Poly talk

[faerie_princess]

Hello everyone. Lovely evening. I think it is anyway.
*shrus*

Just a random question.

Are any of you out there in a polyamorous relationship?

[BamaKyttn]

I am not currently involved in a poly relationship, my dearest Lord Snow doesn't share. Its cute. but I've been invited by one current pixie man and one ex pixie man to join as either a relationship participant or to be the Mr.'s lover in an open marriage ( with talk of myself and the Mrs.'s lover having our own rooms in their house no less.) while both ideas are intriguing I'm currently happy where I am, besides it's not like their offers will expire and I'm sure with my track record Lord Snow and I won't last forever.



Always,
Kyttn

[gekkogecko]

Are any of you out there in a polyamorous relationship?

No, I'm in two polyamorous relationships, and one monoamorous relationship.

[AZRedHot]

I was actively polyamorous until my lover passed away two years ago. Now I'm still polyamorous, in that I love two men. Just one of them isn't here in body anymore, so as far as it looks to the world, I am in a monogamous marriage.

[WildIrish]

I am, and I must admit that there is nothing quite as natural feeling as this. I wouldn't trade one minute of it for all the tea in China.












Oops, sorry...I thought you said "Dolly-amorous relationship". My bad. :roflmao:

[scotzoidman]

Kinda like gg here, I'm quite polyamorous, but the relationship that matters is strictly monogamous... :shrug:

[AZRedHot]

I take it you're making the point that you, personally, are poly but not in practice? I think that's a good point.

[faerie_princess]

Here's a bit of my story:

So I recently find myself dating a guy who is poly. He was straight up with it when we met. He's not one to beat around the bush. But anyway, so we still are dating and I've met his SO (they're getting married v soon and they've been together for about 2 years now) and she's also poly and OK with him seeing me as well.

BUT....

I think I'm being paraniod and kind of lame about it. Perhaps its because it's a newish(4 months) relationship and I'm not very good at sharing. I've talked to them both about it, since it does involve them both; and they understand my apprehension about my being in a relationship with him (and with her to a certain extent).

So I have to wonder, did anyone else feel discombobulated and confused about it all when first finding yourself in a poly situation?





(And I'm also wondering if any of what I wrote made any sense.... lol)

[gekkogecko]

It made a lot of sense.

Basically, you're new to this whole poly thing, and unsure about what it means for you, and how to deal with it and all that.

In dealing with a polyamorous relationship, communication with the people concerned is even more important than in a monoamorous relationship. Since you've been doing that, the best advice I have for you is to continue what you've been doing. That's the only way you're going to find out whether the whole issue of polyamory is for you, and if it is, whether or not *this* particular poly relationship is for you.

Way to go.

[Jude30]

Tristan Taormino has a new book on the subject.

Opening Up (http://www.puckerup.com/?cPath=2&products_id=95&tpid=8)

She's a very good author when it comes to sex advice. So you may want to check it out.

[citrus]

Also, read, have deeper conversations. Look here http://www.polyamory.org/ check out the FAQ.

[Cjack]

My Poly experience is all sexual when I shared my wife with other men. It was exciting and I always dreamed of her having another lover that would stop by anytime day or night to use her. Wen even talked about it but we couldn't find the right man. She was all for it back then.

[citrus]

I was in a love :3way: tri- quadr- angle in my twenties. The term 'Polyamory' wasn't coined then. Being poly is not an easy life of free loving. It's a decision to be transparent, utterly honest, open, trusting, trustworthy, and many hundreds of other character strengths and most certainly among the more important traits is RESPECT. Complete and unconditional. Goto the polyamory site and read about how to fuck up a relationship. It's correct in about every way.
HAVE FUN and be loving!!! :grope:

[Oldfart]

No, I'm not big on sharing, and neither is she.

[citrus]

Recently a new thread asks for our fantasies. Polyamory is not something that can work in fantasy. It's completely serious in its value as a total immersion of life and its capabilities. Many fantasies can be borne upon the poly lifestyle. However, the reality of hearts, love, truths and relation building trumps anything my sensuality based thoughts could conjure.

[rabbit]

I am very much polyamorous but haven't been physical about it (yet). One is a current Pixie, another is someone I grew up with but she lives in Miami.

[UrGuy]

I've had two. First with two sisters (Terri and Miki) who lived next door to me and the three of us "dated". The younger was more dom and enjoyed seeing her sister and I together. But we were young and drifted apart. But they did get my cherry.

The second was with a mother (Bobbie) and one of her daughters (Sherry). I dated Sherry first and then we split and I hung out at a bar later and the waitdress (hot) turned out to be her mother. When the three of us met I ended up in a relationship with both, but the daughter was the serious type where her mother was just the opposite, fun and naughty so Sherry got jealous. I decided that there had to be trust between us all and since they were related that I didn't want to cause trouble as it didn't seem to be working out and choosing one (I would prefer Bobbie) would still put a problem between them. I would of loved to have it work out.

