i knoe its REALLY off topic. but i need some advice. plz.

[native.baby]

any lonely hearts out there?
my feionce went to jail 4months ago. and now im basicly a single mom now. my son is the best thing in my life.
my mans mom moved in to help, and it does. but its fcukin hard.
i knoe he'll be here for me when he gets out. but now i feel like theres no one i can lean on. i moved to be with him, so i only knoe a few ppl in this city.
i knoe that i have to tkae care of my son and i love to. seeing him smile everyday, i love it. i feel like ...... My son(10months) is the ONLY reason i get out of bed in the morning. is that the way it should be? im getting to the point that its not enough nemore. that makes me feel horrible too.
any suggestions? please dont say see a doctor. i have.

be nice. be mean. be honest.

[BigBear57]

It sounds like a pretty normal reaction to the situation. You're displaced and left alone... surely there's more to life. I know when I was in a similar frame of mind I had to get away and busy myself with some creative effort. Maybe there's a group activity you could attend on occasion to meet a few friends? Trust me I know the love for a child is awesome but you also need some friends your age to mingle with. Just my lil offering... best wishes to you.

[jseal]

native.baby,

You feel alone, but you are not. I have included links below to three support groups who know how you feel and can help you. “There is no worse feeling than that of being alone and helpless. This applies to the families of those who are incarcerated just as much as it does to those behind the walls.”

I hope one of these is right for you.

http://www.centerforce.org/families/support.cfm

http://dailystrength.org/support/Relationships_Sexuality/Families_of_Prisoners/?gclid=COe--I_upo0CFRGsGgod2R4B0Q

http://www.prisontalk.com/

[Lilith]

You are facing several circumstances that often leave people feeling isolated. When you stack one on top of the other I am sure the loneliness is overwhelming. I would suggest you find groups in your area who have things in common with you. Many churches have Mother's Day Out type programs that would offer you son a chance to be around other kids and you a chance to meet some other moms. Of course there are social groups etc. you could look into. I know its hard to just get out there and expose yourself but its the only way people will get the chance to know you.

Of course none of that helps at night when you feel the most alone. I understand those feelings. I was a millitary wife for some time. For those times, come here and find people to talk to, just like you did.

[osuche]

Come visit Pixies, and find other online communities. Set up some play dates for your child - I mean, you'll enjoy them a lot and he will be learning. :) I know he's a little young, but it will be good for you both.

(((((native.baby)))))))

[native.baby]

thanks every1

[Mark Vieth]

Not to pick on your post here, but ever heard of using spell check? Anyway it is normal to feel those feelings. Also it will get better and who knows you may even move on yourself. It of course depends on how long your fiance is in jail for as well. Who knows what the future may hold.

[Teddy Bear]

(((native.baby))) I don't think there's much thats really off topic here at Pixies. How are you doing? Hope things are a little better for you. Keep us up to date.... PM me if you want. :)

[Lilith]

Mark,
Ever heard the saying, "If you don't have any thing nice to say then shut the fuck up?"

*shrugs* Me neither :D

[Teddy Bear]

(((Lilith))) Thank you!!

[WildIrish]

Hmmm...I think I've heard that one before.




Could you sing a few bars? :D

[Teddy Bear]

Zippity Do Da...........



oh wait, thats not it. hmmm, guess I don't know it.

[Jude30]

Not to pick on your post here, but ever heard of using spell check? Anyway it is normal to feel those feelings. Also it will get better and who knows you may even move on yourself. It of course depends on how long your fiance is in jail for as well. Who knows what the future may hold.


Mark,
Ever heard the saying, "If you don't have any thing nice to say then shut the fuck up?"

*shrugs* Me neither

One of my HUGE pet peeves, and I was actually banned from one message board because of it. And the reason I don't respond a lot of times to posts like OP's.

If you come to a message board looking for help, and expect to get an intelligent respectful response is it too much to ask to have the question worded in an intelligible fashion? I know not everyone is a great speller of uses proper grammar, but at least a minimal effort should be made. To me taking the time to use proper spelling and grammar is a sign of respect to those whose help you're asking.

Like I said I'm not expecting college level English skills, because Lord knows I use crappy grammar and have trouble with certain words, but a little effort would be nice.

[Lilith]

As for what level of service you think she provides I can guaruntee ...

Jude30,
Have you ever heard that saying about casting the first stone?

*shrugs* me neither

[Mark Vieth]

She put this at the end of her thread. So why is everyone questioning what I said?????



be nice. be mean. be honest.



Now what is the point of having a public forum only to get shot down. Now I certainly don't need to have people tell me what I did or didn't say wasn't up to standard. I even recieved a pm in regards to this as well. Now the thread was started by native baby, it she has a problem with what I said she is more than welcome to pm me or say so here in the thread.

More and more people will stop posting on this site if this continues. What is the point of having a public forum if this is the kind of response that people are going to get?

Jude and myself and have a disagreement over this sort of thing in the past, I said my apologizes to him and that is that.

Native girl if indeed you have taken offence to what I said then I'll opologise in advance. Now can we stop picking on what I did or didn't say????

