The dreaded day for all men has come

[PantyFanatic]

There are some things in life that all men have to face at some time or another. Sooner or later, no matter how we try to avoid or deny it, there comes a day we have to be honest and realize it just isn't working like it use to. We've done everything we can to keep it in the best condition possible. We are forced to use it every day and we dearly relish the times we can use it for our pleasure, but eventually it just gives out. :o We try not to notice the gradual changes and decline from the days of it's prime that we waited so long to become gleefully happy with. We know that from here on out it's just not going to be the same regardless of what modern innovation we try to regain that natural feel and comfort.

I'm sorry to tell you all that time has come for me. :tear:

[jay-t]

PF you have my condolences at the lost of a friend and the fond memories it brought you!





:roflmao:

[sodaklostsoul]

Awwww !!!!!!

Maybe Santa will bring you a new one for Christmas if your a good boy. *snicker*


Or you could put it in the shoe box under the bed. :D

[IAKaraokeGirl]

*snicker* PF, you are such a guy! :)

[scotzoidman]

My condolences to you.

Maybe Santa will bring you a new one for Christmas if your a good boy.

*snicker* PF, you are such a guy!

It's one of those "guy things" women just don't understand. Maybe the attachment happens because it spends so much time right next to your heart. :heartbeat :booty: :roflmao:

[rockintime]

Hey, PF...MINE is BIGGER than YOURS!!!!

nya nya nya nya nya nyaaaaaaaaaa

[PantyFanatic]

YES! :mad: I have to start looking for a new wallet. What a major pain in the ass (in EVERY way) that is. :hair: You fellows all know that every 10 years or so we have to bite the bullet and replace that ever present and now so comfortable companion. Of course we have been hearing comments from the female part of our families, "how long you had that wallet?:ranting:"..... "why don't you buy a new wallet?:ranting:" ............. "You dropped something out of the bottom of your wallet:ranting:". :rolleyes2 We accept those comments as something like a woman giving birth, something the other half of the specie just can't know about.

First the chore of finding the pig-in-a-poke. I have to go to a store and pick out something I have no idea how it is going to work. It's like having to buy a pair of underwear that I won't be able to change for the next ten years. I can only hope that it will be something that soon learns to fit my ass and provides me the support for my valuables. Sure there's a lot of cheap glitz and I will be able to see the pictures through the non grey-yellow photo holder.

The emotional task of having to transfer the treasured archives of things I don't recognize any longer and having to discard all the expired cards, passes and memberships to things that have closed, is very hard. :(

THEN comes the grueling task of break it in. I KNOW that for the next six months I am going have the sensations of walking around with a six pound stone in my hip pocket. I'll have the sensation of a ten pounder every time I sit down. :yikes: If all goes well, it will be broke in by the end of the first year. But the end of the second year I won't know it's there again. :nana: Right after I've replaced the photo holders the second or third time, I'll start hearing the nagging for another two to three years and be back to starting all over again.

The women have no idea of the traumatic things we guys have to live through. :tear:

[scotzoidman]

Doesn't that make it uncomfortable when you sit on it?


Think about it... there's no way someone who couldn't see the pics would not read something dirty into every post on this thread

[sodaklostsoul]

:kissass:

[Booger]

YES! :mad: I have to start looking for a new wallet. What a major pain in the ass (in EVERY way) that is. :hair: You fellows all know that every 10 years or so we have to bite the bullet and replace that ever present and now so comfortable companion. Of course we have been hearing comments from the female part of our families, "how long you had that wallet?:ranting:"..... "why don't you buy a new wallet?:ranting:" ............. "You dropped something out of the bottom of your wallet:ranting:". :rolleyes2 We accept those comments as something like a woman giving birth, something the other half of the specie just can't know about.

I have no clue what you are talking about I get a new wallet ever 3 or 4 years myself. It has never been a big deal the old one starts to wear out I get a new one.

First the chore of finding the pig-in-a-poke. I have to go to a store and pick out something I have no idea how it is going to work. It's like having to buy a pair of underwear that I won't be able to change for the next ten years. I can only hope that it will be something that soon learns to fit my ass and provides me the support for my valuables. Sure there's a lot of cheap glitz and I will be able to see the pictures through the non grey-yellow photo holder.

