard of care should be given. she reluctantly agreed but admitted it does make for some controversial issues in regards to patients like me who do not have 8 or more lymph nodes that showed cancer cells. in my case, the cells were a very high grade (meaning that they looked about as different from normal cells as you can imagine) and there is just no way to know if there are other nodes affected without more surgery. specifically, removing all the axilla nodes. surgery is dangerous of course, and there is the very real problem of lymphedema. there is also the very real fear that there are more nodes contaminated though. i feel that there are. like i mentioned, the two that tested positive were so far gone i feel that there is no way they were the only two affected. radiation has its problems, too. a slight risk of lymphedema, and the beam will nick a part of my lung and heart and that can cause serious (and cancerous) damage to those organs of course, and then there are the complications it causes for reconstruction because of the damage it does to the skin (the least of my worries at the moment). so i've got some research to do.

all in all, i’m feeling sooooooooooooooooo much better and grateful for it. and my kids are handling it great. there’s the occasional fear for me and hate of the treatments expressed, but for the most part hubby and i are keeping them well informed in a non-threatening way and breaking it down so they can understand and not be afraid of it without actually making promises. i feel bad about that but i can’t lie to them. better that they understand all the possibilities, but know that there are some that are way more remote than others. focus on the good, ya know?

so that’s it. long update but i think i covered it all. except this … love you guys! :x:

[Lilith]

I can confirm other instances of chemo brain. My intern definitely had the same speech processing issue you describe. Some times she would notice it and be embarrassed, other times she was a bit indignant with the kids, "Yea that's what I said." When they corrected her. She too had the finger tip issue. I wanted to get her the rubber thumb covers like people who count money/papers use but was not sure if she would like that.

If you do radiation use emu oil for the dryness. My sis in law said it was the best stuff. We bought it for her to try from a local farm. They squeeze the emus right on site :p

[wyndhy]

emeeeeeeeeeeeew.:D

[gekkogecko]

What, wyndhy, you don't secretly want to squeeze emus?

[PantyFanatic]

So! We have more in common than just my lust for you. I didn't have the treatment or even have breasts to get 'chemo brain'. :wobbly:

[Oldfart]

Watch with the emu-bashing you lot!

That's half the Oz Coat of Arms you're disrespecting.

[scotzoidman]

No one said anything about bashing emus, just squeezing them.

Emu squeezer. Now that'd be an interesting item to have on one's resume. Wonder if the pay is any good.

[lizzardbits]

Squeezing an emu,
or glowing in the dark,
Just know that I love you!
like trees love their bark.


uuhhh yeah--poet I am not. Talk like Yoda now, I do!

[wyndhy]

yeeeeeess.

[osuche]

I'm happy to know that things are going as well as (or even better) than expected. I think about you often and I'm happy you're well.

And you didn't need all that vocabulary anyway.... :rofl:

[Oldfart]

Dress like Yoda does she too?

[lizzardbits]

Strong, the Force is with Wyndhy. Kick ass 'tude, has she. Mmmm Beat this, she WILL!!!

[Oldfart]

Mmmmmm beat this. Like this talk i do for many reasons.

[Lilith]

mention beat someone did?

[dicksbro]

:starwars: The force is strong with Wyndhy!

[Scarecrow]

Yes, she is a Jedi fighter :jedi:

[Lilith]

[ Vader] Wyndhy I am your father [ /Vader ]

[Oldfart]

[ Vader] Wyndhy I am your father [ /Vader ]

Beats any lousy jedi mind trick, it does.

[wyndhy]

[ Vader] Wyndhy I am your father [ /Vader ]
:yikes:
i'm not sure what form of illegality my thoughts about you should take now. :D



talk like yoda, yes, yes, but LOOK like yoda, hmmmm? no, look like yoda you do not.

i do.:D my hair is coming back a bit on this next round of stuff and it looks rather like the hairs on yoda head.:p

[gekkogecko]

But what about the hairs elsewhere?

[wyndhy]

still bald snatched.

[Lilith]

Better than being snatched bald. Hairless is one thing. Scalpless is entirely something else.

[Aqua]

[ Vader] Wyndhy I am your father [ /Vader ]
This makes me so proud! :D

[wyndhy]

:wave: all's good. well, still alive anyway. :p

chemo's done! (end of last month) radiation finally starts next week. i ditched my old doc. she was whiny. :D 5 weeks total for radiation, then color me finis! hopefully forever.

[Lilith]

((miss you))

[Scarecrow]

gets yellow crayon ready to make wyndhy sunny.

