why?

[Wicked Wanda]

Why what?
Why, as a woman whose most intense, emotionally satisfying relationships are with other Women, do I still pursue sex with men?

Please, don't laugh at me, I mean this as a serious question! Our refusal to abandon sex with males creates pressure and even invites abuse from those in our circles who feel we "aren't ready to commit" to the "religion" of Lesbianism.

Please understand, I am speaking to specifically those Bi Women whose preferred emotional and physical intimacies are other Women, not those of you who "also have sex with other Women" or the growing group of "opportunistic lesbian/bisexual" Women, those who have sex with whomever they are in love with, no matter gender.

My new relationship with Mickey includes the occasional male. We both enjoy sex with men very much, and 3sums seen to satisfy that desire.
(yes, I still fuck men on my own, when not in a 3um)

So, one night during a little pillow talk, we asked one another that question.
Why?

(yes, I am aware that many of the issues I have raised here start as pillow talk. Lots of interesting ideas come up in these conversations)

She and I are very much alike, and yet still very different, a delicious combination. But one thing we share is the intensely erotic, passionate enjoyment of sex with men, making us both happy members of that interesting societal group, the female *bisexual*.

I have a lot of suspicions about the current "fad" of female bisexuality. For Mickey, myself, my darling Leigh, and many othersm it is a way of life, not a fad.

So, why? Why still have sex with men?
Is it that uniquely female sensation of vaginal penetration?
(Adressing the males here who enjoy receiving anal penetration; having done anal many times, I can say it is totally different sensation. Wonderful, yes, but very different)

I can become very aroused just by closing my eyes, imagining that familiar feel of a man entering me, that feeling of pressure that transforms to the sensation of being pierced, of a sexual stabbing... my vaginal walls giving way, moving apart, the feeling of being stretched...
*ahem*!!
Pardon me, I had to stop for a minute. In all seriousness, I became aroused just now, simply by writing this.

But the sensations imparted by a strap -on are almost the same. And for me, emotionally deeper and more involving. But I prefer the real thing, a warm penis, firm, but soft, a so sexually sublime contradiction that makes me shiver just thinking about holding one in my hand. As part of my D/s life, I have become a devotee of the pratice of "cock worship"

Damn!! I really need to concentrate here.

Is it muscles? I love the feeling of male firmness and tone of muscle. But Mickey is as well developed and toned (she is Physical Therapist and an amateur body builder for years) as many men, and while her strength and physique is a tremendous physical thrill for me...

CONCENTRATION WANDA!

Is it body hair? No. Aside from a past fantasy about having sex with a werewolf, body hair doesn't do much for me.

One thing Mickey and I agreed on was that the rhythm of fucking, the sensation of your entire body rocking back and forth as you are being fucked, feeling your boobs make their little (in my case) swinging, circular patterns as you slide back and forth... that is a HUGE plus for both of us.
It is different than the rhythm of fucking with a strap on. It's not a subtle difference either. I can best describe it as a sort of "lag" or hesitation. When she pulls her hips back there is a definite, small, but definite, pause before the toy moves. I wonder when some genius will figure out how to improve a strap on so that difference is gone?

But I hesitate reduce this intense, sometimes overwhelming erotic passion for men to "rocking".
Is this the reason so many of us are still bisexual?
Or.
Is it the combination of all of this? The combination of the warmth and unique soft/hardness of a real cock, the muscles, the rocking sensation, the fact that my earliest erotic fantasies were all about males?

*Wickd Wanda opens the floor to comments, thoughts, ideas, and sexual innuendo*


WW

[osuche]

Maybe it's variety? Men taste different, smell different, fuck differently. Maybe variety really is the spice of life? Just a thought...you may not need men to "complete" you -- but perhaps the variety excites you.

I eagerly await other responses.

[Rhiannon]

Hi Wanda
Maybe it the feel of a man and maybe as osuche said it the variety of it all.

[Neige]

Does fucking men have to be for completely physical reasons? While I've never been with a woman, I'll try to explain my logic.

A generalization : women think the same way. (Yes, I know, exceptions exist, but let's just imagine that's the way it is for the sake of this question.) When you have sex with a woman, you must believe that similar thoughts to yours must be running through her head. Yet men think differently than women (or so we can imagine for the sake of this question). Could it be that which is pushing you to fuck men? Is it a way of understanding how men think?

Another possibility : could it be a way of proving yourself as attractive to men? I think it's quite evident that men are attracted to you anyway, but I wanted to throw that out there to see what people thought.

[themi01]

OR could it be as simple as why not ?

