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Aqua
09-04-2007, 02:07 PM
(SF)

Women seeking suitors on the Web take sexual risks once they meet, UT researcher says

By ALEXIS GRANT

Women surveyed by a University of Texas researcher said they used various techniques to screen online suitors before meeting them in person.

Women who date online are likely to take precautions to protect their personal safety when first meeting a man face-to-face, but often are much less careful about protecting their sexual health once that encounter moves to the next level, a Houston-based study has found.

While the women who were surveyed went to great lengths to screen online acquaintances before meeting them, nearly a third reported having sex on the first date and three-quarters of those said they did not use condoms, according to the study by The University of Texas School of Public Health.

Those behaviors reflect a "virtual intimacy" the women developed with men online before meeting them in person, said the study's author, Paige Padgett.

"They may not think of it as being risky sex," said Padgett, a research associate who specializes in epidemiology and sex research. "They don't see it as a one-night stand, even though it might turn out that way, because they really feel they have a relationship with this man."

Padgett surveyed 740 women who posted personal ads on seven dating Web sites. Some were looking for love, others for sex, she said.

During the five-month survey, which began in July 2002, 568 of the women met face-to-face with at least one man with whom their first contact was online. After taking precautions to ensure their safety during the first in-person encounter, 30 percent of the women reported having sex during that date, and 77 percent of those did not use condoms, Padgett reported.

Emotions enter picture
Dan Ariely, a professor of behavioral economics at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, said the apparent contradiction doesn't surprise him. People behave differently in the heat of the moment from when they plan ahead, he said.

"When somebody's sitting by their laptop at home and writing these sterile e-mails to each other, there's no sense of emotionality," he said. "But when they meet and they get aroused, life changes."

Among the general population, condom use with a new partner is more common, said Lawrence Finer, director of domestic research for the Guttmacher Institute, a nonprofit that focuses on sex research.

More than half of women under 30 use a condom when they first have sex with a new partner, Finer concluded after analyzing data from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

According to a survey by ABC News in 2004, 17 percent of women report having had sex on a first date, compared with 42 percent of men. Experts say women tend to underestimate those figures and men tend to overestimate.

Online dating, Padgett said, enables women to ignore men who don't make them feel safe or fit their standards. Couples who meet online also can negotiate terms, such as condom use, or exchange sexual history that may be uncomfortable to discuss in person, Padgett said.

"You can disclose all this personal information without having the fear of rejection with the person right in front of you."

For that reason, she said, intimacy may be accelerated in relationships that begin online. By the time two people meet face-to-face, they may feel as though they've been seeing each other for a while.

The Internet is popular for love-seekers, with more than 20 million — out of the country's estimated 90 million singles — visiting at least one online dating service a month, says Online Dating Magazine, an Internet Web site dedicated to the industry. The Web site estimates that online dating results in about 120,000 marriages each year.

Mark Brooks, the editor of onlinepersonalswatch.com, which covers news about the business of online dating Web sites, said people hoping for romantic relationships sometimes project what they're looking for onto virtual mates they may not know much about. He called it the "halo syndrome."

"It can be pretty high emotion and high passion on that first meeting," he said.

Of the women who answered the survey, half were divorced and more than three-quarters had at least some college education. Nearly a third were in their 40s, about a quarter were in their 30s and another quarter were in their 20s.

They used various techniques to screen suitors before the first date. Some hired agencies to run background checks, while others conducted their own research online.

Some watched for inconsistencies in men's stories, asked for a photo or talked on the phone to judge character. Others relied on gut feelings.

The women also took precautions on the first date, such as meeting in a public place.

Those practices are typical in online dating, said Rosie Romero, a 38-year-old Houstonian who has used local Web sites to find relationships for about 10 years. She said she has met about five men face-to-face in the past six years.

While she has a rule of no sex on the first date, she said she has friends who date online and don't follow that policy.

WildIrish
09-04-2007, 02:18 PM
I can understand the idea behind it. For many that meet in person after a long time online relationship has taken place, a face to face meeting is but an extension of their life together.

But obviously it's important to know who you're going to meet.

Oldfart
09-04-2007, 07:51 PM
You can't know someone from over the net the way you do by spending time with them. Nuances, body language, pheromones and a non-photoshopped picture make a huge difference.

I found all the Pixies at PAGAN06 to be very much like their online personas, but we've spent years getting to know each other. A couple of cyber-dates aren't the same.