[FlirtWithMe]

Good to hear, Wyndhy :thumb:

[gekkogecko]

i ditched my old doc. she was whiny. :D 5 weeks total for radiation

You're not having her irradiated, are you?

[Lilith]

In the movies in the 60s when you radiate stuff it grows ginormous and terrorizes small towns. Just warning.

[scotzoidman]

In the movies in the 60s when you radiate stuff it grows ginormous and terrorizes small towns. Just warning.
> picturing a 50-foot tall bald wyndhy terrorizing the city....

[wyndhy]

uh...s'cuse me, that's a 50 foot tall, slightly fuzzy-headed me terrorizing the city:p

[wyndhy]

You're not having her irradiated, are you?
naw.
but she can go fuck herself.

[scotzoidman]

uh...s'cuse me, that's a 50 foot tall, slightly fuzzy-headed me terrorizing the city:p
Maybe that's true for now, but irradiated giant people always lose their hair in the process. You could look it up.

[wyndhy]

the hulk has hair...oh wait, that's gamma radiation.:p

all's going well, just a little singed. radiation is already half over but having an appointment a day is really messing with my free time. :x:

[Lilith]

I am sure. I miss you. I hate cancer.

[Aqua]

What she^^^ said. Word for word.

[scotzoidman]

:withstupi


Free Time...what a concept...

[wyndhy]

I Am Done!!!!
i had my last radiation treatment this morning!!!!:D:D:D:D woOOOOOOOOOOt!

[jseal]

Congratulations! :thumbs:

[wyndhy]

thanks!!!

[Aqua]

Fuckin' Eh right on!!

((((wyndhy)))))

Congratulations!!! :line:

[Lilith]

I'm so happy. I hope your life gets back to better than normal really soon.

[PantyFanatic]

http://www.super-smileys.com/images/smileys/1156.gif (http://www.super-smileys.com) (((Wyndhy))) :line: ( :hump: ) :line: (((Wyndhy))) http://www.super-smileys.com/images/smileys/1156.gif (http://www.super-smileys.com)

[osuche]

Awesome!!!

[FlirtWithMe]

Excellent news Wyndhy :line:

[gekkogecko]

Done? Properly glazed, evenly cooked, tender & moist and all that?

[wyndhy]

carmalized and cooked to perfection with a slighty crispy exterior.:p:D

Thanks guys (((huge hugs)))

[GreenChef]

Been away fro some time
missed lots
Glad to hear things are better
it is a bad Disease
I know too many people fighting the fight
here and elsewhere
Hope you are feeling your old self

[Lilith]

Lovies,
I received an email from BIGbad today. Our fair wyndhy passed away in his arms Christmas afternoon. I know so many of you loved her, as did I. She was so damn funny, you know smart funny and that was so refreshing. She had a spirit that came through in her posts that made us all adore her. Over the years we had been in touch but I had not spoken to her in a very long time. I debated keeping her passing a secret so that she would live on here, but BIGbad wanted me to let you all know. When I get the details of the service I'll send flowers from us all, or maybe a bonsai which is what her avatar always reminded me of.

[jseal]

:( :( wyndhy & BIGbad

[Lilith]

:console:

[WildIrish]

:console: to BIGbad and her family, out in the real world and here, and :console: to you too.

She was a very special person that meant a lot to so many.

[dm383]

:console: to BIGbad and her family, out in the real world and here, and :console: to you too.

She was a very special person that meant a lot to so many.

No more to say than this.

DM

[Lilith]

and she would have appreciated him saying it with his dick half hanging out of his pants like his avatar :p

[sodaklostsoul]

So sorry to hear that, she was really nice!!!

[BIBI]

I was thinking about her this past week.....
So young, so very sad!

She was such lovely young woman and my thoughts are with her family, as are my condolences.

[Teddy Bear]

I didn't know her well and only remember speaking to her a few times. But this news has felt like a kick in the head. There needs to be a cure for not just breast cancer but for all those ugly cancers. This should never have taken her from her family. Please support your local cancer research.

My deepest sympathy to her family. Keeping them in my thoughts and prayers.




Lilith, TY for sending flowers or bonsai, from us. Please PM me your snail mail address and i would be happy to contribute toward the cost. Teddy

[dicksbro]

This is certainly terrible news. Our hearts go out to family and our prayers are for her and all those who loved her so. Teddy Bear, I agree, there needs to be a cure for all cancers. I know they've made progress, but, we need lots more.

