Approaching women

[rzande1]

Hello, it is me again. Anyway to continue the legacy along I am starting this. I basically have no experience talking to women due to the fact I only asked one out and well I suck. lol anyway I need advice. Where do I meet women since I am out of college and how do I approach them.

[rzande1]

To add on I am extremely shy if that helps out.

[Oldfart]

Many have dwelt on this.

Go where you are comfortable and wait until someone falls into your lap.

[lonedude]

yep I think thats right just go to somewhere you feel comfortable and just start chatting as though it was a mate or something eventually when the moment and the person is right then you will click and hey prest. you can always chat to people online in a forum or somewhere and before you know it if you click with someone meet up with them you never know what could happen :)

[Mark Vieth]

Hi there rzande1, I can help but notice a trend in your threads. By this I am referring to your other thread on "moving on". Now I understand you have just split up with a women and now you are wanting to go and find another so soon. I think you should work on your attitude in regards to how to act with your partner and what is acceptible. I say this in regards to the other thread I mentioned. If things hadn't gone pear shape your ex then you wouldn't be in the predicament you now find yourself in. Obviously your life is yours and you live it the way you see fit, but unless you learn from your mistakes first, you will make them again. I am sorry if this comes off the wrong way, I don't mean you any disrespect or ill fortune etc.

In regards to meeting women and where to find them etc. Well you can meet them at a bar,club etc. The net is also a good place to look, but be weary though as there are some freaks out there lol. There is another option, if you have some friends you might be able to find people through them.

[Belial]

Not that I'm an expert, but approach them confidently (not like a cocky arsehole or sleazebag) and speak to them as if what you're doing is perfectly normal (because really, it is). Speak to them like people. If it helps, remember that she's probably a bit fucked up too, even if she's drop-dead gorgeous. Maybe even a lot fucked up. You'd be surprised. Don't take that too far or you'll develop a superiority complex, but eh...

[osuche]

My recommendation is not to approach anyone right now. Even if you don't realize it, you're an emotional train wreck right now. Take care of you, and focus on finding new interests. The relationship will take care of itself when you're ready.

[1nutworld]

Very well said Osuche!!

Take it from someone who knows, thru experience. Untill you are comfortable with yourself, and your own emotional "state of mind", you could posess the atributes of a greek god, and still be "un-attractive" to the opposite sex right now.

Assess who you are, and give yourself some time. As hard as it is being alone, when the timing is right you will find someone you can be comfortable with.

[Steph]

Hello, it is me again. Anyway to continue the legacy along I am starting this. I basically have no experience talking to women due to the fact I only asked one out and well I suck. lol anyway I need advice. Where do I meet women since I am out of college and how do I approach them.


What are you doing? Do you have a job? Do you have an apartment you can fix up? Something you can concentrate on? Something by which to better yourself?

[Loulabelle]

Not that I'm an expert, but approach them confidently (not like a cocky arsehole or sleazebag) and speak to them as if what you're doing is perfectly normal (because really, it is). Speak to them like people. If it helps, remember that she's probably a bit fucked up too, even if she's drop-dead gorgeous. Maybe even a lot fucked up. You'd be surprised. Don't take that too far or you'll develop a superiority complex, but eh...

Wow that sounds familiar....where have I heard that before. ;)

Excellent advice sweetie. I'm so proud of you. :D

[sodaklostsoul]

Not that I'm an expert, but approach them confidently (not like a cocky arsehole or sleazebag) and speak to them as if what you're doing is perfectly normal (because really, it is). Speak to them like people. If it helps, remember that she's probably a bit fucked up too, even if she's drop-dead gorgeous. Maybe even a lot fucked up. You'd be surprised. Don't take that too far or you'll develop a superiority complex, but eh...
Belial knows what he's talking about. ;) :loveshowe

Dude your on the rebound right now. You may think your ready to find someone but you have to make sure she is out of your system because if you do find another and you keep bringing up the EX not meaning too, the new one isn't gonna be happy.