How hard is it there are 3 basic type of wallet.
There is the trifold they fold into thirds. The only major difference is how many slot they have for cards and other stuff.
There is the bifold they fold in half. There are two basic type of these ones that just fold in half and ones that fold in half then have a flap that folds over top of it. once again the only major difference is the number of slots they have for cards and stuff (the ones with the flap normally have a few extra).
There is the straight wallet that doesnt fold you money at all. These are basically use by business men who where suit jacket and kept in the inside pocket and only carry money (some people also keep them in a front pocket on a chain).

The emotional task of having to transfer the treasured archives of things I don't recognize any longer and having to discard all the expired cards, passes and memberships to things that have closed, is very hard. :(

After seeing your wallet (in person and the picture of it) this is most likely a good thing. I've seen women's purses with less crap stuffed in them. I can help you with this. First off any money that is in it stick in and in an envelope put my address on it and mail it to me (you have my address and make sure you have to correct postage on it please). Pull out all the cards and look at the dates on them if they are expired or the place no longer exist throw them out. Look at all the pices of paper you have stuffed in there any thing you don't need throw out (thing like some girls number that is so faded you can barely read it any more or one that start out with something like Klondike5). All you need in your wallet is your license credit cards, membership cards that you use, and money. Maybe you can also put in your SOS card and a few number and addresses you may need.

THEN comes the grueling task of break it in. I KNOW that for the next six months I am going have the sensations of walking around with a six pound stone in my hip pocket. I'll have the sensation of a ten pounder every time I sit down. :yikes: If all goes well, it will be broke in by the end of the first year. But the end of the second year I won't know it's there again. :nana: Right after I've replaced the photo holders the second or third time, I'll start hearing the nagging for another two to three years and be back to starting all over again.

The women have no idea of the traumatic things we guys have to live through. :tear:

The reason it feels that way is because of all the crap you have in it (I have to wonder if this isn't some kind of anti theft thing. Some one trys to mug you and to throw you wallet at their head and knock them out with it). If you stick to the plan I gave you above for cleaning your wallet out (don't forget the first step of sending the money to me) it should be less then a inch thick (not over 3 inches) and you'll have no problem with it.


PS. If your not going to listen to anything I siad maybe I should sujest you make a duct tape wallet. That way when ever it starts to rip you just use a little duct tape to fix it and no one will ever be able to tell.

[citrus]

http://www.pixies-place.com:81/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=64008
It's a "Rite of Passage" Some thing near like what Worf endured when he needed family to jab him with hot pokers while he recited Klingon poetry.
A beautiful, well worn and weathered friend is Honored.:bdayhat: :wine:

[Lilith]

What the fuck is wrong with you man? Are you out of duct tape?

Mr. Lil feels that wallet is in it's prime! Tape up the edges and it's good as new!

I would suggest with all the shit you seem to think you need to carry in it that you just settle yourself to getting a man purse :p

[Mark Vieth]

Just get a velcro one like I do. Waterproof, comfortable and if you are scuba diving you might find a turtle that can break a fifty.

[IowaMan]

I feel your pain PF! :nod:

I think you may be able to get a couple more good years out of it yet though unless yours is having the same malfunction as mine and is no longer able to keep money in it for more than a couple of minutes. :yikes:

[Teddy Bear]

Call 911.... No wait .... CALL RED-GREEN!!!

Hurry please!!

[Scarecrow]

Oh for shame, you will lose you lodge membership for not fixing it with Duct Tape and it now comes in many different colors.

[PantyFanatic]

Actually it is the innards that are giving up the ghost. :tear:

[PantyFanatic]

BUT!! :nana:





There is salvation. :D

I had faith that I was bringing this burden of life to the right people. :thumb:

I was able to find the answer to this dilemma (http://www.rpi-polymath.com/ducttape/duct_tape_wallet.html),:cheerlead and not only that, but also to the threats of the future (http://www.rpi-polymath.com/ducttape/RFIDWallet.php).