[WildIrish]

and she would have appreciated him saying it with his dick half hanging out of his pants like his avatar :p

She liked me just the way I am and appreciated the juxtaposition of "nekid respect". To act otherwise would be an insult to that.

[Lilith]

The service is the 4th. I sent these from Lilith and Friends http://ww30.1800flowers.com/product.do?skuCode=90233L

[PantyFanatic]

There are never words say to myself let alone others when we lose someone we truly care about. Thank you Lil for representing us. You and I will talk more.





:tear:

[gekkogecko]

Fuck, somehow I missed this thread until today.

This just truly sucks.

[Lilith]

It does suck but I told BIGbad we'd be here if he needs us and of course her posts and stories will live on always here.

[Aqua]

I wasn't ready for this. I guess we never truly are
are, but I expected to see a message that wyndhy missed us and was sorry she wasn't on here anymore. I'm so sad. She was always so positive and her warmth always came through in her posts.

Thank you for letting us know, Lil, and for sending flowers.

My prayers go out to Bigbad and her family.

[lizzardbits]

It does suck but I told BIGbad we'd be here if he needs us and of course her posts and stories will live on always here.
My heart just aches to learn of her passing. Love to Bigbad and family. Thank you Lilith for representing us.

[Lilith]

I got a call that the flowers were delivered to the funeral home tonight.

[dicksbro]

Once more, thank you Lilith! Really do appreciate you taking care of that for all of us.

:x:

[rabbit]

I wasn't ready for this. I guess we never truly are
are, but I expected to see a message that wyndhy missed us and was sorry she wasn't on here anymore. I'm so sad. She was always so positive and her warmth always came through in her posts.

Thank you for letting us know, Lil, and for sending flowers.

My prayers go out to Bigbad and her family.


What Aqua said...

[Coaster]

THANK YOU Lil for letting us know!

I'm feeling so sad knowing this .... we always had some positive banter. BigBad I'm so sorry for your loss..... she was a wonderful woman.

[Teddy Bear]

How fitting PF's tag is...

real world of cyber people ~ Pixies ~ real people of the cyber world.

It hurts because she was real to us.

[Rhiannon]

What Aqua said...


thank you for letting all of us know lilith. she was a very positive person. heaven and the angels with be a better place with her

[Fangtasia]

I'm, well I don't know what I am at the moment. I didn't know, just caught this and am just a bit lost actually

BigBad, so sorry for your loss.

[Lilith]

((hugs)) to all of you. It shocked me too. I sat in the Home Depot parking lot and just sobbed when I got the email from BIGbad that I thought was from her.

I believe she knew how much we all loved her.

[PantyFanatic]

And you...
....I debated keeping her passing a secret so that she would live on here, but BIGbad wanted me to let you all know.....
*AWWWwwwwK* Wrong answer, and always will be. She was one of US.

[jbh3]

God Bless

[FlirtWithMe]

So sad to hear this. My thoughts are with wyndhy's family.

Like Teddy Bear, I didn't know wyndhy as well as I know some pixies and communicated with her only a handful of times but I liked her and imagined, from her avatar, that she was very much a free spirit dancing in the forest.

May she rest pain free and in peace.

x

[osuche]

I just heard the news today. She was a wonderful lady, and she will be missed greatly by me and so many others.

If the measure of our lives is the span of people we touched and loved, her life was truly great.

[ReaperWoman]

I saw her avatar picture floating about facebook the other day and it sparked a curiosity in me to revisit here. Am very sad to hear this news. I didn't know her well, but she was such a lively, positive presence here.... My thoughts are with all of you who knew her better, I'm sure your lives have been enriched for the knowing of her. xxx

[Oldfart]

I've only just heard.

Bugger.

[scotzoidman]

Read this three or four times, still at a loss for words.

[Lilith]

Yesterday was breast cancer awareness day in my town and the whole place was lit up pink. I thought about Wyndhy off and on all day. Missing her smart assed and thought provoking humor.

[dicksbro]

No doubt she's still watching us and saving up her humor for the we come to join her ... hopefully several years or decades from now.

In any case ... sounds like your town does it right. Any pictures?

[Wyndingroad]

I am sure that she is watching over all of us and laughing her ass off! Thanks for remembering her that means a lot to me personally. Pixies was her favorite fun place, and she often call you crazy nut balls part of her family.

I know that she would have certainly laughed at Breast Cancer Awareness month or day with a giggle and a smile saying something like..."Oh I am aware of it!"

Her birthday is coming up and I hope all of you have fun on her witchy day!

Cheers!

[Lilith]

(((((Hugs)))))