Shelf-Life

[Salacious]

In this question shelf-life refers to the length of time a relationship will last without deteriorating.

Do you think/feel that all relationships have an equal shelf-life? And if so should it be everlasting? Or do different relationships have differing shelf-lives?

[Loulabelle]

I think that fuck-buddy relationships generally have a short shelf life compared with romantic relationships. Probably because during that time they either deteriorate to the point where you're no longer even friends, they turn into romantic relationships or one or other partner meets someone for a romantic relationship. I think that's the way it should be.

I also believe that a lot of those very intense relationships (the type often associated with Hollywood stars) are not designed to last a long time. They burn themselves out too quickly and often cause a heck of a lot of destruction along the way. My Mother had a relationship like that and they managed to drag it out over 20 years, but after the first 2 years it was clear to me (aged about 10) that it was never going to work!

As for my relationship? I really hope that's got a never ending shelf life, but I don't take that for granted. I'm all too aware that any moment he could find himself infatuated with someone younger, prettier, slimmer and with fewer responsibilities than me. Hopefully, he worries about that too though. :)

[WildIrish]

I think that the relationships with a shelf life are those that are mismatched. My grandparents were married 62 years and in love with each other until they both passed away.

If you've ever seen "Moonstruck", you'll understand this. Guys...you have to find the woman that has your rib.

[PantyFanatic]

Interesting thought Salacious. :rolleyes:





And you have caused me to rethink if looking for that 'shelf-life' isn't our problem in the first place. We know there are no static systems for any other part of nature. Is it wanting to make a new discovery, the excitement, and the pleasure into an ever lasting state that leads to the 'deterioration' and disappointment?

It is a certainty that we will each continue to grow and evolve into different people, physically, mentally, and emotionally. On a total life scale we will often, temporally, change the mix with additional cherished people in the form of offspring. We are not surprised to find every part of our world around us to be changing in ways we had never conceived.

Should our objective be to share the experiences we expect and actually want to happen,...... together? Is it the diametric forces of wanting to freeze the prospective and thrill of a fresh relationship and the need to evolve and change that pulls us apart from one another rather then purposely morphing into a single unit that becomes part of the change?



I'm going away now.:sad: My head and heart hurts from all this. :faint:

[WildIrish]

Perhaps what extends the shelf-life is that as we grow and evolve into different people...instead of growing apart, we want to discover who we've become. :confused:

[IowaMan]

All I know is that a solid oak shelf will last much longer than one made from balsa wood. Finding the proper materials to build such a shelf seems to be my problem.

[osuche]

I don't think it's so much an issue of a "natural shelf life" as that both people need to continue to invest in the relationship to keep it from spoiling. Without consistent effort to fight the forces of entropy - changes, adversity, differing needs - all relationships are bound to go sour.

[fireman20]

I don't think it's so much an issue of a "natural shelf life" as that both people need to continue to invest in the relationship to keep it from spoiling. Without consistent effort to fight the forces of entropy - changes, adversity, differing needs - all relationships are bound to go sour.


My thoughts exactly, even that "entropy" word I've never heard before.
Danny

[scotzoidman]

It's been said that the human body replaces itself, cell by cell, once every seven years...similarly, (not sure if I spelled that right, damn sure I can't say it right) we tend to re-invent ourselves emotionally over time...I'm definately not the same man I was at the turn of the century... certainly, people can grow apart over time, but I can prove that people can grow together as well...

A relationship is going to have a short shelf life if it's left on a shelf all the time...you have to take it down, shake it up, add fresh ingredients every so often...

[Lilith]

My thoughts exactly, even that "entropy" word I've never heard before.
Danny

*spews water out of my nose*

[Coastie]

I don't think I'd use the word shelf-life in relation to a relationship because to me that words conveys the meaning that it's going bad. I think relationships evolve over time, just because it's different doesn't mean that it's not as good. I guess the trouble can be when you evolve differently and grow apart, but that's not always the case.

[Pita]

I think that the relationships with a shelf life are those that are mismatched. My grandparents were married 62 years and in love with each other until they both passed away.

If you've ever seen "Moonstruck", you'll understand this. Guys...you have to find the woman that has your rib.

That is so sweet about your grandparents :) I also love "Moonstruck"

I think the shelf-life depends on so many factors from compatibility to maturity of self, and if the relationship grew apart or grew stronger.

[Oldfart]

Relationships do have a shelf-life, if you listen to the scientists. 18 months of infatuation, then the infatuation goes away. If at that time you have just surfed the wave of hormone intoxication, you'll probably fall off the shelf. If you've used the time to grow an integrated relationship, the only limitation is your lifespan.

Mostly.

[Natures Gift]

When I got married, I never imagined I would get divorced.

And yet, here we are 23 years later... I have changed, evolved, and he doesn't like it. He wants me to go back the way I was, but I can't.

I guess you either drift together or drift apart.

Of course, you also get those marriages which aren't happy, but neither is prepared to move out so it just drifts along. Rather like my parents marriage, they went through a sticky patch when we were teens, but as we left home they had to talk to each other and got on better.

The saddest thing to me, is that when Dad got cancer, it brought them closer together, which just made his loss even harder for my mum to bear.

[Salacious]

Do you think/feel that all relationships have an equal shelf-life? And if so should it be everlasting?

I don't believe all relationships have an equal shelf-life. I also believe that in our lives we have a vast array of different relationships. I have a relationships with everyone in my immediate life, my family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, and many more I am sure I am missing. I suppose for me the "ideal" relationship with regard to mate or spouse "should" be everlasting, but as all too many of us are aware that as time advances and people and circumstances change. Sometimes we grow closer together and sometimes we grow apart. The direction in which we grow or gravitate has an effect on how "everlasting" that relationship will be.

Or do different relationships have differing shelf-lives?

We change jobs and neighbors move or we move and although we may have the best intentions of remaining "close" life chugs on and things change, circumstances change, priorities change and we may drift, thus shortening the shelf-life of certain relationships. I don't feel it's necessarily a bad thing. As people come into our lives I feel they impact us whether we are aware of it or not. It's those "impacts" that change and shape who we are, how we react and the choices we make in our day to day lives.