What do you do when your wife's best friend makes a pass at you?

[ndugu]

I could not believe it the first time she made a pass at me but by the third time there was no doubt

[denny]

If you are committed to your wife, the answer is obvious. But I guess if you are not, that is obvious also.

[Oldfart]

Count your testicles and decide how committed you are to keeping them.

[osuche]

Count your testicles and decide how committed you are to keeping them.


:rofl:


I'd try politely telling her that I wasn't interested - in private - and mentioning that you are married and take that seriously. Then, if she doesn't take the hint, tell your wife.

By the way - if you've ignored her to date and she's still making passes, it may be because she thinks you haven't noticed. Women know that men can be obtuse sometimes. You need to leave no doubt in her mind that you're unavailable.

[IowaMan]

Women know that men can be obtuse sometimes.
Huh? What do you mean by that? :roflmao:


Haven't had that exact situation but I've had girlfriend's best friends and my best friend's sister make passes at me. Can't say it ever got to a third time though. Definitely seems like the private conversation would be a good place to start. A lot of it depends upon how strong the communication is between you and your wife too.

That's a pretty good point that Oldfart made too. ;)

[gekkogecko]

I talk it over with my wife. We're poly, after all.

It's really only happened once, and that bit of extra activity didn't work out, though.

[Irezumi Kiss]

She could just be fucking with you, too...waiting to see if you'll take the bait.

I sez don't do it...unless you're looking for "real life" experience for a salacious novel you're writing.

[Scarecrow]

It all depends on your wifes attituted, when we were younger, if that had happened to me I would have told my wife and she probable would have said 'Have fun'. Today with age and illnesses I'm not so sure.

[CrouchingBuddha]

I doubt this is the case, but also consider this may be one of those 'little tests'. Some women are paranoid and suspitious, and often sign their friends up to see how their husband/boyfriend would reactto that friend making a pass. As I said, in all likelyhood this isn't the case, especially if you and your wife communicate well. But you never know.

I'd generally be like, "I'm flattered, but why are you even interested?"

Women tend to not like men who insist they're not attractive. It seems like they have confidence issues and that's generally too much to work with.

Or be like, "Well, I gotta say, I have this huge, festering pustule on the head of my penis that just WON'T go away, but if you don't mind that..."

If you can say it without wincing she'll run for the hills and never bother you again :D

[GingerV]

Little questions always bring the big answers out of me...but I'm going to try to keep my answer here appropriately brief.

Ditto to Oldfart's answer. There's potentially a whole hell of a lot of bad feeling here, it can't be worth it. And if it is worth it, I think you probably have to wrap up the problems at home BEFORE venturing abroad.

I _have_ to ask though, as an absolutely unreformable flirt....are you sure that she's making a pass, and not just doing some heavy flirting with a "safe" target who won't call her bluff? If someone didn't know me, they could be REALLY confused about my intentions.

G

[Free Ken]

next time... run the hell away, nothing good will come of it. If it was like an aquantance, go for it, but her best friend? run.

[Irezumi Kiss]

Hmmm...why not meet this problem in the middle instead waffling around either end...how attractive is a possible threesome here? If you're all in the same salad bowl together, then no one's "cheating."

I mean...if they're really "best" friends, then...best friends DO share and share alike...or so I've heard *koff koff koff*

:sex:

[Loulabelle]

I don't understand what the point is in even asking this question!

A woman would never ask what to do if her husband's best friend hit on her, as the answer is so obvious. She'd tell him to fuck off in no uncertain terms, and gently try to steer her husband towards more loyal friends.

Are you asking this question because you are flattered by her attention? The woman's a creep with no respect for herself, your wife, your relationship or her relationship with her supposed 'best friend' - even if you were in the market for being unfaithful (which I'm assuming you're not, otherwise why would you bother being married?) would you really want to be with a woman like that?!

[rabbit]

I could not believe it the first time she made a pass at me but by the third time there was no doubt

It all depends on you...

Have fun deciding!

[wrestlemark]

gotta trust ............ talk to your wife tell her about the 3 some thing maybe if shes into it you will have every guys dream 2 ladys if shes not like that tell her friend no tell her you are gonna tell your wife if she dosen't stop tough spot your in ...............wifes friend really isn't your wifes friend if your wife dosen't know about it..............................

[Oldfart]

Two further thoughts,

One is "No, dammit!"

Two is getting her to check with your missus if it's OK.

[scotzoidman]

Two further thoughts,

One is "No, dammit!"

Two is getting her to check with your missus if it's OK.
Once again, the knife of finely tuned logic cuts right thru to the only correct answers...

[WildIrish]

I would tell her to "hold that thought, and don't go ANYWHERE til I get back!"

then run to ask Mrs. WI if it's ok if I could accept the offer. :D

[ndugu]

You see I have never been seduced before by someone other than my wife .... I am sorely tempted

[Mark Vieth]

Hi there just going through the posts and found this.

Anyway there are a few scenarios or avenues you can try here.
1. Tell your wife what her friend has been doing and see how she reacts.
2. Ask this friend if she swings both ways, if she says yes, then approach your wife with "hey your friend wants to know if you are interested in a 3some?"
3. Put her friend in her place and put up all the stops and stone wall her.

Up to your, it is your choice at the end of the day. Just be careful with what you do go with.

[Loulabelle]

Well, if you feel that reason is enough to justify the break up of your marriage to your kids (if you have them) friends and family, not to mention your wife, then go ahead.

Seems like a pretty crap reason to throw it all away to me, but the reality is, even with permission from your wife, having sex outside of your marriage may well result in disaster.

Just take a few moments to imagine losing everything you have that's important for the sake of 'I've only ever been seduced by my wife'. There are plenty of men out there who've never been seduced by anyone, not even their wives if they are lucky enough to have them, so the 'poor me' routine is going to fare poorly as an excuse.

Be honest with your wife about the situation. She may even become more attentive if she feels she has some competition, but for god's sake be sensitive with her!

[ReaperWoman]

Well said Lou ^^^ couldn't agree more.