Master/Sub Advice

[MrBrownstone]

OK.
I know this possibly should be in the Advice section, but those don't get too many responses so I am posting here.
Anyways, I have been slowly experimenting lately with a Master/Submissive online relationship. Sort of.

I know there are all kind weird rules and the like for the M/s relationship.

What are the rules? What is allowed, not allowed?

I guess I dove in without a net.

[WildIrish]

Lilith to the thread please, Lilith to the thread. :D

[gekkogecko]

"The rules" are actually, what you, as a sub/master want them to be. Really, the best advice is to sit down with your partner and negotiate the terms of your relationship. And this goes beyond merely the use of a safeword when doing a scene.

Points to ponder:
1. A D/S relationship is a *power sharing* relationship. Really. It is said that the sub in the relationship has "all" the power, because s/he has the ultimate power: to end it, by walking out. This is crap. Yes, it is the ultimate power (as in "final"), but ultimate is not "all", by any stretch of the imagination.

2. How far does the D/S relationship go? ie, is it just in the bedroom, is it in domestic situations, does it cover any aspects of the sub/doms life outside the relationship?

3. Is the relationship to include others outside the relationship at the direction of the dom? If so, what activities are permitted, how often, and under what overall conditions?

4. Is switching roles to be allowed? If so, again, how often/under what circumstances?

5. Whatever the agreement, RESPECT it. If one of you feels uncomfortable with doing certain stuff, state that. And remember, it is possible to negotiate further negotiations. People are often curious about something, try it, and find they either do or do not like it. People do change their views. A regular "contract review" session (weekly, monthly, whatever you're comfortable with) should always be part of the plan.

6. Approach all this not as a burdonsome job, but as a fun activity. Hey, agreements can in and of themselves, make for some good foreplay.

7. Have fun, whatever you do.

[Lilith]

I don't do rules. You often will hear buzz about keeping things "safe, sane, and consensual". All 3 sound like a good idea to me.

I am one of those who do ascribe to the power of a sub. Their power comes in the form of their gift of submission, real submission. Whatever the dominant partner perceives that to be.

Prior to any dominating or submissioning :p a lot of negotiating should be done. Nothing like finding out something is a hard limit when you are in the middle of trying to get it to fruition.

I would also point out that since you said it is to an online situation that you will also deal with all the peculiarities of an online relationship not just a D/s one.

[Irezumi Kiss]

I am one of those who do ascribe to the power of a sub. Their power comes in the form of their gift of submission, real submission. Whatever the dominant partner perceives that to be.
So that makes it for you a "d/S," not a "D/s"....right?

[Lilith]

Yes and no. I'd never choose someone who could not/would not trust me. I also try my best to be worthy of that gift of trust.

[Pita]

OK.
What are the rules? What is allowed, not allowed?

Other than the safe, sane, and consensual there are no "rules"

You set the rules between you and your partner. There are BDSM check list you can find online that will give you both a good place to start in discovering your likes and dislikes.

I can't speak to doing this online, because to me there can be no M/s or D/s unless you are in person. Spanking ones self never held much appeal. Plus, I need the aftercare after a scene. How does that work online?

Good luck and have fun! :)

[Emzo]

nooooiiiiiceee