[Aqua]

She asked for advice concerning her life situation, not to be graded or judged on her spelling and/or grammar.

People are more likely to avoid posting for fear of being called out on the spelling/grammar then they are for being called out on off-topic, and needless, critique.

[Lilith]

You bumped a 6 week old post and began by criticizing someone's spelling (who btw is not from the US). If someone has issues with poor spellers and they open a thread with obvious spelling errors and feels offended by the lack of clear spelling then I have not one drop of sympathy for them. If they act like an asshole about it, I have no mercy either.

[Booger]

[QUOTE=Mark Vieth]Now what is the point of having a public forum only to get shot down. Now I certainly don't need to have people tell me what I did or didn't say wasn't up to standard. I even recieved a pm in regards to this as well. Now the thread was started by native baby, it she has a problem with what I said she is more than welcome to pm me or say so here in the thread. [QUOTE]





Mark you are wrong this is not a public forum member ship is required to post here making it a private forum. In fact it is a private moderated forum and if one of the moderators decided a post you have made is wrong and calls you on it. They are just doing their job. If you don't like this you are more then free not to post here any more.


P.S. Oh yea it's received not recieved don't you know it I before E except after C.

[PantyFanatic]

..... I know not everyone is a great speller of uses proper grammar, but at least a minimal effort should be made. .....
Did you mean “...great speller OR uses proper grammar...”? :confused:

















....... because Lord knows I use crappy grammar and have trouble with certain words, but a little effort would be nice.
Now should we divide this thread into ‘The Conventions of Proper Written Communications' and the topic of the ladies question, or don’t you have anything to contribute to something real? :shrug:

[jseal]

native.baby,

I hope your situation is improving. :)

[Oldfart]

Shakespeare spelt thing how he felt at the time and how it fitted into his rhymes.

Spelling wasn't set in concrete until Gutenberg got mass printing going.

If I can understand what someone's making an effort to say to me, I am happy.

If I am marking a spelling test, different story.

If the Brits and the Yanks can't agree on spelling, why should we claim to be better?

Give it a break and get back to what we do best.

[Steph]

Native girl if indeed you have taken offence to what I said then I'll opologise in advance. Now can we stop picking on what I did or didn't say????

I deal with typos in my job and I'm now laughing at OPOLOGISE. That's a new one.

You suggest she use spell check. I would think opologise would show up in yours.

Pot

Kettle

Black

Oblivious

Opologise

[Steph]

http://www.prisontalk.com/

This is a really good forum, native.baby. Have you checked it out?

[Jude30]

Jude30,
Have you ever heard that saying about casting the first stone?

*shrugs* me neither

I know I misspelled a word in my post. Two I think. I use Firefox and it has an automatic spell checker. I also stated that I am not the worlds best speller and can understand that most people aren't.

What I don't like (and am I wrong in assuming it's OK to say here what one does and does not like) is when a person almost seems to go out of their way to misspell words. I also belong to at least one message board where there are regular posters who don't even speak English as a first language.

I am not a spelling or grammar Nazi because I realize mine (as I stated before) is no where near perfect.

I guess PF you never ever make an error since you unlike me did not point out a fallible nature. The original poster made little to no effort to use anything approaching proper grammar or spelling. I ignored her post originally. In the first post I made here I was not attacking her (like you just did to me), I only stated an opinion. But I have discovered over the past year or two I've been here if you're among the "cool kids" you can get away with a hell of a lot more than if you're not.

[Loulabelle]

When you are priviledged enough to have the benefit of just about anything in life (money, 'breeding', education etc) that comes with the responsibility of realising that not everyone around you is fortunate enough to have the same.

If your spelling is better than some/most, just be grateful for your education and remember that there is always someone out there who'll be reading your post and noticing poor spelling, grammar, punctuation, sentence structure, vocabulary and syntax that you think is fine.

I'd rather be friends with a kind, polite, thoughful poor speller than someone who hasn't even been taught the good grace not to criticise someone for a failing that is not of their own making.

[Jude30]

Does anyone ever bother to actually read what I write or do they just skim it then misinterpret it as criticism?

If you notice I have never once on this site made a specific post about someones spelling ability or lack there of. What I did do in this thread is state an opinion of how I think someone should post if they want more people to reply. I can't be the only person who looks at a jumble of poorly spelled words with only the barest attempt at grammar and just skips it without even bothering trying to decipher what it says. If you don't care enough to make an attempt I don't care enough to make an attempt. I'm not even going to bother, like Mark did, telling you why more people are not responding to your problem.

But once again I forgot that stating an opinion that is unpopular here is forbidden, and makes one a horrible person.

[Loulabelle]

I'm not sure if your comment was directed at me specifically Jude, but if it was, can I just make it clear that my comment was a general one and not any kind of reply to your particular remarks.

I was simply trying to communicate what the majority of people here have already said but in a slightly different way that might make it easier to relate to.

[WildIrish]

If I act like an ahole and get called an ahole, I shouldn't be suprised or insulted and have no right to complain. Why is it that I understand that, and nobody else does?