The thing is (don't get them related) is trust. A willingness to know that you love each other, but you and they also love others.

[Irish]

No, I'm not big on sharing, and neither is she.
May 1st was our 44th anniversary!(Enough said?) Irish :thumbs:

[Wolf's Woof]

Much like Rabbit, I am in a poly relationship but I personally haven't been physical with it yet. Though a girl at work gave me her number today...

[gekkogecko]

Phone number, not personal e-mail?

[Wolf's Woof]

Bit of both actually, gave me the phone number and told me to text her.

[citrus]

I think what is being talked about is more fantasy player and juggling of sex interests, rather than polyamorous relationships in actual practice.

Some of our behaviors are serial in conduct, consecutive in process. All previous and subsequent lovers are often aware of those matings, but, that doesn't necessarily constitute a poly arrangement. It's rather a truth sharing and open, honest revealing of our actions to our lovers past and present.

Polyamory is real when EVERY person involved is aware of and consenting/approving of the participation of all of the others engaging in the situation. The involved are all actively engaging one another simultaneously and/or concurrently. There is full knowledge of the participation and activities of every other member in the poly engaging participants. Total disclosure is always being communicated. It's completely wide open eyes awareness of each others lovemaking and lives together.
There is not necessarily participation of every individual with every other individual. Nor are all present whenever lovemaking is in progress. The individuals involved are fully complicit in the associative workings in the loving, whether present or not.

All my love!
Russell
ummm . . I mean citrus :grope:

[gekkogecko]

Polyamory is real when EVERY person involved is aware of and consenting/approving of the participation of all of the others engaging in the situation. The involved are all actively engaging one another simultaneously and/or concurrently. There is full knowledge of the participation and activities of every other member in the poly engaging participants. Total disclosure is always being communicated. It's completely wide open eyes awareness of each others lovemaking and lives together.
There is not necessarily participation of every individual with every other individual. Nor are all present whenever lovemaking is in progress. The individuals involved are fully complicit in the associative workings in the loving, whether present or not.


Hey, what works for you is what works for you, and I'm not gonna gainsay it. No way, nohow, not then, not now. But don't define my poly relationships for me, pelase.

[SirGary]

Hey, what works for you is what works for you, and I'm not gonna gainsay it. No way, nohow, not then, not now. But don't define my poly relationships for me, pelase.
...sorry G but Citrus posted the correct definsion for polyamory...if you have something different, then maybe you have something else...just say'in...

I have been in a polyamory relationship for twelve years. There is full disclosure with my four SO's and they do get along for the most part...=/

There are Polyamory groups throughout the US that have support groups and information for those of us who found ourselves in this satisfying and different kind of relationship(s)...

[Rhiannon]

Never was good at sharing so i don't think this would fly.

[jseal]

Perhaps in another time, or under different circumstances.

[Oldfart]

It sounds ideal until you have to make a decision of one over another, whether it's who gets first go of the car or who goes on which holiday.

[gekkogecko]

...sorry G but Citrus posted the correct definsion for polyamory...if you have something different, then maybe you have something else...


Nope, you're wrong. There is no such thing as "THE CORRECT" definition. If my polyamory dosn't quite match the particular definition given above, that in no way negates the fact that I'm polyamorous, and that two of my three partners are, as well.

To insist that there is "ONE TRUE" way is to pass judgement on other people's relationsips, and lives, and I'll thank you to refrain from that.

[SirGary]

...might I suggest looking it up in something called a dictionary?...

...nevermind....whatever you say....lol

[Lilith]

Just askin'- do people still use dictionaries? Cause with the invention of the web I've stopped lugging around my big ass Webster's.
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&rls=com.microsoft:en-us:IE-SearchBox&defl=en&q=define:Polyamorous&sa=X&ei=HmG2TJeHHsKBlAeCnLjXBQ&ved=0CBEQkAE

and just cause I still dig Webster's

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/polyamory

[jseal]

... and Daniel Webster was eloquent in defense against an omnipotent state!

"This, sir, is my case. It is the case not merely of that humble institution, it is the case of every college in our land... Sir, you may destroy this little institution; it is weak; it is in your hands! I know it is one of the lesser lights in the literary horizon of our country. You may put it out. But if you do so you must carry through your work! You must extinguish, one after another, all those greater lights of science which for more than a century have thrown their radiance over our land. It is, sir, as I have said, a small college. And yet there are those who love it!"

Daniel Webster (Dartmouth College v. Woodward)