Bachelor Party

[Raymond4fun]

So I am engaged to be married. A few of my guy friends want to take me to for the Vegas crazy weekend. While i am not certain i would imagine this will include strip clubs and the like.

Unfortunately my significant other feels that strip clubs are degrading to woman and is not very happy about the whole bachelor party idea. She suggests i go camping with the guys.

Opinions, suggestions.....

[Lilith]

Well, I think the idea of a bachelor party is designed to see how couples are going to handle decisions. Some choices are:


A) You go to Vegas and tell her you went camping. What she doesn't know can't hurt.

B) You go camping despite really wanting to go to Vegas, making her happy is more important than getting what you want.

C) You tell her you want to go to Vegas and go to Vegas, she should be able to appreciate you have different tastes/views.

D) You tell her you'll go camping as long as your buddies can bring the strippers :D

[IowaMan]

I've been a best man a couple of times and thus got to throw the bachelor parties for my buddies. There was one occasion where the bride to be was very much against us having the "traditional" bachelor party. My best friend let me know of his fiance's concerns (which I was already very aware of) so I sat down with her (at his request) and talked it out. I honored her wishes and we ended up doing a guy's weekend in Chicago going to a Cubs game, hitting the bars on Rush St. and going to The House of Blues. We had just as much fun, if not more, than we would've had we gone to the strip clubs and such.

Actually, I had more fun that weekend than I ever have at any other bachelor party. The groom was happy, the bride was happy and all of the guys who went had a blast.

There's always the option of having parties at the same time too. I've never done that but have heard that they can be fun. :shrug:

But yeah, I do think it needs to be a mutual decision on what kind of party is appropriate/accepted.

Oh and congrats on the engagement! :thumb:

[Eastern]

Hi There
I have to agree with the bride.. you could always do a couples night and have them both go to a stripper bar.. do you have a stripper bars that cater to men and women at the same time.. then no hurt feelings

[Winston77]

What happens in Vegas stay's in Vegas :)

[Loulabelle]

What happens in Vegas stay's in Vegas :)

.....assuming no-one contracts any STIs or gets anyone pregnant.


While, to be honest, strip clubs don't really bother me, if the bride is not happy with it, it's not exactly the greatest start to marriage. Presumably she's not planning to see male strippers at her do, so she's abiding by the same rules.

I think if you're already disrespecting your wife's wishes/insecurities and you're not even married yet, you may as well just skip the wedding part altogether and go straight to giving her your house, the kids and a big chunk of your monthly pay cheque because in the long term that's what you'd be headed for.

[Casperr]

.....assuming no-one contracts any STIs or gets anyone pregnant.
... or gets married too soon!

These days, Raymond, marriages rarely start precisely on the day of your wedding and just as rarely finish when one of you dies. Your marriage began the day you two started dating, in the same way that dinner starts with an entree, seeing a movie starts with buying popcorn and a choc-top and going camping starts with packing a tent. The concept of 'one last night of bachelor freedom' for you to indulge your primal masculine urge to drink beer and look at titties (or is that drink titties and look at beer?) is a fantasy.

Your relationship to your fiance doesn't suddenly change the weekend (or whenever) before your wedding. Why would you do something I assume you wouldn't do while you're dating? Or even while you're married?

Your best man, or whomever you charge with organising your bachelor party, needs to be someone you trust and who will plan something that best accomodates your fiance's wishes with what makes you happy.

I'm best man at a friend's wedding later in the year. We're going paintballing.
Other "buck's nights" as we call 'em in Australia, that I've been to have been combined with the bride's "hen's nights". And others have involved booking a function room or a big table at a local restaurant, followed by drinks at a nearby bar.

The days of the frat party style bachelor parties are, I hope, dying quickly.

[Loulabelle]

Fussy and I combined our stag and hen parties respectively into a 'sten' do.....or was that a 'hag' do....I'm not sure.

[Lilith]

I had two bridal showers. One was a more traditional family and community event. The other was with my friends from work and was a tad bit raunchier :D

[Raymond4fun]

Thank you all for the comments and advise.

While i am uncertain about the final decision, I know that the 'what she doesn't will not hurt her outlook' is problematic. I guess this is a good test to our problem resolution skills!

[Teddy Bear]

Congratulations!!!

Wishing you all the best in your life together!!