[Casperr]

Aside from a past fantasy about having sex with a werewolf, body hair doesn't do much for me.
Best. Sentence. Ever. :)

And I tend to think similarly to temi01 - perhaps that's just the way you're 'wired'? Isn't there a danger of over-analysing something?
I'm sort of in the other role that you could describe as 'also have sex with other men', in that my preferred emotional relationships are with women. Not because that's "normal" or anything, simply because they are what attract me on an intellectual, emotional level AND physical level. Whereas cocks just turn me on.
I tend to just shrug and say "that's the way I am" rather than questioning why I sleep with who I do, why I have emotional relationships with who I do.... if it's not hurting anyone, it can't be a bad thing, right?

[Lilith]

.... if it's not hurting anyone, it can't be a bad thing, right?

Well it can't be good :D:spank:

[Wicked Wanda]

Osuche, variety is certainly part of my sex life, but I assure you, there are infinite differences in the way that Women feel, smell, taste, and fuck as well.

Hello again, Rhiannon, and yes, it is in part the way men feel, but is that all?

Neige, I do have intense emotional relationships with men. And the way men's minds work never cease to amaze me. But why do I crave the PHYSICAL sensations? As far as reinforcing my feeling of attractiveness, I guess I will become worried when they quit hitting on me.

themi01; Of course why not? But that's not the same as random fucking, it still doesn't account for the cravings.

CasperTG; I know I am overanalyzing my sex life (again!). I started off with the observation that this started off as pillow talk, and I know that questions raised during such private times are often not answerable, but I wanted the insight that Pixies' offers.

In any case, I am not going to quit fucking men anytime soon.

I am waiting for more comments.

And Lil is picking on the short girl again. (smile)

WW

[themi01]

I didn't mean random fucking I meant don't over analyze if your attracted to anybody I mean personality character wit sexiness Ect if that occurs in a man....Hard put into words beyond that... let me take that back when you meet someone before long you either feel chemistry or not This isn't any more clear or is it sorry fighting a headache

[Lilith]

Do you find yourself craving dick or is there something about men that you crave? Have you picked up on any pattern in the men you do choose?

For me nothing, nothing feels like cock. Other things feel good but cock feels perfect. I wonder if bi women have feeling like I do where on some days while it would be frosting to have orgasms, all I really want is to be fucked. I'm not sure (and this is purely speculation) on those days that anything or anyone could satisfy that need but a man with a real throbbing stiff dick.

[Mercury_Maniac]

Wanda i think you are just a human thats it, you like what like, and sometimes need to change pace now and then.


i mean sometimes its ok to take a different route to specific destination right?

[Oldfart]

I suspect that this has more levels than a mile-high carpark.

1.You can love red wine and have a passion for scotch and dry.

2. When you were young and saw the stereotyped romance movies, they left little footprints in your psyche which nudge you in this direction.

3. It feels good if done well.

4. It acts as a buffer to the marginalisation some feel when they step out of the mainstream.

5. The 8:27 Elephant to Times Square was 15 min late.

Everyone will have a pet theory, even the elephant, but as it is obviously a part of how you tick and it's not hurting you, enjoy it con mucho gusto.

[Casperr]

Damn those elephants.

[Loulabelle]

I hate to say it, but is there perhaps something in the primeval, hormonal, genetic memory part of you that craves a person of the opposite gender for the purposes of reproduction?

Human beings are a strange mixture of our developed emotional and mental 'civilised' ways (which tell you that you gain more from a loving relationship with a woman than with a man) and our intense, physical, chemical and biological urges which happen without us even realising it. Why, when we are offered a salad that we KNOW is better for us, provides us with more nutrition, the right number of calories, lots of anti-oxidants and will be low stress on our digestive systems, do so many of us opt for the burger, which provides little of the above? An ancient and redundant need to consume as many calories as we can in case there's a long wait for the next meal. My point is that our brains and emotions, often do not override the biological urges which ensure the survival of the species.

Obviously, that's not to negate exclusive homosexuality in any way, which I believe to be a natural part of human and animal sexuality, but I suspect that as a woman as in touch with her sexual needs as you are WW, you've not 'closed down' that avenue which a lot of bisexual people probably do, favouring relationships with whichever sex because 'well it's just easier' because 'women understand me better' or 'men are just more straightforward' or whatever.

[LixyChick]

'If you can't be...with the one you love, honey...love the one you're with"...

^^^ Could it be that easy?

[Wicked Wanda]

Do you find yourself craving dick or is there something about men that you crave? Have you picked up on any pattern in the men you do choose?

Oh yes, I have a definite "type" in men. Just as I have a "type" in women.

