View Full Version : Throwing cooked rice......
Teddy Bear
02-05-2007, 01:26 AM
.......is very sticky!
Just left Lizz and Mayhems Pixie Wedding and I've got rice clinging to me!
PF brought cooked rice to throw. Oh well, Mayhem will have fun licking it out of Lizz's cleavage. LOL
CONGRATULATIONS Lizz & Mayhem!!
*huggggss!*
teddy-the-best-man-bear... lol, thanks Mayhem, I had a great time!!
Teddy Bear
02-05-2007, 01:50 AM
to Mayhem,
BUS TRIP
Recently a tour bus full of senior citizens was traveling along an interstate. Suddenly, an elderly woman in the back screamed and jumped out of her seat. The driver pulled over and headed toward the back of the bus. When the driver got to the woman, he asked what was wrong.
The woman replied, "There's a man trying to molest me!"
The driver asked the other passengers, but no one had seen anything. The driver turned to the woman and said, "You must have scared off the man when you screamed."
The woman agreed and returned to her seat. The bus driver resumed driving, but a few miles down the road the same woman, again, screamed and jumped out of her seat. Once again, the driver pulled over and headed to the back of the bus. "What's wrong now?" asked the driver.
The woman replied, "That man trying to molest me, he's under my seat!"
The driver looked under the seat, and sure enough there was an old bald guy. The driver said to the man, "Sir, this woman claims that you were trying to molest her."
The man replies, "No, no, no! I'm just looking for my toupee -- I thought I had it twice but it got away both times!"
Teddy Bear
02-05-2007, 01:54 AM
"A wizard?! But, But, but the little people said....."
lizzardbits
02-05-2007, 09:00 AM
roflmao!!!!
Thanks Teddy and all the pixie gang! It was a great ceremony!!!!!
osuche
02-05-2007, 01:27 PM
I had a wonderful time. Congrats you two!
Hope you aren't too tired tonight to consummate your Pixies wedding. ;)
PS - Thanks to Lil for the great vows and officiating.
Teddy Bear
02-05-2007, 09:24 PM
To Lizz & Mayhem at thier wedding "reception":
“The Lizard & The Father” -- I had to take my son's lizard to the vet.
Here's what happened:
Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was
"something wrong" with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room. "He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. "I'm serious dad, can you help?" I put my best lizard-healer statement on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do.
"Honey," I called, "come look at the lizard!"
"Oh my gosh," my wife diagnosed after a minute, “she’s having babies." "What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!" I was equally outraged. "Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce?" I accused my wife. "Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she inquired. (I actually think she said this sarcastically!) "No, but you were supposed to get two boys!" I reminded her, (in my most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth together). "Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed. "Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know," she informed me (again with the sarcasm, you think?)
By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it. "Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience, I announced, "We're about to witness the miracle of birth." "Oh, gross!" they shrieked. "Well, isn't THAT just great! What are we going to do with a litter of tiny little lizard babies?" my wife wanted to know. (I really do think she was being snotty here, too. Don't you?) We peered at the patient.
After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later. "We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted. "Its breech," my wife whispered, horrified. "Do something, Dad!" my son urged "Okay, okay." Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gentle tug. It disappeared. I tried several more times with the same results. "Should I call 911," my eldest daughter wanted to know. "Maybe they could talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here with the females in my house?)
"Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly. We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap. "Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged. "I don't think lizards do Lamaze," his mother noted to him. (Women can be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but this boy is of her womb, for Goodness sake.) The Vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass. "What do you think, Doc, a C-section?" I suggested scientifically. "Oh, very interesting," he murmured. "Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?" I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.
"Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked. "Oh, perfectly," the Vet assured us. "This lizard is not in labor. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen. Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um....um....masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back." He blushed, glancing at my wife. "Well, you know what I'm saying, Mr. Cameron." We were silent, absorbing this. "So Ernie's just...just... excited," my wife offered. "Exactly," the vet replied, relieved that we understood. More silence.
Then my viscous, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle. And then even laugh loudly. "What's so funny?" I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness. Tears were now running down her face. Laughing "It's just...that...I'm picturing you pulling on it’s... its...teeny little..." she gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more. "That's enough," I warned. We thanked the Vet and hurriedly bundled the lizards and our son back into the car. He was glad everything was going to be okay. "I know Ernie's really thankful for what you've done, Dad," he told me. "Oh, you have NO idea," (closed mouth), my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.
Teddy Bear
02-05-2007, 10:43 PM
A big THANK YOU to PF and The Shadow for the decorations at the 'reception'.
PF the panty place settings were lovely!
The Shadow you adding helium to PF's balloons and hanging pantys from them was great!
Can't wait for the pics!! :D
The Shadow
02-05-2007, 10:49 PM
congrats to Mayhem and Lizz .... may all you new children be male :cboy:
Just kidding.... hope they are healthy!!!!
I had a wonderful time at the wedding and where did lizz and teddy learn to pole dance ....... :loveshowe
*still got rice stuck here and there :devil: any help would be apprciated !!!
LixyChick
02-06-2007, 05:41 AM
Oh damn...I missed it!
sodaklostsoul
02-06-2007, 08:30 AM
Was a great ceremony.......awsome job Lilith!!!!!
I wanna wish the happy couple a long and wonderful life!!!
Thank You Lizz for including me in your wedding, sorry I wasn't a better Maid of Honor, my mind is not to focused right now.
P.S. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for ya!!
gekkogecko
02-06-2007, 11:27 AM
At my sister's wedding, we didn't throw rice of any kind.
We threw rocks.
Unfortunately, they all missed.
Oldfart
02-06-2007, 11:33 AM
I'm really sorry I missed it, dammit.
It sounds like it went very well, another amazing intersection between Pixies and RL.
Congrats.
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