Shy huh, well all it takes is a smile or a "Hello" to start a simple convo. Look her in the eye and smile. You will not burst into flames if you do. Some may not smile back, no biggie, keep doing it. Hold a door open for her, if she has only a couple of items at the supermarket let her go first. If your doing wash at the laundry mat just say Hello to the gal next to you. If your at the bookstore and you see a gal looking at a book you've read then mention how good it was. If you take the bus same thing, a simple Hello or a smile or a head nod even. If a convo is started and you get tongue tied then keep your answers short. Eventuality the convos will get easier as you learn not all women are out to get you. There will be some turn downs but thats part of the game of life. If your looking to fall for someone right away just remember that you need to become friends first before soul mates. Your young yet, there is plenty of time. I'm 40 and found mine 2 years ago. The rest before him were practice. I'm not saying you'll take that long to find yours, but you have to give it time. Not everyone is lucky to find someone right away.

If you can't cope with losing this one and can't find strengh not to think your a loser, then seek professional help. Talking out your fears does help.

Good Luck.

P.S.
You can meet women anywhere. All it takes is a smile or a little Hello to get started.

[Belial]

Belial knows what he's talking about. ;) :loveshowe



Actually she approached me :p

But thanks :)

[sodaklostsoul]

Actually she approached me :p

But thanks :)
And you never thought it would happen. :D

:loveshowe

[CuteCoupleOz]

I once dated a gal after being stuck in a elevator (lift) for 4 hours with her. Lots of time to talk.

The relationship didn't last but. To many Ups and Downs!


Catch22

[Belial]

rzande1, it will also depend what your intentions are as to the approach you should take. "Just friends" will demand a different approach to "girlfriend" and a different approach again to "one-night stand"...

[Matticus]

I do not know a thing about meeting women. I was the first guy my wife ever approached and I do not plan on having to repeat.

[Free Ken]

Let me lay this out... from somebody who used to have alot of trouble with this kind of thing.

Be confident, be cool, but do not under any circumstances, try to be something your not. Be yourself. If a girl doesnt like you she doesnt like you, keep moving, its nothing to cry about. Theres millions of fish in the see, some of them are bound to be great for you, but your never going to catch one if your too chicken to fish.

And dont worry about a girl being "out of our league", you may be a little leaguer in yankee stadium, but they respect that you have the balls to swing.

[rzande1]

so has anyone heard of the pheromone cologne to help attract women?

[Lilith]

I believe in personal pheromones but don't believe in the ones in the bottle. The idea is that the attraction occurs on an almost subconscious level. Plus why would you want to cover up the ones you give off. You want the person who is attracted to YOU not the shit in the bottle.

[flutelady]

My recommendation is not to approach anyone right now. Even if you don't realize it, you're an emotional train wreck right now. Take care of you, and focus on finding new interests. The relationship will take care of itself when you're ready. I couldn't agree more. Let friendship and love come to you. Be patient.

[rzande1]

Yea well fun times. I don't know. This is just crazy. I am seriously loosing faith in this whole oh it will come.

[WildIrish]

I believe in personal pheromones but don't believe in the ones in the bottle. The idea is that the attraction occurs on an almost subconscious level. Plus why would you want to cover up the ones you give off. You want the person who is attracted to YOU not the shit in the bottle.


Chicks don't dig bottles of shit? :confused:


How about tastefully decorated designer baskets of toenail clippings?

[1nutworld]

I am seriously loosing faith in this whole oh it will come.

I may be waaaayyyyyyy off base here, but it seems that you've decided to remove your ex from your life, about a week ago or less.

Are you seriously thinking and expecting to find the next "love of your life" within that time span??

Come on! It might take months, or even years for that to happen. I'm not trying to rain on your parade here, but give yourself some time to just be YOU. Losing someone you care about, even IF she's bad for you, takes time.........more than a week.

If you're looking for something to make yourself feel better, and you expect it to happen within say a week, or 2 or 3, or even 6...........try PORN!

The internet has made us a very "instant gratification"-ish society. Life doesn't work that way, and you can't expect it to.

Give the "It will come" theory a try...........and just relax. A week just isn't enough. A MONTH isn't enough.

You would be doing yourself a great favor by listening to the words of advise given first by Osuche, and seconded by Flutelady.

[Oldfart]

In love and lust, take the "now" out of your vocabulary and settle for soon.