For me nothing, nothing feels like cock. Other things feel good but cock feels perfect. I wonder if bi women have feeling like I do where on some days while it would be frosting to have orgasms, all I really want is to be fucked. I'm not sure (and this is purely speculation) on those days that anything or anyone could satisfy that need but a man with a real throbbing stiff dick.

And that is my question! Why? Is there such a strong urge within me to lay back with my thighs spread wide (OK for me it's more likely on all fours, my rear wiggling around up in the air, but let's not quibble details) waiting for that fuck? What I want to know is why does getting fucked with a real cock feel so different, why is it so much more just the right "scratch" for my itch. Is my enjoyment of feeling my body rock back and forth while being fucked a genetic memory? Or is the other genetic memory even stronger, my brain wanting all the subliminal clues confirming that this is a male who is fucking me and might possibly impregnate me...?

And how does this address my entire issue of my "worship" of cocks, my passion to play with them, make them hard, suck them, feel the cum on my skin, down my throat...

Wanda has to stop here for a minute.

Please understand, I am so very aware, especially after the years of therapy I have undergone, that we may not ever arrive at a satisfactory answer, but I am having fun exploring this with my friends here at Pixies.

I hope that more opinions get posted, especially from the other bi Women here.

Now, I have to run and catch the 7:10 elephant.

Elephants. Hmm long supple, warm, trunks, so sensitive, with such amazing dexterity...

OMG! Now I am getting turned on again...

Ewwwww!

:boobs:

WW

[Coaster]

While reading your posts WW, I tended to start thinking as Lou did. This is part of the human makeup. We have the primal need to reproduce..... and it's so damn enjoyable! Women obviously "connect" more with you.. stimulating your mind as well as your body. Women tend to be better communicators and I can only assume that transfers to your sexual needs as well.

Your lovers sound like very giving partners. I've seen other lesbian couples that despise men all together, as we are very worthless critters. I think your bisexual relationships are very healthy for you, physically and metally. A man or a woman can't provide all YOUR needs but in tandem they make you soar! (And sore! :) )

I'm glad that a man's cock, the taste, texture and heat of it, still attracts and excites you. You have been in many a Pixie man's fantasies and the thought of "losing" you to just the ladies would make us all feel empty! Take advantage of all you have and continue to enjoy both sexes as long as it stimulates you.

Now only if I was a younger, single man in TX.............................

[scotzoidman]

It occurred to me to post a rambling statement about my theories on human sexuality & how they relate to you in your situation. I then thought, "maybe I should hold off until I can condense them into a form that that won't waste a lot of my time & that of others"...

What the hell...Wanda, you are living the life many of us here wish we could live, at least in our spare time...life is a buffet, & you have the freedom to run the table, without the restricted diet that so many of us must adhere to for whatever reasons...you are a special individual, loving & loved by so many, & in the words of the beer commercial from some years ago,

Why ask why?

[Aqua]

Damn, there are a few comments in this thread that are very distracting. In a good way. :D

I've had a few different things in my ass to get myself off, most notably my green dildo and the larger dildo that goes with the strapon. As good as those feel, I would really like to experience the real thing. (I did once long ago, but since that was not by choice I zoned out and wasn't really there to experience it.) I know my own cock feels a lot different in my hand compared to any dildo I've ever handled so I can only imagine the difference it would make while inside.

I know that doesn't really address the bi-woman aspect of your question, but I think it does factor into the difference between fake vs real and I could see that playing a part of your desire to still be with men.

Btw... I think if I just get a little furrier I could help you with that werewolf fantasy...

:p

Btw2... Good topic for discussion. I doubt there is any definitive answer, but it's great to hear all the different points of view from Pixies' members.

[Oldfart]

Could the fact that the dick wants to be there, while a substitute is just there, play a part?

[Lilith]

amen ^^^^ brother from another mother :D

[Oldfart]

I'm trying to put together an incest joke on that one.

The kids here say that as "Brudda from anudda muvva".

[Casperr]

So, essentially, you crave the cock, not necessarily the man?

Then could not the answer simply be: Penis is just fuckin' awesome?


Well, I think it is, anyway.

[Loulabelle]

Could the fact that the dick wants to be there, while a substitute is just there, play a part?

I think this is an EXCELLENT point.

Speaking as probably one of the few (if not the only) people at Pixies to have had penetrative sex with a man with who had absolutely no feeling in his penis, I can tell you that intercourse loses a lot of its charm if the penis involved couldn't give a stuff what it was doing.

Funny that I didn't think of this until I'd read OF's comment.