:line:

[Oldfart]

That wallet looks to have at least another 400-500 transactions left in it.

[jseal]

Where there is a will, there is a way!

[IowaMan]

Boy, after seeing the pics of the innards I'm sort of thinking the wallet just may need a will. Is there enough duct tape to bring it back to life? :wish:

[LixyChick]

PF...Does your back/sciatic nerve bother you?

It'd be no wonder after seeing that thing!

Oh...and just consider yourself lucky that you've never had to go bra shopping, have a mammogram or a cervical exam, choose a pad or a tampon or shop for an OTC for a yeast infection!!! I could go on and on but I think I've made my point. Man's woes are always magnified. Just admit it. It's not that you are losing "an old, loyal friend". It's that you have to shop...period!

LOL!

[WildIrish]

Just admit it. It's not that you are losing "an old, loyal friend". It's that you have to shop...period!



Wow! She's good! :p

But how are you supposed to shop when your wallet is dead. Long live your wallet, may it rest in pieces. It's like trying to fix your glasses! You need to be able to see to fix them...and you need your glasses to see! It's a conundrum!

[scotzoidman]

I once lived in a 2-bedroom conundrum...

[Coaster]

PF...

Oh...and just consider yourself lucky that you've never had to choose a pad or a tampon I could go on and on but I think I've made my point. Man's woes are always magnified.

LOL!


Oh gees Lixy................. that would take me all.............. of 2 minutes to figure out!! :D Next problem!!!! hahahahahaha

So now YOU've got to shop for a purse.......
1) will this one fit all that stuff from my old purse?
2) is it too big?
3) where does the cell phone go?
4) what if I wanna wear it as a fanny pack?
5) does it go with my outfit?
6) match my shoes?
6,000, 987,420) Does it bring out the color of my eyes?


:hair:

Why is it that the same women that contemplate breasts reduction don't seem to mind toting around a 20lbs shoulder bag?

:yikes: :ranting: :doorpeek:

[sodaklostsoul]

because a 20lb shoulder bag can be used as a weapon.

[LixyChick]

WI...Ever try throwing away a trash can? The trash men won't take it!

Coaster...I would normally agree with you and nuff said. But just recently a miracle (of sorts) happened to me. And if it didn't happen to me I wouldn't have believed it for all the reasons you stated. Mr. Lixy and I were at the mall and passing through a store in the "sea of designer's purses" section. He said, "You can look if you want", to which I nearly fainted and wanted to ask, "Who are you and what did you do with my real husband?" But I just mumbled something to the order of it being futile to shop for a purse with him because I have never been able to pick out a bag in less than a 1/2 hour...and at times it has taken longer. I looked halfhearted and attempted to get past the shelves and hangers and tables when lo and behold...atop a table of clearance purses, in a mile high pile, lay the perfect purse in the world! It was a paisley print Tommy Hillfiger hand bag with a hippie inspired tassle. I'm a single short strap, shoulder bag kinda chick but this bag seemed to know me. I lead hubby up to the table and reached for the purse, opened it and knew I'd have to pare down my carry all goods but that I had found my fall fashion statement. I looked at the price and if I had to pay original price I would have never bought it. But, miracle upon miracle, it WAS on clearance at half price and then for that day only an additional 20% was to be taken off at the register! I felt woozie!!!! I told Mr. Lixy that he had just witnessed something no other man had seen before and that he should be in awe. When all was said and done I paid less for this purse than any I have ever purchased and...AND...I did it in less than 5 minutes! So there! *raspberries x's 2*


Now back to your regularly scheduled guy crying about his pitiful woes thread............... :jester:

[Coaster]

Soda.... I'd hear ya there woman if I hadn't already been clocked up side the head with one!!! :D

HAHAHA... Lixy, thanks for putting a smile on my face... and Mr Lixy's I'm sure!

AND in less than 5 MINUTES!!!! :faint:

Sorry for the hijack............

[WildIrish]

because a 20lb shoulder bag can be used as a weapon.


A pair of boobs would bring me to my knees in submission much faster.

[jay-t]

PF with all that duct tape you won't have to worry about the condom falling out on the sales counter now! :rolleyes2