Something in the air tonight

[FussyPucker]

All day today I've been "suffering" with really bad wind. Every couple of minutes my bottom is unleashing clouds of unpleasantness....

What do you do on days like this?

Do you try to hold it in for fear of being caught in the act of polluting the world?

Just don't care and proudly cock a leg, rip out a nose burner and afterwards raise your arms in triumph?

Sneak one out in the hope it can be blaimed on someone else??

Well it's been a while since I last started a thread so I thought I'd make it a good one ;)

[Loulabelle]

Yes, ladies and gentleman, this is the man I love. The 'best' man I've ever met and the one I decided to spend the rest of my life with.


Oh dear.



Please feel suitably sorry for me.

[Lilith]

I do feel sorry for you. The smell must be awful by now :p

[Oldfart]

Don't strike a match for God's sake!!

[Cheyanne]

Hey... we are on a high fiber diet here! :roflmao:

[Pita]

Ever get the feeling that we Pixies might, just might, share a bit to much information? :huh:







:D Sorry Loulabelle

[PantyFanatic]

Buy a dog. ;)









:fart:

" :eew:......... what did you do, Fido?" :rolleyes2

[osuche]

...or blame it on Little Pucker. :D ;) :D

[WildIrish]

That's why I stopped eating Raisin Bran. :p

[Loulabelle]

...or blame it on Little Pucker. :D ;) :D

Little Pucker was in bed at the time....and even he isn't toxic enough to detect from his bedroom upstairs!!!!

[scotzoidman]

Yes, ladies and gentleman, this is the man I love. The 'best' man I've ever met and the one I decided to spend the rest of my life with.
And during the "test drive" period, he never once ripped off a paint-peeler, did he? :rofl:

[Loulabelle]

Of course he did Scotz - he just never posted a thread about it here!!!!!!!!! I think it's his pride in it that worries me!

[scotzoidman]

It's all about a man's ability to change his environment.

[IM1469]

So you are the one who is blowing a hole in the ozone and contributing to global warming

[jseal]

Beware of Al Gore!

[wyndhy]

Buy a dog. ;)









:fart:

" :eew:......... what did you do, Fido?" :rolleyes2

i'm reminded of a joke...

A young man was thrilled to finally be asked to meet the parents of the young woman he'd been seeing for some time. He was headed to their home for an evening of dinner and conversation. Of course, he was understandably nervous about the meeting and by the time he arrived at their doorstep his stomach was in a severe state of nerve-induced turmoil.

Unfortunately, his tummy problems took their natural route, and by the time the soup course was served, our poor young man was fighting off some very acute gastric distress. He felt too self-conscious to excuse himself from the table but by the time he realized that he could hold it in no longer, he also realized that if he even attempted to move so much as an inch, he was going to fart.

Rather fortunately, though, the family dog had chosen his chair to lie under and the young man though there was a slim chance he could allow just a teeny tiny bit of gas out and somehow blame the dog. Hoping he could, knowing he had no other choice, he leaned in to take a sip of his soup and farted. It wasn’t too loud, but there was no mistaking what it was. And it stank. He looked down and sort of chuckled at the dog, hoping against hope that the rest of the family would buy it when the young woman’s father hollered. "SPOT! Get over here!"

The young man was relieved. And in more ways then one, too. He leaned in for another spoonful of soup, and farted again. This time it was totally unexpected - his poor tummy was just soooo upset - and he thought there was no way they were going to keep thinking it’s the dog, but again the father yelled, “SPOT! I said get over here!”

Thinking the dog must do this sort of thing a lot, the young man believed he had it made. He could ease his discomfiture and concentrate instead on enjoying this long awaited meal with the family of his beloved. Again he leaned forward for another spoonful of soup and again he let out some more of the gas that was tearing up his tormented tummy. It was quite a bit louder and longer this time but he felt confident the dog would be blamed and indeed the father yelled at the dog once more to get out from under the chair.

Our young man felt worlds better. He even thought perhaps that was the end of it. He leaned forward for another spoonful of soup – this time not so he could fart but so he could finally begin enjoying his meal - when it was the young woman’s mother who yelled this time “Goddamnit, Spot, he’s gonna do it again! Now get out of there before he shits on you!”

[PantyFanatic]

:roflmao:




:thumb:

[wyndhy]

:D thought you might like that one

[lakritze]

Beware of any situation where you are told to sit down at the table,wear this blindfold and wait for your big surprise.