[jseal]

... if you're among the "cool kids" you can get away with a hell of a lot more than if you're not.
Jude30,

Such is the lot of those who are not politically correct. :nod:

[scotzoidman]

If I act like an ahole and get called an ahole, I shouldn't be suprised or insulted and have no right to complain. Why is it that I understand that, and nobody else does?
Because the true ahole doesn't understand that he's an ahole?

And you understand this because you're not really an ahole, you just play one at pixies...

[Wicked Wanda]

Oh for goodness sakes!



:box: :curse: :hair: :ranting:

It's OVER!, No more comments about spelling here!!!!

At least not in this thread, OK?

First, if she was a troll, (which has to be a considered a possibility) she (or he) suceeded in sewing a lot of discontent here.

If she wasn't, then she was a lonely person seeking some comfort and advice, not spelling lessons.

Please consider this.
We live in a culture where in many groups correct spelling and grammar are shunned. A time and society where educated people spell "to" or "too" as "2", or before as "B4" and not just in text meesages. By the way, I use abreviations, but I NEVER send text messages in that fashion, out of respect for my language, but mostly out of respect for my parents. English was my Mama's second language, and she rarely spoke anything else.

I am an intelligent, well educated Woman, whose Papa was a Professor in the English Department of a major uni. (Yes, he was a Professor of Literature, but I still feel an obligation to write as best I can)
I try to spell correctly, and still make some awful typos and other mistakes.
I sometimes get sooo embarassed at my mistakes, the ones I find a week later when it is too late to fix them. Plus the posts I make when I am sleepy or worse when I am sipping my third glass of wine. (in vino veritas, so I am still going to post when under the influence)
It only goes to remind us that we are human, for goodness sake!
Besides, if there is a spell check for posts here I have no FREAKING IDEA how to use it. (Mickey taught me Freaking as an alternative to "other words" so I am going to use it a lot)
I have to copy my post into Word, spell check it, then paste it back, and that takes a lot of fun of a rant or just a vent, (like now) or when I am feeling hot and bothered.

What I have found here is an amazing assortment of kind, compassionate, literate, funny, intelligent people, wonderful people who whether you know it or not have helped me through some awful times. You have been my anchor, even part of the "family" I contacted when I had to be evacuated from New Orleans. When we thought we were going to loose Pixies I cried in frustration.
I NEED this place to come to and be nothing but myself, a place where people are at least kind enough to pretend to LIKE the fact that I am a sexually promiscuous, opinionated bitch! I'm a slut, and am liked here anyway. Maybe because of it. I enjoy knowing you are not pretending to like me just to get into my pants!

SO STOP THIS!

Please.


Linda.

(WW)

[Wicked Wanda]

Any I know I have developed a weird fondness for the smilies...

I have no idea why.

Sorry.

WW

[jseal]

Wicked Wanda,

I couldn't agree with you more. :thumb:

[native.baby]

thanx every1 4 defending me. an marK, im sorri im knot a goood spellr lik u.

But hey, I can live with that. Just like people have to live with criticism when they are a jerks.

I dont mind being told my spelling/grammer sucks. Truth be told on the INTERNET is does. In day to day life I'm actually an articulate person, I just don’t bother when I don’t have to.

Also if you don't like what you are reading, after the first sentence you shouldn't bother, unless you have some real advice.

Not exactly what I meant by be honest, but thanks anyway.

You know Mark, people often criticize what they dont like in themselves. Do you use your spell check alot?
_____________________

Hello everyone, things are getting better. my man was sent to a place in the city, that my son and i live in, and we get to see him alot more. i have gone to a few sites (including the prisontalk site, thank-you.) i have been going to a community center, and meeting new people. We like being outside, even going to the park so that he can play with other kids. Yeah, I try to keep my head up, and smile everyday. I feel better then i did when i started this.
Thanks to everyone.
_____________________

I didnt write this to be mean, so please dont be sensitive. I wasn't.

[native.baby]

Thanks Wanda. I agree.

[Loulabelle]

Oh I'm so glad you're feeling better. I do know what the isolation of motherhood can be like (my little man is now 9 months old) and can only imagine how hard it must be when you're separated from your man like that.

I've found getting out and meeting people makes it a lot easier (and also makes the baby sleep better too!) but it's scary when you first start out, so good for you for taking those first steps.

(By the way, I love your sense of humour and your attitude in general. Good on you, girlie!)

[Rhiannon]

So glad you are doing better native baby... Yes people can be jerks. just tell them to blow themselves.. lol

[Teddy Bear]

native.baby,

Thanks for letting us know things are getting better for you. And you can look forward to the day your man will be home with you and his little son. :)

Wishing you the best from here on!!

[Oldfart]

"you are not pretending to like me just to get into my pants"

Gentlemen and appropriate ladies.

Success!

Plan A, section B, implement.

[scotzoidman]

"you are not pretending to like me just to get into my pants"

Gentlemen and appropriate ladies.

Success!

Plan A, section B, implement.
I never thought she'd fall for our act...high fives all around!

[Oldfart]

Scotz, when we're good, we are so good.

Ouch, just dislocated my shoulder patting myself on the back.

[scotzoidman]

Hey...I know a nurse who could help ya with that... ;)