[scotzoidman]

I'm thinking there's gotta be an interesting backstory to that ^^^, but not sure if I really wanna know...

[Loulabelle]

Well it's not a dramatic story - he was born with a condition that required lots of surgery which resulted in scar tissue which required another operation in his teens to remove it which resulted in nerves being damaged which resulted in loss of feeling in all but the very very base of the penis.

[rabbit]

Is my enjoyment of feeling my body rock back and forth while being fucked a genetic memory? Or is the other genetic memory even stronger, my brain wanting all the subliminal clues confirming that this is a male who is fucking me and might possibly impregnate me...?



This, I think, is the true reason...the primal craving of a man pumping his thick, throbbing cock into your wet pussy. The "act", if you will...


:nod:

[Wicked Wanda]

Ok, I am convinced. Tonight I need to be rocked.

Maybe a 3sum again, but this time with two real cocks...

WW

[Oldfart]

Have a great night WW.

[Lilith]

Ok, I am convinced. Tonight I need to be rocked.

Maybe a 3sum again, but this time with two real cocks...

WW


I want to be you when I grow up!

[Wicked Wanda]

I want to be you when I grow up!
*BLUSHES*
:tongue:

...over every square inch of her body...

:boobs:

WW

[Lilith]

*blows gently all over every square inch of her body*


cooler? ;) :hot:

[Wicked Wanda]

...cooler...?!!

NO!

:faint:

HOTTER!!!


:rose:

WW

[Lilith]

my bad ;)

[rabbit]

(wipes brow)

OMG, WW and Lil are making me quite warm.

:p

[Wicked Wanda]

I am sitting here sipping wine, all ready to go out, but 2 hours early, and Lil has me reconsidering the whole "real cock 3sum" plan...
*fuck*
Mickey isn't back until tomorrow... I COULD go to the "Other" bar alone anyway...

But I have my heart set on a MFM tonight, and have ready freddies meeting me.

KISSES LIL ALL OVER

and runs away...

WW

[scotzoidman]

Ok, I am convinced. Tonight I need to be rocked.

Maybe a 3sum again, but this time with two real cocks...

WW
Anytime we can help you out again, just let us know :sperm:

[BamaKyttn]

WW baby when you get a good answer PLEASE mail me I really would like to know as my SSP and I were having this same discussion well we've been having it for a month now and neither of us can satisfy that PARTICULAR question......


Kisses to all your pink parts


Always,
Kyttn

[WildIrish]

4. It acts as a buffer to the marginalisation some feel when they step out of the mainstream.


There really is a lot of wisdom in that statement. I don't know if it's subliminally the case or not, but damn does OF know how to turn a phrase!


Mrs. WI has in the past expressed great desire to have sex with a woman because women are beautiful creatures that quite simply must know how to please you. That having been said, she has also admitted that while it would be wonderful to experience...she could never give up sex with men completely. She could give up living with one...but not having sex with them. lol She loves the feeling of being filled and as realistic as they make toys nowadays, they're not real. They don't twitch when you touch your thumb to the sensitive spot right under the head. They don't gasp when you pinch the head. They don't moan when you cup the balls. They don't subconciously attempt to wiggle forward a little when your finger strays past the testicles and gently probes for your...um...area. And they don't groan when you find it.

Just as I could envision myself in a same sex encounter, or series of encounters, I could never see myself not wanting to be intimate with a woman.

[citrus]

Hi WW
Yours is one of the most complete descriptions of the total sensual woman to emerge. The questions contain the description. The answer incredible as it might seem are in the question. My belief is in you and I encourage you to take action on your desire and fuck with all your best effort to fulfill your true passion; To be with another woman and man and both. And that is my question! Why? Is there such a strong urge within me to lay back with my thighs spread wide (OK for me it's more likely on all fours, my rear wiggling around up in the air, but let's not quibble details) waiting for that fuck? What I want to know is why does getting fucked with a real cock feel so different, why is it so much more just the right "scratch" for my itch. Is my enjoyment of feeling my body rock back and forth while being fucked a genetic memory? Or is the other genetic memory even stronger, my brain wanting all the subliminal clues confirming that this is a male who is fucking me and might possibly impregnate me...?

And how does this address my entire issue of my "worship" of cocks, my passion to play with them, make them hard, suck them, feel the cum on my skin, down my throat...I have the real need of be fucked in the ass with tremendous passionate squeezing and deep penetration, rather than hard slamming speedfuck stroking. So as an appreciator of anal sex I just say take in the best you can to your vagina and ass when you do. Go for it and know it's good.
I worship the cock too. And the vagina. Sex/senuality is my GOD.